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Disneyland-correction
Message de kool posté le 09-01-2010 à 12:39:47 (S | E | F)
bonjour. la prof d'anglais nous a demandé d'écrire un lettre à une amie où je lui raconte ce que j'ai fait à disneyland et ce qui me reste à faire. voilà ce que j'ai écrit:
Dear Leila,
How are you? I am now at Disneyland, a big and a great park, shows and attractions of this magical place combine beauty and dreams.
I have just been at Tower of Terror, accessible to children from 1 meter 02. It’s an old hotel where the events are inspired by a legend. Visitors entering the attraction are taken into a library to watch a movie summarizing this story, and then they visit the hotel and go into a lift where they are transported to the 13th floor and the elevator had a fall of ten floors. It was really scary. I have already been in two attractions: The first is one of the most famous attractions of Disney Parks; it’s Pirates of the Caribbean: the attraction that inspired the film of the same name. Sets very realistic and detailed, a perfect Sound track, it’s a cruise where we discover the world of pirates. The second is Adventure Isle. It isn’t really an attraction, but rather a series of trails, bridges and caves to explore with a group.
After a small break in the park’s café, I‘ll visit Stunt Spectacular. It’s a very exciting attraction because you see how do they do movie stunts. The atmosphere is like a football match with a thousand people watching.
Disneyland is a fantastic park with a lot of attractions, but I prefer Tower of Terror because it’s the scariest.
With love.
Sanaa.
SVP pouvez vous me corriger les fautes? et merci
Message de kool posté le 09-01-2010 à 12:39:47 (S | E | F)
bonjour. la prof d'anglais nous a demandé d'écrire un lettre à une amie où je lui raconte ce que j'ai fait à disneyland et ce qui me reste à faire. voilà ce que j'ai écrit:
Dear Leila,
How are you? I am now at Disneyland, a big and a great park, shows and attractions of this magical place combine beauty and dreams.
I have just been at Tower of Terror, accessible to children from 1 meter 02. It’s an old hotel where the events are inspired by a legend. Visitors entering the attraction are taken into a library to watch a movie summarizing this story, and then they visit the hotel and go into a lift where they are transported to the 13th floor and the elevator had a fall of ten floors. It was really scary. I have already been in two attractions: The first is one of the most famous attractions of Disney Parks; it’s Pirates of the Caribbean: the attraction that inspired the film of the same name. Sets very realistic and detailed, a perfect Sound track, it’s a cruise where we discover the world of pirates. The second is Adventure Isle. It isn’t really an attraction, but rather a series of trails, bridges and caves to explore with a group.
After a small break in the park’s café, I‘ll visit Stunt Spectacular. It’s a very exciting attraction because you see how do they do movie stunts. The atmosphere is like a football match with a thousand people watching.
Disneyland is a fantastic park with a lot of attractions, but I prefer Tower of Terror because it’s the scariest.
With love.
Sanaa.
SVP pouvez vous me corriger les fautes? et merci
Réponse: Disneyland-correction de gerondif, postée le 09-01-2010 à 15:58:48 (S | E)
Bonjour
Peu d'erreurs dans ce texte, la partie centrale semble être extraite d'une brochure, donc sans fautes.
Dear Leila,
How are you? I am now at Disneyland, a big and a great park (a great big park sera plus léger).The shows and attractions of this magical place combine beauty and dreams.(il faut mettre the car vous définissez avec of)
I have just been at Tower of Terror, accessible to children from 1 meter 02(20?). It’s an old hotel where the events are inspired by a legend. Visitors entering the attraction are taken into a library to watch a movie summarizing this story(legend sera plus clair pour le lecteur), and then they visit the hotel and go into a lift where they are transported to the 13th floor and the elevator had(pourquoi passer au prétérit quand le début de la phrase est au présent? Restez au present de narration.) a fall of ten floors. It was really scary. I have already been in two attractions: The first is one of the most famous attractions of Disney Parks; it’s Pirates of the Caribbean: the attraction that inspired the film of the same name. Sets very realistic and detailed, a perfect Sound track, it’s a cruise where we discover the world of pirates. The second is Adventure Isle (island irait mieux si on se souvient du titre du roman: Treasure Island). It isn’t really an attraction, but rather a series of trails, bridges and caves to explore with a group.
After a small break in the park’s café, I‘ll visit Stunt Spectacular. It’s a very exciting attraction because you see how do they do (pas de forme interrogative en style indirect)movie stunts. The atmosphere is like a football match with a thousand people watching.
Disneyland is a fantastic park with a lot of attractions, but I prefer Tower of Terror because it’s the scariest.
With love.
Sanaa.
Le reste est bien.
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