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Description of Paris/correction
Message de vretailleau posté le 31-01-2010 à 16:07:05 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous !
Voilà je dois faire pour demain un petit oral sur une description de lieu; j'ai choisi Paris. Voilà ce que j'ai fait.
Merci de me donner un petit coup de pouce, ce serait sympa ;)
Hi,
I'm going to talk about Paris.
It's situated in France.
As you can see on the picture, there is a eiffel tower.
It's open 365 days per years and receive 7 millions visitors per years.
If the tower began its life as an attraction, in the 1920s it became a symbol of modernity.
I've chosen to talk about this place because I like it and I think is good idea for attract people.
I went there often but I would like to there all the time.
That's all !
Désolé pour les fautes ...
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Modifié par lucile83 le 31-01-2010 16:15
Message de vretailleau posté le 31-01-2010 à 16:07:05 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous !
Voilà je dois faire pour demain un petit oral sur une description de lieu; j'ai choisi Paris. Voilà ce que j'ai fait.
Merci de me donner un petit coup de pouce, ce serait sympa ;)
Hi,
I'm going to talk about Paris.
It's situated in France.
As you can see on the picture, there is a eiffel tower.
It's open 365 days per years and receive 7 millions visitors per years.
If the tower began its life as an attraction, in the 1920s it became a symbol of modernity.
I've chosen to talk about this place because I like it and I think is good idea for attract people.
I went there often but I would like to there all the time.
That's all !
Désolé pour les fautes ...
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 31-01-2010 16:15
Réponse: Description of Paris/correction de vretailleau, postée le 31-01-2010 à 17:06:11 (S | E)
Help me please !
Réponse: Description of Paris/correction de gerondif, postée le 31-01-2010 à 17:17:07 (S | E)
bonjour,
Réduire Paris à la Tour Eiffel ne sera peut-être pas bien perçu au niveau inspiration dans votre oral qui durera à peine trente secondes vu la longueur du texte.
Hi,
I'm going to talk about Paris.
It's situated in France. (super platitude!)
As you can see on the picture, there is a eiffel tower.(une tour eiffel ? La Tour Eiffel !)
It's open 365 days per years (expression: 24 hours a day, five days a week, twelve months a year, pour dire par jour, par an) and receive(3eme personne du présent) 7 millions (adj invariable) visitors per years.
If the tower began its life as an attraction, in the 1920s it became a symbol of modernity.
I've chosen to talk about this place because I like it and I think it is good idea for(pour + verbe) attract people.
I went there often but I would like to be there all the time. ( Tâchez d'étoffer un peu, cette dernière phrase est bien pauvre, et conclure avec "that's all" là-dessus est déprimant)
That's all !
Réponse: Description of Paris/correction de lucile83, postée le 31-01-2010 à 17:20:59 (S | E)
Hello,
Don't worry, be happy !
Hi,
I'm going to talk about Paris.
It's located in France.
As you can see on the picture,
It's open 365 days per years and it receives 7 millions visitors per years.
If the tower began its life as an attraction, in the 1920s it became a symbol of modernity.
I've chosen to talk about this place because I like it and I think it is a good idea for attract people.
I went there often
That's all !
En vert = corrections faites
En rouge = corrections à faire
Best wishes.
Réponse: Description of Paris/correction de vretailleau, postée le 31-01-2010 à 18:00:22 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour vos réponses!
Je vais tâcher de prendre en compte les conseils que vous m'avez donnés.
Merci encore
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Modifié par lucile83 le 01-02-2010 21:35
Réponse: Description of Paris/correction de epinay, postée le 01-02-2010 à 19:18:28 (S | E)
Hello Gerondif
Sorry but I find that it is good that he made a text, thus you should not discourage the members, and when it is long nobody answers.
The beginners like me need to begin with small texts because we have not
Best WishesEpinay
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Modifié par lucile83 le 01-02-2010 21:33
Réponse: Description of Paris/correction de gerondif, postée le 01-02-2010 à 19:50:21 (S | E)
Hello, Epinay
Thank you for your opinion. I wouldn't have written those comments if the narrator had been 11, 12 or 13 years old, but I consider that a seventeen-year-old pupil old enough to take an exam like "le bac" should be able to be a little bit more inspired. If nobody tells him that what he did might be a bit too short when he takes the floor, how will he know ?
On the other hand , I would agree with you that it's better to read and correct a personal production rather than the electronically translated texts that have been flourishing lately.
I don't consider I despise or discourage people, though.
Réponse: Description of Paris/correction de epinay, postée le 01-02-2010 à 20:40:09 (S | E)
Hello Gerondif
I did not irritate you,I was afraid and I apologize for it, because seen in this way you are right.I admit that
Thank you.Epinay
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Modifié par lucile83 le 01-02-2010 21:35
"I did not irritate you,I was afraid" ...what do you mean? sorry but I don't understand.
Réponse: Description of Paris/correction de epinay, postée le 06-02-2010 à 00:36:06 (S | E)
Hello BridgI'd like just to say, without wanting to offend him , I was afraid by the remark, which can prevent me (empêcher)or rather I will not dare to make small
text, as I begin I was impressed.
Sorry to have to express my opinion in this way, I have not enough vocabulary,
but it is that happiness to make it with you all.
Thank you.
Regards
Epinay
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