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Correction/Coutumes étrangères
Message de sylefmo posté le 22-04-2010 à 23:27:33 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, je suis actuellement lycéen, j'ai 17 ans, et j'avoue connaitre pas mal de soucis vis à vis de l'anglais. J'ai rarement eu des soucis pour comprendre des textes, les lire, mais je n'ai jamais vraiment réussi à écrire l'anglais.
Cette année, j'ai pu beaucoup progresser, mais j'ai encore beaucoup de lacunes, j'aimerais avoir votre avis sur cette petite composition (moins de 300 mots),et ainsi que vos conseils de correction.
J'ai essayé d'introduire un maximum de formulations qui structurent le texte et permettent d'engranger des points au bac.
Merci de m'aider.
Nowaday, nobody is sedentary. In fact, people need to journey around the world to discover other technologies, other customs and way of life. But is necessary to adopt the customs during his stay in the country. However can we draw benefits in this? Nevertheless, it seems to me that we mustn't!
Firstly, to begin with this issue, we can note the positive aspects. In fact, by trying foreign countries usage's, we learn a new way of life as well as a new history.
Next, a travel can be wait on a social submersion. To live fully his passage, nothing better than initiate himself at another culture.
Then, sometimes, the customs involve the state's law. When you visit their land, you can offend or disregard their customs and it is dangerous for you. Especially, in religious nations.
Similary, we don't forget our ethics because of custom's issues. We have already our own habits and when we visit the foreign country we can broadcast our ideology to aliens.
Further, the unknow can frigten somes people because of odd practice. That is to say, for instance, in some Asian countries, one of the customs is to eat insects and for an european may be disgusting.
Finnaly, Everybody knows the declaration of human rights althought it doesn't mean that all the world respects this. The right of women is controversial in Arab country. Tolerate this practice, it violated the freedom and human equality.
On the whole to put simply, I thnik that without knowledge of other customs that surround us is foolish. Indeed on the one hand we can find a wealth in each of them but on the other hand, this doesn't mean that we must aply every custom when visiting a foreign country.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 23-04-2010 07:58
+ titre
Message de sylefmo posté le 22-04-2010 à 23:27:33 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, je suis actuellement lycéen, j'ai 17 ans, et j'avoue connaitre pas mal de soucis vis à vis de l'anglais. J'ai rarement eu des soucis pour comprendre des textes, les lire, mais je n'ai jamais vraiment réussi à écrire l'anglais.Cette année, j'ai pu beaucoup progresser, mais j'ai encore beaucoup de lacunes, j'aimerais avoir votre avis sur cette petite composition (moins de 300 mots),
J'ai essayé d'introduire un maximum de formulations qui structurent le texte et permettent d'engranger des points au bac.
Merci de m'aider.
Nowaday, nobody is sedentary. In fact, people need to journey around the world to discover other technologies, other customs and way of life. But is necessary to adopt the customs during his stay in the country. However can we draw benefits in this? Nevertheless, it seems to me that we mustn't!Firstly, to begin with this issue, we can note the positive aspects. In fact, by trying foreign countries usage's, we learn a new way of life as well as a new history.
Next, a travel can be wait on a social submersion. To live fully his passage, nothing better than initiate himself at another culture.
Then, sometimes, the customs involve the state's law. When you visit their land, you can offend or disregard their customs and it is dangerous for you. Especially, in religious nations.
Similary, we don't forget our ethics because of custom's issues. We have already our own habits and when we visit the foreign country we can broadcast our ideology to aliens.
Further, the unknow can frigten somes people because of odd practice. That is to say, for instance, in some Asian countries, one of the customs is to eat insects and for an european may be disgusting.
Finnaly, Everybody knows the declaration of human rights althought it doesn't mean that all the world respects this. The right of women is controversial in Arab country. Tolerate this practice, it violated the freedom and human equality.
On the whole to put simply, I thnik that without knowledge of other customs that surround us is foolish. Indeed on the one hand we can find a wealth in each of them but on the other hand, this doesn't mean that we must aply every custom when visiting a foreign country.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 23-04-2010 07:58
+ titre
Réponse: Correction/Coutumes étrangères de notrepere, postée le 23-04-2010 à 03:43:16 (S | E)
Hello: (Attention: je suis débutant en français, désolé pour les fautes!)Nowaday (orthographe), nobody is sedentary. In fact, people need to journey around the world to discover other technologies, other customs and way (orthographe) of life. But [?] is necessary to adopt the customs [ ] during his (mal dit) stay in the country ((c'est une question ou une affirmation?). However, can we draw benefits in (mal dit) this? Nevertheless, it seems to me that we mustn't! (Que tu veux dire? Dis-moi en français et puis je peux comprendre)
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Modifié par notrepere le 23-04-2010 18:40
Réponse: Correction/Coutumes étrangères de sylefmo, postée le 23-04-2010 à 13:30:58 (S | E)
C'est une question effectivement.
Pour ce que tu n'as pas compris:
"Pour autant, je ne suis pas de cet avis" en gros.
Réponse: Correction/Coutumes étrangères de notrepere, postée le 23-04-2010 à 18:16:32 (S | E)
Hello:Je comprends. Voilà!
However, I am not of this opinion.
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Firstly, to begin (utilise "firstly" ou "to begin with" mais pas les deux
Next, a travel can be wait on a social submersion. To live fully his passage, nothing better than initiate himself at another culture. Je ne comprends pas cette phrase
Then [In addition], [sometimes, the customs involve the state's law] [sometimes there are laws that govern a country's customs or they may have religious significance]. When you visit their land, you can offend or disregard their customs and it is [could be] dangerous for you
Réponse: Correction/Coutumes étrangères de sylefmo, postée le 23-04-2010 à 21:41:24 (S | E)
Thanks notrepere to your partial correction !
"Next, a travel can be wait on a social submersion. To live fully his passage, nothing better than initiate himself at another culture."
De plus, un voyage peut nous permette de s'immerger dans une société. Pour vivre pleinement ce voyage, rien de mieux que de s'initier aux autres cultures.
En espérant, que vous compreniez mieux! Merci pour votre aide, j'ai effectivement fait quelques erreurs, je vais revoir d'autres leçon histoire de bien comprendre ces erreurs!
Encore merci!
Réponse: Correction/Coutumes étrangères de notrepere, postée le 23-04-2010 à 23:44:50 (S | E)
Hello:
De plus, un voyage peut nous permette de s'immerger dans une société. Pour vivre pleinement ce voyage, rien de mieux que de s'initier aux autres cultures.
De plus = In addition
permettre = to allow, permit
s'immerger = to immerse yourself
Pour vivre pleinement ce voyage = To experience a journey fully,
s'initier = to initiate yourself
aux autres cultures = in other cultures
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Modifié par notrepere le 23-04-2010 23:45
Réponse: Correction/Coutumes étrangères de sylefmo, postée le 24-04-2010 à 18:16:58 (S | E)
Encore merci pour toute ton aide, je continu mon brouillon avec tes indications et je comprends mes quelques erreurs ! A vouloir faire trop compliquer j'arrive a me faire avoir !
Pouvez vous m'aidez pour la seconde partie ainsi que ma conclusion ? Encore merci :D
Similary, we don't forget our ethics because of custom's issues. We have already our own habits and when we visit the foreign country we can broadcast our ideology to aliens.Further, the unknow can frigten somes people because of odd practice. That is to say, for instance, in some Asian countries, one of the customs is to eat insects and for an european may be disgusting.
Finnaly, Everybody knows the declaration of human rights althought it doesn't mean that all the world respects this. The right of women is controversial in Arab country. Tolerate this practice, it violated the freedom and human equality.
On the whole to put simply, I thnik that without knowledge of other customs that surround us is foolish. Indeed on the one hand we can find a wealth in each of them but on the other hand, this doesn't mean that we must aply every custom when visiting a foreign country.
Réponse: Correction/Coutumes étrangères de notrepere, postée le 24-04-2010 à 19:56:34 (S | E)
Hello:
Similary (orthographe), we don't shouldn't? can't? forget our ethics because of custom's issues a country's differing customs. We have already already have our own habits and when we visit the a foreign country we can broadcast our ideology to aliens share our ideology to foreigners .
Further, the unknow (orthographe) can frigten (orthographe) somes (orthographe) people because of odd practices. That is to say, for instance, in some Asian countries, one of the customs is to eat insects which for an European may be seem disgusting.
Finnaly (orthographe), everybody knows the declaration of human rights althought (orthographe) it doesn't mean that all the world respects this. The right of women is controversial in Arab country (plural). Tolerate (use infinitive form) this practice, it violated is a violation of the freedom and human equality.
On the whole to put simply, I thnik (spelling) think that without knowledge of other customs that surround us is foolish. Indeed on the one hand we can find a wealth in each of them but on the other hand, this doesn't mean that we must aply (spelling) every custom when visiting a foreign country.
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