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Correction lettre/Bac 2009
Message de youhou posté le 13-09-2010 à 19:27:06 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
est-ce que vous pouvez m'aider à améliorer cette lettre s'il vous plait ?
Merci.
C'est le sujet d'expression du bac de 2009 (Lien Internet
Langford,
Jannuary 05th 1985
Dear Mum and Dad,
I’m sorry I haven’t written to you for so long, time flies so fast here ! I hope you are both doing well.
For my part, everything is fine. I quickly met a few nice guys who introduced me to their friends groups, and they’re all very friendly. My roommate Daniel is in my class and I get on very well with him. He too is a Stephen king's fan, and we always help each other when one doesn’t get a lesson. Actually everyone here shows solidarity, there isn’t the nasty rivalry often present in good schools that I apprehended. The level is far better than in my former school in Winchester, so I have to work much harder, but it’s really worth it. The teachers are excellent, you can feel that they know what they’re talking about and that they’re interested in what they’re doing. Moreover, I think that if I keep on like that, I may have a chance to be accepted in an Ivy League College. And you know how much I’ve always dreamt to become a Brown student one day…
Beside, the campus is just awesome ! First, it is really beautiful. There is a huge lovely park where you can find squirrels sometimes. You’d love it Mum ! I like having a walk and resting there when the weather is nice. There is no such thing as reading a good book lying on the grass under the sunshine... We have loads of activities too : for instance we can play table tennis or go to the swimming pool whenever we want. There’re also a lot of sports competitions with other schools organized, and I’ve been selected to be in the swimming team !
Living without you is much easier than I expected. To be honest, I have so many things to do here that I never feel alone. Actually, I’m gonna meet friends now. Nice evening ahead !
Lots of love,
Amit.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 13-09-2010 19:36
+ titre
Message de youhou posté le 13-09-2010 à 19:27:06 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
est-ce que vous pouvez m'aider à améliorer cette lettre s'il vous plait ?
Merci.
C'est le sujet d'expression du bac de 2009 (Lien Internet
Langford,
Jannuary 05th 1985
Dear Mum and Dad,
I’m sorry I haven’t written to you for so long, time flies so fast here ! I hope you are both doing well.
For my part, everything is fine. I quickly met a few nice guys who introduced me to their friends groups, and they’re all very friendly. My roommate Daniel is in my class and I get on very well with him. He too is a Stephen king's fan, and we always help each other when one doesn’t get a lesson. Actually everyone here shows solidarity, there isn’t the nasty rivalry often present in good schools that I apprehended. The level is far better than in my former school in Winchester, so I have to work much harder, but it’s really worth it. The teachers are excellent, you can feel that they know what they’re talking about and that they’re interested in what they’re doing. Moreover, I think that if I keep on like that, I may have a chance to be accepted in an Ivy League College. And you know how much I’ve always dreamt to become a Brown student one day…
Beside, the campus is just awesome ! First, it is really beautiful. There is a huge lovely park where you can find squirrels sometimes. You’d love it Mum ! I like having a walk and resting there when the weather is nice. There is no such thing as reading a good book lying on the grass under the sunshine... We have loads of activities too : for instance we can play table tennis or go to the swimming pool whenever we want. There’re also a lot of sports competitions with other schools organized, and I’ve been selected to be in the swimming team !
Living without you is much easier than I expected. To be honest, I have so many things to do here that I never feel alone. Actually, I’m gonna meet friends now. Nice evening ahead !
Lots of love,
Amit.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 13-09-2010 19:36
+ titre
Réponse: Correction lettre/Bac 2009 de gerondif, postée le 14-09-2010 à 00:49:02 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
pas mal !!la seule chose que je vois à la lecture est la construction de to dream of + ing : I dream of becoming a pilot... le dictionnaire en ligne donne aussi about.
Réponse: Correction lettre/Bac 2009 de youhou, postée le 14-09-2010 à 07:16:38 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup je vais corriger ça :D
Réponse: Correction lettre/Bac 2009 de gerondif, postée le 14-09-2010 à 11:59:39 (S | E)
bonjour,
on second thoughts...
Langford,
Jannuary 05th 1985
Dear Mum and Dad,
I’m sorry I haven’t written to you for so long, time flies so fast here ! I hope you are both doing well.
For my part, everything is fine. I quickly met a few nice guys who introduced me to their friends groups(sonne bizarre, friends tout seul ou groups of friends), and they’re all very friendly. My roommate Daniel is in my class and I get on very well with him. He too is a Stephen king's fan, and we always help each other when one(sonne bizarre, préférer l'un d'ntre nous ou nous) doesn’t get a lesson. Actually everyone here shows solidarity, there isn’t the nasty rivalry often present in good schools that I apprehended. The level is far better than in my former school in Winchester, so I have to work much harder, but it’s really worth it. The teachers are excellent, you can feel that they know what they’re talking about and that they’re interested in what they’re doing. Moreover, I think that if I keep on like that, I may have a chance to be accepted in an Ivy League College. And you know how much I’ve always dreamt to become a Brown student one day…
Beside, the campus is just awesome ! First, it is really beautiful. There is a huge lovely(normalement, l'impression vient avant la taille) park where you can find squirrels sometimes. You’d love it Mum ! I like having a walk and resting there when the weather is nice. There is no such thing as reading a good book lying on the grass under the sunshine... We have loads of activities too : for instance we can play table tennis or go to the swimming-pool whenever we want(plutôt like, non ?). There’re also a lot of sports competitions with other schools organized, and I’ve been selected to be in the swimming team !
Living without you is much easier than I expected. To be honest, I have so many things to do here that I never feel alone. Actually, I’m gonna meet friends now. Nice evening ahead !
Lots of love,
Amit.
Réponse: Correction lettre/Bac 2009 de notrepere, postée le 15-09-2010 à 08:02:41 (S | E)
Hello!Dear Mum and Dad,
I’m sorry I haven’t written to you for so long, [mauvaise ponctuation ('comma splice')]; time flies so fast here[pas d'espace avant toute la ponctuation en anglais] ! I hope you are both doing well.
For my part, everything is fine. I quickly met a few nice guys who introduced me to their friends groups [bizarre: 'groups of friends' est mieux], and they’re all very friendly. My roommate Daniel is in my class and I get on very well with him. He too is a Stephen king's fan (Stephen King fan = a fan of Stephen King = a fan of the works of Stephen King but probably NOT Stephen King's fan = the personal fan of Stephen King himself = Stephen King knows you personally), and we always help each other when one doesn’t get [understandable, but 'understand' would be a better choice] a lesson. Actually, everyone here shows solidarity, and there isn’t the nasty rivalry which is often present in good schools that I apprehended (and which I was apprehensive about.) [le verbe 'to apprehend' ne convient pas. Il est très différent que l'adjectif 'apprehensive']. The level is far better (much higher) than in my former school in Winchester, so I have to work much harder, but it’s really worth it. The teachers are excellent, and you can feel that they know what they’re talking about and that they’re interested in what they’re doing. Moreover, I think that if I keep on like that, I may have a chance to be accepted in (of being accepted to) an Ivy League College. And you know how much I’ve always dreamt to become (of becoming) a Brown student one day…
Beside (Besides), the campus is just awesome! First, it is really beautiful. There is a huge lovely park where you can find squirrels sometimes. You’d love it Mum! I like having a walk and resting there when the weather is nice. There is no such thing as (nothing better than) reading a good book lying on the grass under the sunshine... We have loads of activities too. For instance, we can play table tennis or go to the swimming pool whenever we want. There’re (There's) also a lot of sports competitions with other schools organized (among other schools), and I’ve been selected to be in (on) the swimming team!
Living without you is much easier than I expected. To be honest, I have so many things to do here that I never feel alone. Actually, I’m gonna meet friends now. Nice evening ahead !
Lots of love,
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