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Investment - Correction
Message de manon0123 posté le 21-11-2010 à 20:40:57 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Pouvez-vous corriger mes fautes dans ce texte s'il vous plaît ?
Je vous remercie d'avance.
Why to invest in Apple ?
We think that it is interesting to invest in this firm because Apple is one the most innovative company in the world. Indeed, it is an [entreprise de pointe] in the sector 'High Tech' as the microcomputing or the mobile telephony.
It also played a major role in the distribution of innovations among the most striking of these last decades as the MP3 : Ipod (which was the first Apple product).
Moreover, we can see that the turnover of the company increase more and more every year. This is an important reason to invest in a company. Its more safe for your money.
After giving you a lot of reason to invest in this company, let's turn you're attention to the evolution of the share price.
On January 27th, Steven P. Jobs the CEO (Chief Executive Officer) of Apple announced for the first time the soon release of the Ipad. That's why the price of the share rose dramatically from $199.29 to $256.88, on May 28th : : the release of the Ipad. So, an increase of 24%.
The share of Apple was at its never reached maximum.
To support these arguments and confirm that it is good to invest in this healthy firm: we remind that currently every 3 seconds, all over the world, Apple sells an Ipad.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 21-11-2010 20:43
Message de manon0123 posté le 21-11-2010 à 20:40:57 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Pouvez-vous corriger mes fautes dans ce texte s'il vous plaît ?
Je vous remercie d'avance.
Why to invest in Apple ?
We think that it is interesting to invest in this firm because Apple is one the most innovative company in the world. Indeed, it is an [entreprise de pointe] in the sector 'High Tech' as the microcomputing or the mobile telephony.
It also played a major role in the distribution of innovations among the most striking of these last decades as the MP3 : Ipod (which was the first Apple product).
Moreover, we can see that the turnover of the company increase more and more every year. This is an important reason to invest in a company. Its more safe for your money.
After giving you a lot of reason to invest in this company, let's turn you're attention to the evolution of the share price.
On January 27th, Steven P. Jobs the CEO (Chief Executive Officer) of Apple announced for the first time the soon release of the Ipad. That's why the price of the share rose dramatically from $199.29 to $256.88, on May 28th : : the release of the Ipad. So, an increase of 24%.
The share of Apple was at its never reached maximum.
To support these arguments and confirm that it is good to invest in this healthy firm: we remind that currently every 3 seconds, all over the world, Apple sells an Ipad.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 21-11-2010 20:43
Réponse: Investment - Correction de laure95, postée le 22-11-2010 à 18:48:39 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Good job! Voici juste quelques petites choses à corriger:
Why to invest in Apple ?
We think that it is interesting to invest in this firm because Apple is one the most innovative company in the world. Indeed, it is an [entreprise de pointe] (proposez-nous une traduction) in the sector (pas à la bonne place) 'High Tech' as
It also played a major role in the distribution of innovations ? among the most striking of these last decades as the MP3 : Ipod (which was the first Apple product).
Moreover, we can see that the turnover of the company increase (conjugaison + j'utiliserais le présent BE+-ING) more and more every year. This is an important reason to invest in a company. Its (en 2 mots) more safe (revoir les règles du comparatif) for your money.
After giving you a lot of reason (pluriel) to invest in this company, let's turn you're (orthographe) attention to the evolution of the share price.
On January 27th, Steven P. Jobs the CEO (Chief Executive Officer) of Apple announced for the first time the soon release of the Ipad. That's why the price of the share rose dramatically from $199.29 to $256.88, on May 28th : : the release of the Ipad. So, an increase of 24%.
The share of Apple was at its never reached maximum.
To support these arguments and confirm that it is good to invest in this healthy firm: we remind that currently every 3 seconds, all over the world, Apple sells an Ipad.
Réponse: Investment - Correction de dsmith, postée le 23-11-2010 à 02:47:46 (S | E)
The iPod was not the first product from Apple. I think it was the Apple computer. Then the Apple II, Macintosh, etc.
...the soon release of the Ipad. This doesn't sound correct - I can't think of a rule to explain why. options - the upcoming release... or the near-term release...
...we remind that currently every 3 seconds... You must always say who you are reminding. I will remind him about his appointment. He reminded us to bring our books to school. We remind you to not leave your luggage alone.
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