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Rédaction/life based on travellling
Message de lablack38 posté le 06-02-2011 à 14:41:50 (S | E | F)
Bonjour ,
Je suis actuellement en 1ère Es , je dois effectuer une rédaction en anglais sur le thème du voyage .
Le sujet est le suivant :
Would you like to have a life based on permanent moving and travelling ?
Ma réponse est non . Il faut donc que je me justifie :
I wouldn't like to have a life based on permanent moving and travelling .
Let me tell you why.
To start with , I think that in life one must have the goal of having a stable situation. That is to say, a job, housing ect ... But if we constantly travel, how can we have a stable life? also ,reach a certain age, you should know to abandon their dreams and live her life to have a real future.
Moreover , when we traveling,we are far from our family and friends. I could never spend 6 months, 1 year or 2 years away from my family. Unlike the best friend of my father who spends his time traveling through the world. It's been 4 years since they are not seen.I could never understand this man, to me, family and friends are something very precious. How can you give up our family and friends for so long? For me it's unimaginable.
Je m'arrêtes là , je prépare la suite de ma rédaction que je posterai plus tard.
Pourriez-vous m'indiquer mes erreurs s'il vous plaît , que je corrigerai par la suite ?
Je vous remercie par avance .
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Modifié par lablack38 le 06-02-2011 14:42
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Modifié par lucile83 le 06-02-2011 14:49
Message de lablack38 posté le 06-02-2011 à 14:41:50 (S | E | F)
Bonjour ,
Je suis actuellement en 1ère Es , je dois effectuer une rédaction en anglais sur le thème du voyage .
Le sujet est le suivant :
Would you like to have a life based on permanent moving and travelling ?
Ma réponse est non . Il faut donc que je me justifie :
I wouldn't like to have a life based on permanent moving and travelling .
Let me tell you why.
To start with , I think that in life one must have the goal of having a stable situation. That is to say, a job, housing ect ... But if we constantly travel, how can we have a stable life? also ,reach a certain age, you should know to abandon their dreams and live her life to have a real future.
Moreover , when we traveling,we are far from our family and friends. I could never spend 6 months, 1 year or 2 years away from my family. Unlike the best friend of my father who spends his time traveling through the world. It's been 4 years since they are not seen.I could never understand this man, to me, family and friends are something very precious. How can you give up our family and friends for so long? For me it's unimaginable.
Je m'arrêtes là , je prépare la suite de ma rédaction que je posterai plus tard.
Pourriez-vous m'indiquer mes erreurs s'il vous plaît , que je corrigerai par la suite ?
Je vous remercie par avance .
-------------------
Modifié par lablack38 le 06-02-2011 14:42
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 06-02-2011 14:49
Réponse: Rédaction/life based on travellling de dsmith, postée le 06-02-2011 à 16:18:17 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Voici quelques corrections que tu peux faire:
I wouldn't like to have a life based on permanent moving and travelling .
Let me tell you why.
To start with , I think that in life one must have the goal of having a stable situation. That is to say, a job, housing ect ... But if we constantly travel, how can we have a stable life? also, when (Il faut un sujet? you?) reach a certain age, you should know to abandon their (pas en accord avec you) dreams and live her (pas en accord avec you) life to have a real future.
Moreover , when we il faut un autre mot avec le gerund ici) traveling,we are far from our family and friends. I could never spend 6 months, 1 year or 2 years away from my family. Unlike the best friend of my father who spends his time traveling through the world. It's been 4 years since they are not seen (en anglais nous ne mettons pas le negative après "since". essaye since we have seen them. Ou bien il faut utiliser le past anterior - have been...). I could never understand this man, to me, family and friends are something very precious. How can you give up our (pas en accord avec "you") family and friends for so long? For me it's unimaginable.
Très bien fait!
Réponse: Rédaction/life based on travellling de lablack38, postée le 06-02-2011 à 19:04:55 (S | E)
Bonsoir dsmith et merci beaucoup pour votre aide =)
I wouldn't like to have a life based on permanent moving and travelling .
Let me tell you why.
To start with , I think that in life one must have the goal of having a stable situation. That is to say, a job, housing etc...But if we constantly travel, how can we have a stable life? Also, when you reach a certain age, you should know to abandon your dreams and live your life to have a real future.
" Moreover , when we il faut un autre mot avec le gerund ici) traveling " j'ai pas très bien compris mon erreur =S
traveling,we are far from our family and friends. I could never spend 6 months, 1 year or 2 years away from my family. Unlike the best friend of my father who spends his time traveling through the world. It's been 4 years since we have seen them.I could never understand this man, to me, family and friends are something very precious. How can you give up your family and friends for so long? For me it's unimaginable.
Voilà =) . Je prépare la suite de ma rédaction . Merci beaucoup .
Réponse: Rédaction/life based on travellling de dsmith, postée le 07-02-2011 à 14:09:46 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Regarde ce lien pour apprendre ce qui te manque avec "we traveling"
Lien Internet
Réponse: Rédaction/life based on travellling de lablack38, postée le 07-02-2011 à 14:48:07 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Merci ! Oui bien sûr c'est " are " ! C'est logique ^^'
Sinon, pour le reste c'est bien ?
Voici la suite de ma rédaction :
Last, but no least, To travel you must have lots of money .You must have saved many years to travel in foreign countries.If I calculate the amount I would need to collect in order to make a travel in the U.S.A , Brazil or Japon, I think the sum would be far too high. With this money , I could have others projects that would be most important for me.For example, buying a house or a car . That's for th reason why, I think that travelling did rather reserved for the richest people which this is not my case because for me it's traveling constantly wasting money.
So, and this is my conclusion, I wouldn't say I am against travelling .I like visiting new places and saw new landscapes . However, I disapprove
I disagree with the fact of devoting your life to travel .
Voilà . Pourriez-vous m'indiquer mes fautes =)
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