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Message de hibou-bleu posté le 01-01-2010 à 16:28:33 (S | E | F)
Bonjour ! Voici une expression écrite à propos de ma passion dans la vie. Il y a des passages que j'ai peur d'avoir trop "francisé". Si vous pouviez m'indiquer mes fautes ce serait super !
Good afternoon ! This is an essay about my passion in life. There is part of it that I'm not sure of myself. Could you correct my errors ? It would be wonderful !
d'avance !
Thank you very much !
Le sujet / Subject : Have you got a passion in life ? Write about it.
When I was little, I indulged in drawing elves, fairies and a lot of other magical creatures. I imaginated incredible journey with them. They travelled through enchanded forests and deep lakes, beyond mountains and foreign countries. I enjoyed it a lot. Writing and drawing were both hobbies. However it became a real passion when I discovered the world of manga. Indeed it fascinated me therefore I started my first comic which wasn't a success but was the beginning of my passion. Now I devote myself to write an illustrated fairytale, finish a comic and scenarios. I'm good at this, not as much as great artists but I try to improve myself.
When I create a comic, I never habe an idea when I want it. Most of the time, I hit upon an idea of some kind of story (mystery, humorous,...) and it become an obscession. I'm drawing sketches of characters on every pieces of paper I have at hand ; moreover I'm writing notes and main character's dialogues. However I must admit that I had to rack my brain to make this story more logical. What's more I have a big problem. I have too much ideas in my mind and too less time to spend on it.
I could say that this passion makes me satisfy with myself and brings me a lot of pleasures. It isn't an addict, nevertheless I could hardly live without these.
To conclude, I think I'm fond of telling stories and I wish I could move someone with them.
Réponse: Expression-passion in life de seb06000, postée le 01-01-2010 à 16:33:35 (S | E)
bonjour,
je vous indique ce qui ne va pas:
'When I was little( calque du français) , I indulged (sens?) in drawing elves, fairies and a lot of other magical creatures. I imaginated incredible journey( il manque la marque du pluriel) with them. They travelled through enchanded (ortho) forests and deep lakes, beyond mountains and foreign countries. I enjoyed it a lot. Writing and drawing were both hobbies. However it became a real passion when I discovered the world of manga. Indeed it fascinated me therefore I started my first comic which wasn't a success but was the beginning of my passion. Now I devote myself to write( forme du verbe) an illustrated fairytale, finish a comic and scenarios. I'm good at this, not as much as great artists but I try to improve myself.
When I create a comic, I never habe( ?) an idea when I want it. Most of the time, I hit upon an idea of some kind of story (mystery, humorous,...) and it become (conjugaison) an obscession (ortho) . I'm drawing sketches of characters on every pieces of paper I have at (préposition) hand ; moreover I'm writing notes and main character's dialogues. However I must admit that I had to rack my brain to make this story more logical. What's more I have a big problem. I have too much ideas in my mind and too less time to spend on it.
I could say that this passion makes me satisfy with myself and brings me a lot of pleasures. It isn't an addict, nevertheless I could hardly live without these.
To conclude, I think I'm fond of telling stories and I wish I could move someone with them.
Voilà, il reste sans doute des choses
Amicalement
sébastien
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Modifié par seb06000 le 01-01-2010 16:35
Réponse: Expression-passion in life de hibou-bleu, postée le 02-01-2010 à 11:56:48 (S | E)
beaucoup !
Pour "indulge in doing something" Je m'étais servi d'une feuille, cela signifie "s'adonner à faire quelque chose"
Pour ce qui est du début, en anglais on dirait plus : "When I was a little girl" ?
Encore merci !
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