Correction/comic strip

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Correction/comic strip
Message de roxor93 posté le 06-12-2009 à 16:50:01 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous, je dois rédiger un petit paragraphe sur une image d'une bande dessinée qu'on a vue en cours et j'aurais besoin de savoir si le texte que j'ai fait est bon .

The picture from the comic strip caller"Calvin & Hobbes" show us Mo the bad boy wants to hit the small boy Calvin because Mo would like his money.
Next to Calvin, we can see the lockers of the school so I think this scene is in the Calvin's school during the break.
Calvin is a boy, he is small and he has got eight years old, he afraid of Mo the boy who is big and has 10 years old.
If calvin doesn't want give his money to Mo , I think he death.
In the futur I think Calvin is going to gave his money to Mo and when he gave it he did free.


Voilà , j'attends vos réactions à propos de ce petit paragraphe , je rappelle quand même que je suis en 3eme , voilà .
Un grand merci à tous ceux qui me répondront.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 06-12-2009 17:34

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Réponse: Correction/comic strip de roxor93, postée le 06-12-2009 à 17:40:30 (S | E)
Personne ne peut me dire si mon paragraphe est bon ?
Je suis vraimet embetté , j'attends vos réponses... merci

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Réponse: Correction/comic strip de seb06000, postée le 06-12-2009 à 17:45:42 (S | E)
bonsoir,

sachez que nous sommes bénévoles, nous travaillons selon nos possibilités et un devoir un dimanche soir n'est pas pressé...Sachant que vous l'avez depuis au moins 2 jours....

The picture from the comic strip caller ( il faut le participe passé) "Calvin & Hobbes" show ( 3éme personne donc...) us Mo the bad boy ( il manque un relatif) wants to hit the small boy Calvin because Mo would like his money.
Next to Calvin, we can see the lockers of the school so I think this scene is in the Calvin's school during the break.
Calvin is a boy, he is small and he has got( expression de l'âge avec HAVE?? pas sur! ) eight years old, he ( il manque un verbe) afraid of Mo the boy who is big and has (idem) 10 years old.
If calvin doesn't want give his money to Mo , I think he death( he death??? sens? il faut un verbe) .
In the futur (ortho) I think Calvin is going to gave( to + forme infinitive) his money to Mo and when he gave (temps) it he did free ( sens?) .


Courage

sebastien



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Modifié par seb06000 le 06-12-2009 17:46

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Réponse: Correction/comic strip de roxor93, postée le 06-12-2009 à 18:13:31 (S | E)
Merci pour ta réponse Sébastien ,ce paragraphe c'est pour Mercredi alors j'ai encore le temps , ne pensez surtout pas que je suis une personne qui fais mes devoirs la veille...
Je m'avance toujours , le dernier message que j'ai posté était la pour que mon sujet ne tombe pas dans les oubliettes du forum.
J'ai corrigé le texte , qu'en pensez vous?

The picture from the comic strip called "Calvin & Hobbes" show us Mo the bad boys wants to hit the small boy Calvin because Mo would like his money.
Next to Calvin, we can see the lockers of the school so I think this scene is in the Calvin's school during the break.
Calvin is a boy, he is small and he is eight years old, he is afraid of Mo the boy who is big and he is 10 years old.
If calvin doesn't want give his money to Mo , I think he die.
In the futur I think Calvin is going to give his money to Mo and when he give it, he did free ( sens? > libre mais comment le dire ?) .

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Réponse: Correction/comic strip de seb06000, postée le 06-12-2009 à 18:25:06 (S | E)
re!

Humbles excuses alors

"t he picture from the comic strip called "Calvin & Hobbes" show (3éme personne du présent simple) us Mo the bad boys (il manque un relatif => Mo le mauvais garçon QUI veut ...) wants to hit the small boy Calvin because Mo would like his money.
Next to Calvin, we can see the lockers of the school so I think this scene is in the (article inutile) Calvin's school during the break.
Calvin is a boy, he is small and he is eight years old, he is afraid of Mo the boy who is big and he is 10 years old.
If calvin doesn't want give (construction de Want => want + préposition + his money) his money to Mo , I think he die (bien il faut juste ajouter la marque du futur).
In the futur (ortho) I think Calvin is going to give his money to Mo and when he give( 3éme personne) it, he did free ( sens? > libre=> ok! mais il faut le mettre au futur!)

Amicalement

sebastien

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Réponse: Correction/comic strip de roxor93, postée le 06-12-2009 à 18:51:04 (S | E)
Re , voici le texte corrigé , a la fin je sais pas comment mettre le futur , "did" ne suffit pas ?




the picture from the comic strip called "Calvin & Hobbes" shows us Mo the bad boys who wants to hit the small boy Calvin because Mo would like his money.
Next to Calvin, we can see the lockers of the school so I think this scene is in Calvin's school during the break.
Calvin is a boy, he is small and he is eight years old, he is afraid of Mo the boy who is big and he is 10 years old.
If calvin doesn't want to give his money to Mo , I think he did die .
In the future, I think Calvin is going to give his money to Mo and when he gives it, he is did free .


amicalement.

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