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Prehistory
Message de nuyoricaine posté le 12-05-2010 à 18:04:45 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, est-ce que quelqu'un pourrait me dire quelles sont mes fautes s'il vous plait.
I'm alone, in the middle of nowhere so I walk to find someone or a place to go. I walk for a while and pick-up some fruits to eat. Later, while i'm walking i hear a sound : It is a group a prehistorical men. At first, they seem to be surprised to see me, I think I'm a sort of animal for them but then, they become a little frightening. They wear animals skin, they have long hair, beard, they don't smell good and to finish they have spears. We look at each other for a while. I'm a little afraid, I don't know what to do nor say. They haven't a real language. They just produce strange sounds so to soften them up, I give them a fruit. The chief (I guess) smile and invite me in their cavern. We walke all day long, the cavern is at the top of a mountain. In that cavern, there are just a fire in the middle, food, some tools they made and beautiful paintings on the wall. It is dark and cold. Then I'm going hunting with them. I spend the all day doing what they used to do. They also learn me to make fire, to paint animals... At night I have to sleep on the floor and wash myself in a river but it's neither here nor there.
merci
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Modifié par kolimang le 12-05-2010 23:15
Message de nuyoricaine posté le 12-05-2010 à 18:04:45 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, est-ce que quelqu'un pourrait me dire quelles sont mes fautes s'il vous plait.
I'm alone, in the middle of nowhere so I walk to find someone or a place to go. I walk for a while and pick-up some fruits to eat. Later, while i'm walking i hear a sound : It is a group a prehistorical men. At first, they seem to be surprised to see me, I think I'm a sort of animal for them but then, they become a little frightening. They wear animals skin, they have long hair, beard, they don't smell good and to finish they have spears. We look at each other for a while. I'm a little afraid, I don't know what to do nor say. They haven't a real language. They just produce strange sounds so to soften them up, I give them a fruit. The chief (I guess) smile and invite me in their cavern. We walke all day long, the cavern is at the top of a mountain. In that cavern, there are just a fire in the middle, food, some tools they made and beautiful paintings on the wall. It is dark and cold. Then I'm going hunting with them. I spend the all day doing what they used to do. They also learn me to make fire, to paint animals... At night I have to sleep on the floor and wash myself in a river but it's neither here nor there.
merci
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Modifié par kolimang le 12-05-2010 23:15
Réponse: Prehistory de kolimang, postée le 12-05-2010 à 23:56:11 (S | E)
Bonjour nuyoricaine,
I walk (1re phrase) : j'utiliserais un autre temps
I walk (2e phrase) : idem
It is a group a prehistorical men.
they don't smell good and to finish they have spears.
They haven't a real language. --> cette négation est la négation de l'auxiliaire "have", or ici tu n'as aucun verbe principal pour accompagner l'auxiliaire. Tu as deux possibilités de correction : soit remplacer "haven't" par la négation correcte du verbe principal "have" en utilisant l'auxiliaire "do", soit conserver l'auxiliaire "haven't" et ajouter "got" comme verbe principal.
The chief (I guess) smile and invite (accords) me in their cavern.
We walke all day long, the cavern is at the top of a mountain.
I spend the all day doing what they used to do. Si tu utilises "what they used to do", il me semble que tu fais référence à quelque chose de passé par rapport au moment où tu parles, donc il y a un problème.
They also learn me to make fire, to paint animals... -> "learn" s'utilise pour dire "apprendre (de qqn/qqch)", c'est-à-dire que le sujet du verbe "learn" est celui qui reçoit l'enseignement, mais pas pour dire "apprendre (à qqn)".
Je laisse d'autres compléter ou me corriger si j'ai dit des bêtises.
Réponse: Prehistory de notrepere, postée le 13-05-2010 à 00:27:17 (S | E)
Hello!I'm alone, in the middle of nowhere so I walk to find someone or a place to go.
I don't see any problem with the verb tense of "walk". You might change "a place" to "someplace".
...so I walk to find someone or someplace to go.
I walk for a while and pick-up some fruits to eat. (no hyphen)
At first, they seem to be surprised to see me,[.]
I think I'm a sort of animal for them but then, they become a little frightening. They wear animals skin, they have long hair, beard (plural), [and] they don't smell good...
They haven't a real language (as kolimang said).[,] they just produce strange sounds[.] So to soften them up, I give them a fruit.
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Modifié par notrepere le 13-05-2010 00:29
Réponse: Prehistory de nuyoricaine, postée le 13-05-2010 à 13:02:14 (S | E)
Thank you so much
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