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Correction dialogue !!
Message de pmpmpm posté le 28-11-2009 à 12:08:52 (S | E | F)
bonjour j'ai réalisé un dialogue et j'aimerais qu'il soit corriger ,
-Dad,you said that you will buy me the iphone
-Yes,but when the price is reduct
-But,it is.The cost is now at six hundred euro instead og seven hundred euro.
-Oh my god !What's this reduct ?Your father is not Bill Gates.
-The ipone is the best mobile phone in world.You can go on internet.
-Ok ! But spams on internet can influence you because you are gullible and advertising have an impact on you .
-On iphone,i can phone you in cass og emergency.Fir example,ig a man kidnapp me,i will text you.
-Yes ,but it's no for it's too expansive so it's no,ok ?
-Money ,it's more important than me ?
-Are you become mad ?You are making a lot of fuss just for an iphone .
-But ,there are many applications on the iphone like sat now and you have problems find in your way on the road .
-There is a sat now on this iphone !!!!!
-Yes,Dad !
-I'm going to buy this iphone tomorrow.
-Cool ,you are the best father.
-No ,it's for me !!
merci
Message de pmpmpm posté le 28-11-2009 à 12:08:52 (S | E | F)
bonjour j'ai réalisé un dialogue et j'aimerais qu'il soit corriger ,
-Dad,you said that you will buy me the iphone
-Yes,but when the price is reduct
-But,it is.The cost is now at six hundred euro instead og seven hundred euro.
-Oh my god !What's this reduct ?Your father is not Bill Gates.
-The ipone is the best mobile phone in world.You can go on internet.
-Ok ! But spams on internet can influence you because you are gullible and advertising have an impact on you .
-On iphone,i can phone you in cass og emergency.Fir example,ig a man kidnapp me,i will text you.
-Yes ,but it's no for it's too expansive so it's no,ok ?
-Money ,it's more important than me ?
-Are you become mad ?You are making a lot of fuss just for an iphone .
-But ,there are many applications on the iphone like sat now and you have problems find in your way on the road .
-There is a sat now on this iphone !!!!!
-Yes,Dad !
-I'm going to buy this iphone tomorrow.
-Cool ,you are the best father.
-No ,it's for me !!
merci
Réponse: Correction dialogue !! de pmpmpm, postée le 28-11-2009 à 12:33:09 (S | E)
un moment du texte je me suis trompé c'est of et if
Réponse: Correction dialogue !! de brettdallen, postée le 28-11-2009 à 13:06:38 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Il y a un certain nombre de choses à corriger, cependant vous avez eu le bon goût d'offrir une chute qui rend l'ensemble sympathique.
-Dad,you said (that) you will(il faut respecter les règles du discours indirect: "will" au passé, donc?) buy me the iphone
-Yes,but when the price is("would" + "baisser") reduct
-But,it is("has").The cost is now at(ok ou, plus simple: "It's now") six hundred euro(pluriel) instead og seven hundred euro(en fait, ce n'est même pas nécessaire de répéter).
-Oh my god !What's this reduct(maladroit) ?Your father is not Bill Gates.
-The ipone is the best mobile phone in(the) world.You can go on internet.
-Ok ! But spams on internet can influence you because you are gullible/easily influenced and advertising have(3ème personne du singulier) an impact on you .
-On iphone,i(majuscule!) can phone you in cass(orthographe) og emergency.Fir example,ig a man kidnapp(1 P et 3ème personne du singulier) me,i will text you.(en fait, je dirais "si un homme me kidnappait, je pourrais t'appeler.", essayez de traduire cela)
-Yes ,but it's no("je dis non!") for("because". "for" est beaucoup plus "écrit") it's too expansive(orthographe) so it's no("je dis non"),ok ?
-Money ,it's(à reconstruire: "l'argent est-il plus important...") more important than me ?
-Are you
-But ,there are many applications on the iphone like sat? now and you have problems find in your way on the road .
-There is a sat? now on this iphone !!!!!
-Yes,Dad !
-I'm going to buy this iphone tomorrow.
-Cool ,you are the best father.
-No ,it's for me !!
Je n'ai pas tout signalé mais vous pouvez déjà améliorer l'ensemble en faisant le nécessaire.
Amicalement.
Réponse: Correction dialogue !! de pmpmpm, postée le 28-11-2009 à 13:31:25 (S | E)
merci donc il faut que je mette des would au deux premières fautes ensuite il faut que je mette kidnapps puis cas, expanssive ,puis je mets :I said no !
par contre je ne sais pas ce qu'il faut mettre à la place de What's this reduct?
merci
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