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Some Help for a Cover Letter

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Some Help for a Cover Letter
Message from lapniou posted on 29-08-2010 at 12:36:45 (D | E | F)
Hi everybody,
I'm a student and I'm looking for some help to do write my cover letter in order to apply for my school's exchange programme.
First I don't know how I'll introduce the letter. I have written Subject : Application for but the question is application for what ? Could I write something like "Application for students exchange program" or something like that, knowing the letter is designated for my university partner ?
Moreover I've got a question about a sentence. What is the grammatically correct :
"Discovering a news country is a first step to gain in independence to make decision and taking actions such a professional plan than a / at a / on a personal plan ?
Thanks for your help !
-------------------
Edited by lucile83 on 29-08-2010 12:45


Re: Some Help for a Cover Letter from lucile83, posted on 29-08-2010 at 12:44:59 (D | E)
Hello,
Here are some examples you may think interesting and useful:
Lien Internet

About your question:
"Discovering a new country is a first step to gain independence in order to make decisions and take actions on a professional plan as well as on a personal plan.
Best wishes.


Re: Some Help for a Cover Letter from benboom, posted on 29-08-2010 at 13:22:44 (D | E)

Discovering a news country is a first step to gain in independence to make decision and taking actions such a professional plan than a / at a / on a personal plan
I'm not even sure what you mean by that. However, there's a much easier way to say that:
Learning about a new country is a first step towards independence, professional or personal.
I think it's always better to write simply, but it is hard, especially when you are new to a language.
Good luck!


Re: Some Help for a Cover Letter from lucile83, posted on 29-08-2010 at 14:11:43 (D | E)
benboom,
It's much shorter !


Re: Some Help for a Cover Letter from may, posted on 29-08-2010 at 15:36:44 (D | E)
Hello,
Learning about a new country is a first step towards independence, professional or personal.
Yours is good, but it definitely changed the idea of the original sentence which is
Discovering a news country is a first step to gain in independence to make decision and taking actions such a professional plan than a / at a / on a personal plan.
I am not quite sure about its meaning either, however I could guess and I prefer to put as Lucile:

"Discovering a new country is a first step to gain independence in order to make decisions and take actions on a professional plan as well as on a personal plan.

Then, here's mine:
Discovering a new country is a first step toward independence to make decisions and to take actions on personal and professional plan.
See you,
-------------------
Edited by may on 29-08-2010 15:37
P.S: Also, I may add if you were missing something in your phrase independence ( noun ) professional and personal ( adjectives )
-------------------


Re: Some Help for a Cover Letter from lapniou, posted on 29-08-2010 at 15:55:36 (D | E)
I have lots of choice .
Nice sentence mix may but I'll use Lucile's because hers sounds much more than my first thought.
I really appreciate your different examples (I hope,one day, I could do the same as you ;) )>


Re: Some Help for a Cover Letter from notrepere, posted on 30-08-2010 at 15:17:58 (D | E)
Hello may!
It is not uncommon for adjectives to be placed after a noun for effect. It means the same thing:
professional independence
personal independence
The comma is necessary to separate the adjectives from the noun, otherwise they would run together and the reader would not understand the meaning.
Cordialement


Re: Some Help for a Cover Letter from benboom, posted on 30-08-2010 at 17:17:33 (D | E)
Yes. One could also think of it as having an unspoken "whether it be" or "be it" in there:
Learning about a new country is a first step towards independence, professional or personal.
is the same as
Learning about a new country is a first step towards independence, whether it be professional or personal.
Those unspoken-but-understood conventions will kill you every time.


Re: Some Help for a Cover Letter from may, posted on 31-08-2010 at 03:36:21 (D | E)
Hello,
All agreed, notrepere ! This effect just made lapniou more confused then . However, when the sentence is built (without effect):
Learning about a new country is a first step towards personal or professional independence.. It obviously changed the idea of the original
Those unspoken-but-understood conventions will kill you every time.
Good night,
-------------------
Edited by lucile83 on 31-08-2010 08:27
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