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What would your ideal school be like ?
Message de cheikh posté le 30-04-2010 à 15:19:02 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à vous tous je m'appele cheikh. J'ai un essai que j'ai rédigé et si vous pouviez me consacrer un peu de votre temps afin de me corriger pour avoir une bonne note.
Merci d'avance de bien vouloir m'aider
This schools is a place to learn.
The question is to know what my ideal school would be like.
First ,I going to tell you what I like and dislike about newton , and finally we are going to see what my ideal school would be like .
First and formest , I like my high school.
She is big ,white building very beautiful and simple of movement.
Secondly , I do not have school Saturdays and Wednesday afternoons .
I can to rest me the mind , Go in for sport , to see again the course and to do homework at the advance .
Last but not least , some teachers like teaching explain very well and slowly their course because they want to give us a future .
Firstly , I not using my mobile in the playground .
I is enough responsible to keep my mobile and one days in more she can be an very urgent call.
Next, I schools begins to early .
Often I do not still manage to organize my time .
Last but not least , they hurt work because my future I do not interest them.
To begin with ,where I would like to learn.
I would like to learn in my home home because I can concentrate me and I am happy.
Secondly , I would like a timetable's and so I could get organized .
Lastly , I would like teachers at home .
I could better understand and so I learn a lot of .
To sum up ,we told my comfort to acquire a big knowledge .
To my mind it's impossible to have my ideal school and so I have to adapt myself .
Message de cheikh posté le 30-04-2010 à 15:19:02 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à vous tous je m'appele cheikh. J'ai un essai que j'ai rédigé et si vous pouviez me consacrer un peu de votre temps afin de me corriger pour avoir une bonne note.
Merci d'avance de bien vouloir m'aider
This schools is a place to learn.
The question is to know what my ideal school would be like.
First ,I going to tell you what I like and dislike about newton , and finally we are going to see what my ideal school would be like .
First and formest , I like my high school.
She is big ,white building very beautiful and simple of movement.
Secondly , I do not have school Saturdays and Wednesday afternoons .
I can to rest me the mind , Go in for sport , to see again the course and to do homework at the advance .
Last but not least , some teachers like teaching explain very well and slowly their course because they want to give us a future .
Firstly , I not using my mobile in the playground .
I is enough responsible to keep my mobile and one days in more she can be an very urgent call.
Next, I schools begins to early .
Often I do not still manage to organize my time .
Last but not least , they hurt work because my future I do not interest them.
To begin with ,where I would like to learn.
I would like to learn in my home home because I can concentrate me and I am happy.
Secondly , I would like a timetable's and so I could get organized .
Lastly , I would like teachers at home .
I could better understand and so I learn a lot of .
To sum up ,we told my comfort to acquire a big knowledge .
To my mind it's impossible to have my ideal school and so I have to adapt myself .
Réponse: What would your ideal school be like ? de cheikh, postée le 30-04-2010 à 17:33:24 (S | E)
de m'aider Réponse: What would your ideal school be like ? de lucile83, postée le 30-04-2010 à 21:08:21 (S | E)
Hello,
This schools is a nice place to learn.
The question is to know what my ideal school would be like.
First ,I .... going to tell you what I like and dislike about Newton , and finally we are going to see what my ideal school would be like .
I'll come back later.
Réponse: What would your ideal school be like ? de may, postée le 01-05-2010 à 03:43:45 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
First and formest , I like my high school.
She(un autre sujet) is big ,white building very beautiful( placé tous les adjectifs avant le nom building) and simple of movement ( vous voulez dire quoi d'ici?)
Secondly , I do not have school(classes?)( need a préposition) Saturdays and Wednesday afternoons
I can to rest me the mind (rephrase SUJET+VERBE+OBJET) , Go in for(use another verb) sport , to see again the course and to do homework at the(autre préposition) advance ( essayer de diriger cette phrase une autre façon)
Last but not least , some teachers (like teaching) explain very well and slowly(besoin d'une verbe) their course because they want to give us a future
Essayer de le corriger et je vais continuer après.
Bonne chance
Réponse: What would your ideal school be like ? de cheikh, postée le 01-05-2010 à 12:58:05 (S | E)
J'ai essayé de corrigé avec votre aide.
First and foremost , I like my high school.
It is a big , very beautiful and white building .
Secondly , I needn't courses Saturdays and Wednesday afternoons .
I can relax me,to see again the course and to do homework to advance.
Last but not least , some teachers, like teaching explain very well and slowly because they want to give us a future .
merci beaucoup pour l'aide que vous m'apportez.
Réponse: What would your ideal school be like ? de lucile83, postée le 01-05-2010 à 14:34:55 (S | E)
Hello,
Firstly , I not using my mobile in the playground .
I is enough...place de enough responsible to keep my mobile and one days in more she can be an very urgent call. phrase un peu bizarre
Next, I schools begins to ..que voulez-vous dire? early .
Last but not least , they hurt work because my future I do not interest them.
Il y a des phrases bizarres; avez-vous utilisé un traducteur automatique?
Regards.
Réponse: What would your ideal school be like ? de may, postée le 01-05-2010 à 14:59:15 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Voulez vous corriger le début de votre texte ( Lucile a déjà modifié)
First and foremost (foremost a le même sense que first or firstly. Besoin de le répèter?) , I like my high school.
It is
Secondly , I needn't don't have courses on Saturdays (pas de s) and Wednesday afternoons .
I can relax me myself ,to see again
Last but not least , some (choisir un autre mot) teachers,(no commas here)
Firstly ( ( pourquoi encore?) , I verbe to be not using my mobile in the playground .
I It is enough responsible to keep my mobile inactive? with me? and one days in more
Next, I schools begins to early . (pas de sense d'ici)
Often I do not still manage to organize my time .
Last but not least , they hurt work because my future I do not interest them.
( essayer plus fort pour d'avoir plus de sense )
Bon courage
Lucile est la -------------------
Modifié par may le 01-05-2010 15:01
Réponse: What would your ideal school be like ? de lucile83, postée le 01-05-2010 à 15:45:12 (S | E)
Pas de souci may ! à 2 on voit mieux les fautes
Réponse: What would your ideal school be like ? de cheikh, postée le 01-05-2010 à 22:09:52 (S | E)
j'ai utilisé le traducteur automatique et un peu le dictionnaire.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 01-05-2010 22:40
Réponse: What would your ideal school be like ? de lucile83, postée le 01-05-2010 à 22:47:51 (S | E)
Hello,
Merci pour votre franchise; mais c'est stupide car vous faites des fautes impossibles à faire si vous réfléchissez un peu.
To begin with ,where I would like to learn ?
I would like to learn in my home
Secondly , I would like to have a timetable
Lastly , I would like teachers at home .
I could better understand understand better and so I will learn a lot
To sum up ,we told my comfort ???? to acquire a big knowledge .
To my mind it's impossible to have my ideal school and so I have to adapt myself .
Reprenez tout cela avec seulement un dictionnaire et un livre de grammaire éventuellement, et laissez tomber les traducteurs automatiques.
Best wishes.
Réponse: What would your ideal school be like ? de cheikh, postée le 01-05-2010 à 23:58:24 (S | E)
J'ai essayé d'améliorer ou de corriger mes fautes avec vos aides. Merci !
This school is a nice place to learn.
The question is to know what my ideal school would be like.
First ,I will going to tell you what I like and dislike about Newton , and finally we are going to see what my ideal school would be like .
First , I like my high school.
It is a big , very beautiful big, white building .
Secondly , I needn't don't have courses on Saturday and Wednesday afternoons .
I can relax me myself ,to see again review the course and to do homework do my homework to in advance.
Last but not least , some (choisir un autre mot)lequelle? teachers explain very well and slowly , because they want to give us a future .
Firstly ( ( pourquoi encore?) (c'est pour marquer le début d'un nouveau paragraphe) , I am not using my mobile in the playground .
I do not like it to keep my mobile and maybe one day in more she can be an very urgent call.
Often,I do not still manage to organize my time yet.
Last but not least , they wrong work because my future I do not interest them.
To begin with ,I would like to learn ,in my house because I can concentrate and I am happy.
Secondly , I would like to have a timetable and so I could get organized .
Lastly , I would like teachers at home .
I could understand better and so I will learn a lot .
To sum up ,we want of the comfort to acquire a big knowledge .
To my mind it's impossible to have my ideal school and so I have to adapt myself .
Réponse: What would your ideal school be like ? de lucile83, postée le 02-05-2010 à 08:48:36 (S | E)
Hello,
En rouge ou barré = faux
En bleu = corrections
Vous répétiez trop souvent 'en premier/pour commencer' etc...vous devez le dire 1 fois puis continuer, en second,3e etc...ou ensuite/après etc..
J'espère avoir vu tout ce qui n'allait pas
Best wishes.
This school is a nice place to learn.
The question is to know what my ideal school would be like.
First ,I will going am going to tell you what I like and dislike about Newton High School , and finally we are going to we'll see what my ideal school would be like .
First , I like my high school.
It is a big , very beautiful
Secondly , I needn't
I can relax
Last but not least ,
I do not like
Often,I do not
Last but not least , they wrong work because my future I do not interest them....je ne comprends pas
Secondly , I would like to have a timetable and so I could get organized .
Lastly , I would like to have teachers at home .
I could understand better and so I will learn a lot .
To sum up ,we I want of the comfort to feel comfortable to acquire a big large knowledge .
To my mind it's impossible to have my ideal school and
Réponse: What would your ideal school be like ? de cheikh, postée le 02-05-2010 à 09:40:43 (S | E)
Merci
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 02-05-2010 09:44
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