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Correction exposé sur JO Londres

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Correction exposé sur JO Londres
Message de charly79 posté le 12-12-2009 à 23:56:20 (S | E | F)

Bonjour, j'ai un exposé et je recherche une âme charitable qui voudrait bien me corriger ce que je dois dire.
Merci par avance.

As far as I'm concerned, I'll talk about the green card played by the organizers of London Olympics, socio-economics issues and sports expectations at the moment of these Olympic Games.

Sport at the dawn of ecology
In the context of sustainable sport development, the 2012 Olympic organizers opted for preparations that emphasize ecology. And yes, the sport also leads us to respect the environment. Indeed, after pollution caused by site and stadium constructions in Beijing during the Olympics in 2008, organizers of the 2012 Games in London have agreed to build facilities cleaner and greener. To do this, a recyclable Olympic stadium will be built by 2012. The stadium will have a structure looking like a circus with an aspect bolted, thereby facilitating its dismantling at the end of the competition. But what is fabulous in this idea is that the structure will be manufactured in recyclable polymer. This type of raw material decreased by 30% the negative consequences related to pollution. With a size roughly normal, this stadium will host more than 80,000 people and after the Olympics, he will host other events.
Apart from the green Olympic stadium, the organizers give themselves wholly to implement sustainable development. Thus, a natural reserve was created around the stadium. This area of 10 000 meters will host some species present in London. The campaign Green Tourism for London, launched in October 2007, aims to encourage hotels, bed & breakfast, conference rooms and venues to adopt a sensitive policy environment. Furthermore, the flame that will burn throughout the Olympics in 2012 will use fuel with a low rate of carbon dioxide.
All this communication operation could give London a picture of "green city"!

Socio-economic issues
The social commitment goes hand in hand with sustainable development. Therefore, the city has hired former unemployed and young people from the 5 boroughs of London to the workforce. This allows them to contribute to the building, find work and help them reintegrate into society while respecting the environment. From a human perspective, these Olympic Games can allow for consolidation of connections between the British people if a jubilation is formed around the athletes.
Growth, tourism, sponsorship, TV rights...The 33rd Olympic Games in the modern era, which will open in summer 2012 in London, are subject to significant economic challenges.
Today, the majority of revenue comes from television rights and business partners. The spillover and infrastructure like sports equipment, but also civil engineering, hotels... are also crucial for host cities.
Organizer of the 2012 Olympics, London is already concern about the bill. The financial crisis, coupled with a housing crisis, complicating the assembling operation. And the budget can be multiplied by 3.

Sports expectations
What can we expect about these future London Games from a sporting point of view?
First of all, Spain is not a strong nation but progress in each Olymplics and will try to get into the top 10. France is steadily plummeting since the Atlanta Olympics in 1996 and could in turn be expelled from the top 10. Although the gap seems too large, the UK and Germany will try to get on the podium. Moreover, British athletes will play at home and want to get 'their' Games. Between China and the USA, the battle for supremacy in sport has really begun. On the sports scene as in politics or in economy, China is undoubtedly the nation that rises, moving up one place in each Olympics, China has taken the top of the table at home in Beijing in 2008. We shall see in 2012 if China will gain a solid foothold in the sports scene at some point in the future or if it will come back to earth.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 13-12-2009 08:38
forum


Réponse: Correction exposé sur JO Londres de seb06000, postée le 13-12-2009 à 06:54:23 (S | E)
bonjour,

je vous indique les choses à améliorer

- a structure looking like a circus => on peut faire un adjectif composé pour alléger

-an aspect bolted => Bolted est adjectif ici....

-With a size roughly normal, => idem

- the Olympics, he will host => he ne va pas ici, il s'agit du Stade

-The campaign Green Tourism for London => il faut mettre entre guillemets ou souligner

-London is already concern about => is + participe passé ou adjectif

-coupled with a housing crisis, complicating the ( c'est une forme conjuguée qu'il faut ici!)



Voilà ce que je modifierais, une autre lecture d'un membre permettra sans doute d'encore améliorer votre texte!

Amicalement

sébastien




Réponse: Correction exposé sur JO Londres de charly79, postée le 13-12-2009 à 13:47:35 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup Sébastien, apparemment j'ai pas fait de la grosse daube je suis content.
Donc, comme il a dit si d'autres veulent bien m'aider, ils sont les bienvenus...



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