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Vacances ratées
Message de charlemagne91 posté le 20-03-2011 à 17:29:51 (S | E | F)
Hello,
pouvez-vous m'aider à corriger mon texte s'il vous plaît?
Merci beaucoup d'avance.
When I went in xxx on Holiday, I remember it was the most boring place I going to!
I can sum up my holiday. I was in xxxx, a small village where Miss xxxx, a friend of my mum was living. In my view, the old woman was narrow-minded and harsh. Still I firstly approved of this holiday. First, I have been travelling for six hours and when I arrived with all my family; we couldn’t eat a peace of bread!
Besides, the ruthless woman put my poor guinea pig in the cellar and it was sick. As a result, I was upset. Nevertheless, I hid my grief and had a good behaviour! The weather wasn’t nice and I couldn’t play in the garden with my small sister. Moreover, the dog of Miss Laidgah had all the right, and she wanted I to walk it. I would have walked it if the weather had been nice…
Next, the food was disgusting. The old woman didn’t known cooking. I vomited her chocolate cream during a breakfast!
At the end of the week, I didn’t bear Miss xxxx because she demanded I clean all her house and I rode my favourite horse just one day.
I can’t forget this week because of this senior citizen and I was fed up with her. We leaded a dog’s life and when the week finished, my mother didn’t see Miss xxxx again!
charlemagne91
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Modifié par lucile83 le 20-03-2011 17:45
Message de charlemagne91 posté le 20-03-2011 à 17:29:51 (S | E | F)
Hello,
pouvez-vous m'aider à corriger mon texte s'il vous plaît?
Merci beaucoup d'avance.
When I went in xxx on Holiday, I remember it was the most boring place I going to!
I can sum up my holiday. I was in xxxx, a small village where Miss xxxx, a friend of my mum was living. In my view, the old woman was narrow-minded and harsh. Still I firstly approved of this holiday. First, I have been travelling for six hours and when I arrived with all my family; we couldn’t eat a peace of bread!
Besides, the ruthless woman put my poor guinea pig in the cellar and it was sick. As a result, I was upset. Nevertheless, I hid my grief and had a good behaviour! The weather wasn’t nice and I couldn’t play in the garden with my small sister. Moreover, the dog of Miss Laidgah had all the right, and she wanted I to walk it. I would have walked it if the weather had been nice…
Next, the food was disgusting. The old woman didn’t known cooking. I vomited her chocolate cream during a breakfast!
At the end of the week, I didn’t bear Miss xxxx because she demanded I clean all her house and I rode my favourite horse just one day.
I can’t forget this week because of this senior citizen and I was fed up with her. We leaded a dog’s life and when the week finished, my mother didn’t see Miss xxxx again!
charlemagne91
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 20-03-2011 17:45
Réponse: Vacances ratées de gerondif, postée le 20-03-2011 à 17:59:18 (S | E)
Bonjour,
malgré vos griefs envers les "senior citizens"
, je vais tenter de vous aider !!vert: correction offerte. autre couleur: à corriger.
When I went in(in:on y est. to: on y va) C.. on Holiday, I remember it was the most boring place I going to(temps) (Ce when ne s'impose pas! I went .....and I remember it was the most.....)!
I can sum up my holiday. I was in K..., a small village where Miss L..., a friend of my mum's was living(prétérit simple ou used to live iraient mieux). In my view, the old woman was narrow-minded and harsh. Still I firstly (plutôt "au début", tout d'abord, à mettre derrière still)approved of this holiday. First, I have(plus que parfait) been travelling for six hours and when I arrived with all my family; we couldn’t eat a peace("Que la paix soit avec vous!" dit le prêtre le dimanche ) of bread!
Besides, the ruthless woman put my poor guinea pig in the cellar and it was sick. As a result, I was upset. Nevertheless, I hid my grief and had a good behaviour! The weather wasn’t nice and I couldn’t play in the garden with my small(il est vrai que j'ai raté cette imprécision, younger sister) sister. Moreover, the dog of Miss L...(cas possessif) had all the right(every right ou all the rights), and she wanted I (accusatif, pronom personnel objet) to walk it. I would have walked it if the weather had been nice…
Next (on top of that, en plus de cela), the food was disgusting. The old woman didn’t known cooking (je sais cuisiner: I can cook. Adaptez). I vomited her chocolate cream during(sonne bizare avec breakfast, un matin au petit déjeuner serait plus classique) a breakfast!
At the end of the week, I didn’t(couldn't s'impose) bear Miss L... because she demanded I clean all her house and I rode my favourite horse just one day.
I can’t forget this week because of this senior citizen (ne convient pas cherchez vieille dame ou pire mais pas ce terme politiquement correct) and I was fed up with her. We leaded (verbe irrégulier)a dog’s life and when(plutôt after) the week finished, my mother didn’t see(plutôt never..... any more) Miss L... again!
Réponse: Vacances ratées de charlemagne91, postée le 21-03-2011 à 20:48:52 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup de votre aide, en vert j' ai fait les modifications. Pouvez-vous me dire si mes corrections sont bonnes? Merci d'avance.
When I went to C.. on holiday, I remember it was the most boring place I went to. I can sum up my holiday. I was in K..., a small village where Miss L..., a friend of my mum's used to live. In my view, the old woman was narrow-minded and harsh. Still I first approved of this holiday. First, I had(plus que parfait) been travelling for six hours and when I arrived with all my family; we couldn’t eat a piece of bread!
Besides, the ruthless woman put my poor guinea pig in the cellar and it was sick. As a result, I was upset. Nevertheless, I hid my grief and had a good behaviour! The weather wasn’t nice and I couldn’t play in the garden with my small sister. Moreover, the Miss L...'s dog had every right, and she wanted me to walk it. I would have walked it if the weather had been nice…
On top of that, (en plus de cela), the food was disgusting. The old woman couldn’t cook (je sais cuisiner: I can cook. Adaptez). I vomited her chocolate cream a morning breakfast!
At the end of the week, I couldn’t bear Miss L... because she demanded I clean all her house and I rode my favourite horse just one day.
I can’t forget this week because of this old woman and I was fed up with her. We led (verbe irrégulier)a dog’s life and after this week , my mother never see any more Miss L... again!
Réponse: Vacances ratées de gerondif, postée le 21-03-2011 à 23:11:01 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
I remember the most boring place I ever went to on holiday was C............
I can sum up my holiday. I was in K..., a small village where Miss L..., a friend of my mum's, used to live.
In my view, the old woman was narrow-minded and harsh. Still I approved of this holiday in the beginning . First, I had been travelling for six hours and when I arrived with all my family; we couldn’t eat a piece of bread!(peu naturel. On pourrait dire: there was nothing at all for us to eat)
Besides, the ruthless woman put my poor guinea-pig in the cellar and it was sick. As a result, I was upset. Nevertheless, I hid my grief and had a good behaviour! The weather wasn’t nice and I couldn’t play in the garden with my small sister. Moreover, the(supprimer) Miss L...'s dog had every right, and she wanted me to walk it. I would have walked it if the weather had been nice…
On top of that, the food was disgusting. The old woman couldn’t cook . I vomited her chocolate cream one morning at breakfast!
At the end of the week, I couldn’t bear Miss L... because she demanded I clean all her house and I rode (I could ride serait plus explicite) my favourite horse just(only) one day.
I can’t forget(I will never forget serait plus attendu) this week because of this old woman and I was fed up with her. We led a dog’s life and after this (horrible)week , my mother never see(prétérit) Miss L... any more !
Réponse: Vacances ratées de may, postée le 22-03-2011 à 00:52:17 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Parfait! pourtant, je voudrais clarifier quelques points grammaticaux pour charlemagne91:
Tu peux dire.... Miss L..., my mum's friend...
ou ...Miss L..., a friend of my mum's ( as Gerondif )-----> Miss L...., a friend of my mum's (friends)
Also, it's more accurate to say my little sister, my young sister or my old sister...(small, big is more about the size)
Bonne chance!
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Modifié par may le 22-03-2011 00:53
And more specific to say my mother never want(prétérit) to see Miss L... anymore !
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Modifié par lucile83 le 22-03-2011 07:57
Réponse: Vacances ratées de charlemagne91, postée le 22-03-2011 à 12:21:06 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour votre aide.
Charlemagne
Réponse: Vacances ratées de charly2843, postée le 24-03-2011 à 09:37:16 (S | E)
after this horrible week my mother never wants to see Miss L. anymore.
little sister est bien, on peut dire younger sister or older sister plutôt que young or old
Réponse: Vacances ratées de charlemagne91, postée le 24-03-2011 à 21:05:48 (S | E)
merci beaucoup
Réponse: Vacances ratées de may, postée le 25-03-2011 à 00:28:41 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Young, younger, and the youngest.
Old, older and the oldest
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Modifié par may le 25-03-2011 00:29
How many sisters and brothers do you have?
Réponse: Vacances ratées de violet91, postée le 25-03-2011 à 12:00:58 (S | E)
Hello dear all,
--démonstratif de l'éloigné ou péjoratif : that , those...
= after that ( dreadful) week ...
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