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Luncheon
Message de jodimoi posté le 22-02-2010 à 16:42:54 (S | E | F)
Hello,
Je souhaiterais votre aide pour le résumé que j'ai fais pour la rentrée. Merci par avance.
A young writer invited a lady who wanted to discuss with him on of the books he has written. He proposed to meet her at Foyot's on Thursday at half past eleven. The restaurant was very expensive. Regardless, he wanted to impress
her. He had only eighty francs, he wished that the luncheon didn't cost more than fifteen.
The lady was very existing to lunch in the prestigious restaurant. She said "I ate only one thing for lunch". However she ordered a salmon, followed it up with caviar and some champagne, she claimed it was very good for her digestion.
She asked for some asparagus. She repeated several time, she ate only one thing. The young writer nearly had a hear attack. He knew he couldn't afford caviar. The ordered for himself the cheapest dish, that was a mutton chop. She talked a lot of with blithely the literature and music. In the end, she ordered a ice cream and coffee. he ordered just coffee. The waiter came hypocritically with a basket of huge peaches, she took one for a snack.
He paid the bill and he gave a little tip at the waiter only three francs. He knew he had nothing for the rest of the month. He said at the lady, he didn't eat to night. She thought he joked. A while, the lady became very big. She weights twenty one stone.
Message de jodimoi posté le 22-02-2010 à 16:42:54 (S | E | F)
Hello,
Je souhaiterais votre aide pour le résumé que j'ai fais pour la rentrée. Merci par avance.
A young writer invited a lady who wanted to discuss with him on of the books he has written. He proposed to meet her at Foyot's on Thursday at half past eleven. The restaurant was very expensive. Regardless, he wanted to impress
her. He had only eighty francs, he wished that the luncheon didn't cost more than fifteen.
The lady was very existing to lunch in the prestigious restaurant. She said "I ate only one thing for lunch". However she ordered a salmon, followed it up with caviar and some champagne, she claimed it was very good for her digestion.
She asked for some asparagus. She repeated several time, she ate only one thing. The young writer nearly had a hear attack. He knew he couldn't afford caviar. The ordered for himself the cheapest dish, that was a mutton chop. She talked a lot of with blithely the literature and music. In the end, she ordered a ice cream and coffee. he ordered just coffee. The waiter came hypocritically with a basket of huge peaches, she took one for a snack.
He paid the bill and he gave a little tip at the waiter only three francs. He knew he had nothing for the rest of the month. He said at the lady, he didn't eat to night. She thought he joked. A while, the lady became very big. She weights twenty one stone.
Réponse: Luncheon de laure95, postée le 22-02-2010 à 18:17:18 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Voici ce que tu dois corriger:
A young writer invited a lady who wanted to discuss with him on of the books he has written (concordance des temps: past perfect). He proposed to meet her at Foyot's on Thursday at half past eleven. The restaurant was very expensive. Regardless, he wanted to impress
her. He had only eighty francs, he wished that the luncheon didn't cost (même problème: utiliser le conditionnel) more than fifteen.
The lady was very existing (mettre le participe passé) to lunch in the prestigious restaurant. She said 'I ate (problème de temps:pourquoi le prétérit?) only one thing for lunch'. However she ordered a salmon, followed it up with (then some) caviar and some champagne, she claimed it was very good for her digestion.
She asked for some asparagus. She repeated several time (pluriel), she ate only one thing. The young writer nearly had a hear attack. He knew he couldn't afford caviar. The ordered for himself the cheapest dish, that (un autre) was a mutton chop. She talked a lot of with blithely the literature and music. In the end, she ordered a (revoir la règle A et AN) ice cream and coffee. he ordered just a coffee. The waiter came hypocritically with a basket of huge peaches, she took one for a snack.
He paid the bill and he gave a little tip at the waiter (mettre 
only three francs. He knew he had (conditionnel) nothing for the rest of the month. He said at the lady, he didn't eat (conditionnel) to night (en 1 seul mot). She thought he joked (prétérit progressif). A while, ? the lady became very big. She weights (temps + orthographe) twenty one stone ?.
Bon courage pour les corrections!
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Modifié par bridg le 22-02-2010 18:49
Retrait des réponses données.
Réponse: Luncheon de piquoc, postée le 23-02-2010 à 09:42:29 (S | E)
Bonjour; j'ajoute quelques idées . . .
A young writer invited a lady who wanted to discuss with him on (one?) of the books he has written (concordance des temps: past perfect). He proposed to meet her at Foyot's on Thursday at half past eleven. The restaurant was very expensive. Regardless, he wanted to impress
her. He had only eighty francs, he wished (hoped)that the luncheon didn't cost (même problème: utiliser le conditionnel) more than fifteen.
The lady was very existing (I think you have entirely the wrong verb here: existing? Doesn't make any sense to me)(mettre le participe passé) to lunch in the prestigious restaurant. She said 'I ate (problème de temps:pourquoi le prétérit?) only one thing for lunch'. However she ordered a salmon, (an entire salmon? head, tail, eyes . . .? No, just "salmon") followed it up with (even in England, we would say "followed it up with")(then some) caviar and some champagne, she claimed it was very good for her digestion.
She asked for some asparagus. She repeated several time (pluriel), she ate only one thing. The young writer nearly had a hear attack. He knew he couldn't afford caviar. The ordered for himself the cheapest dish, (word order: He ordered the cheapest dish for himself) that (which) was a mutton chop. She talked a lot of with blithely the literature and music. In the end, she ordered a (revoir la règle A et AN) ice cream and coffee. he ordered just a coffee. The waiter came hypocritically (what exactly do you mean by this word? It doesn't make sense, to this British English speaker, in this context)with a basket of huge peaches, she took one for a snack.
He paid the bill and he gave a little tip at the waiter (mettre only three francs. He knew he had (conditionnel) nothing for the rest of the month. He said at the lady, he didn't eat (conditionnel) to night (en 1 seul mot). She thought he joked (prétérit progressif). A while, ? the lady became very big. She weights (temps + orthographe) twenty one stone ?.
Bonne chance!
Réponse: Luncheon de jodimoi, postée le 23-02-2010 à 11:55:05 (S | E)
Hello,
Merci beaucoup pour votre aide. Voici ma correstion.
A young writer invited a lady who wanted to discuss with him one of the books he had written. He proposed to meet her at Foyot's on Thursday at half past eleven. The restaurant was very expensive. Regardless, he wanted to impress
her. He had only eighty francs, he hoped that the luncheon couldn't cost more than fifteen.
The lady was very excited to lunch in the prestigious restaurant. She said "I eat only one thing for lunch". However she ordered a slice of salmon, then some caviar and champagne, she claimed it was very good for her digestion.
She asked for some asparagus. She repeated several times, she ate only one thing. The young writer nearly had a heart attack. He knew he couldn't afford caviar. He ordered the cheapest dish for himself, which was a mutton chop. She talked a lot of literature and music. In the end, she ordered an ice cream and a coffee. he ordered just a coffee. The waiter came up with a basket of huge peaches, she took one for a snack.
He paid the bill and he gave a little tip to the waiter only three francs. He knew he could nothing for the rest of the month. He said to the lady, he couldn't eat tonight. She thought he was joking . He heard then the lady became very big. She was twenty one weight.
Merci encore.
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Modifié par jodimoi le 24-02-2010 15:51
Réponse: Luncheon de piquoc, postée le 24-02-2010 à 10:08:54 (S | E)
Hello! Good efforts - loads of improvements. But I'm still concerned by your waiter who initially came "hypocritically" and who, now, comes "suave". Je ne comprends pas du tout ce que vous voulez dire ici. De toutes façons, en anglais la phrase The waiter came suave with a basket of huge peaches n'est pas bonne, parce que "suave" est un adjectif (donc, décrit un nom) tandis qu'ici, vous semblez vouloir l'utiliser comme adverbe.
Est-ce que vous voulez décrire la façon dont le serveur s'approche de la table? A votre place, j'oublierais tout adjectif/adverbe et me contenterais de dire "the waiter came up with a basket of huge peaches". A vous de décider.
Je vois aussi que votre dame est toujours "existed" ! Comme je vous ai déjà signalé, vous vous êtes trompée de verbe,ici, et pas du temps du verbe. to exist = exister.
Keep trying; you'll get there.
Réponse: Luncheon de jodimoi, postée le 24-02-2010 à 15:55:31 (S | E)
Hello Piquoc,
Merci infiniment pour votre aide.
A young writer invited a lady who wanted to discuss with him one of the books he had written. He proposed to meet her at Foyot's on Thursday at half past eleven. The restaurant was very expensive. Regardless, he wanted to impress
her. He had only eighty francs, he hoped that the luncheon couldn't cost more than fifteen.
The lady was very excited to lunch in the prestigious restaurant. She said "I eat only one thing for lunch". However she ordered a slice of salmon, then some caviar and champagne, she claimed it was very good for her digestion.
She asked for some asparagus. She repeated several times, she ate only one thing. The young writer nearly had a heart attack. He knew he couldn't afford caviar. He ordered the cheapest dish for himself, which was a mutton chop. She talked a lot of literature and music. In the end, she ordered an ice cream and a coffee. he ordered just a coffee. The waiter came up with a basket of huge peaches, she took one for a snack.
He paid the bill and he gave a little tip to the waiter only three francs. He knew he could nothing for the rest of the month. He said to the lady, he couldn't eat tonight. She thought he was joking . He heard then the lady became very big. She was twenty one weight.
Tanks again.
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Modifié par jodimoi le 24-02-2010 15:56
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