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Correction/textes pour oral
Message de coralie41 posté le 09-05-2011 à 17:39:59 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Vendredi j'ai un oral d'anglais, mais je n'arrive pas à corriger mes 2 textes, pouvez-vous m'aider s'il vous plait?
Merci pour vos réponses.
Texte 2 :
My last holiday was with Cassandre , we were in Les Mathes near La Rochelle. We arrived Monday, April 25 at the camping in the afternoon. We were store our clothes, then we were in the pool. In the evening we had been the Equinox is a large room or in the evening there are shows, and after we danced. The next day we went to the beach, we bathed but the water was cold, we took pictures, then we have been eating a pancake. Wednesday we went do shopping in Royan, in the evening we returned to the Equinox, there was a magic show, then after we danced. On Thursday we went at the pool and then we prepared our business,then Friday morning we left. The week after I did my homework on Tuesday, I went to cinema on wednesday to see "number 4".
Texte 3 :
Later I would like to live in the campaign(countryside) to be able to be tranquil, eat outside, walk... without a lot of people around.
I'd like to start a family, have three children, three girl
I'd go to England to improve my English because I want create my own restaurant with my sister and her boyfriend who work in this area, able to create my menus, decorating my restaurant and to welcome my family. I would like find a way that people stop complaining, because when we see what we have and what other countries have, you realize they have absolutely nothing but they are much happier than we, I would like do humanitarian action in poor countries. Later I want also teach dance during my spare time because I love dancing, I dance since 10 years.Later I would like to have lots of animals because I love animals especially dogs and cats, I would adopt all the animals who have no shelter, but they are so many.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 09-05-2011 18:38
Message de coralie41 posté le 09-05-2011 à 17:39:59 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Vendredi j'ai un oral d'anglais, mais je n'arrive pas à corriger mes 2 textes, pouvez-vous m'aider s'il vous plait?
Merci pour vos réponses.
Texte 2 :
My last holiday was with Cassandre , we were in Les Mathes near La Rochelle. We arrived Monday, April 25 at the camping in the afternoon. We were store our clothes, then we were in the pool. In the evening we had been the Equinox is a large room or in the evening there are shows, and after we danced. The next day we went to the beach, we bathed but the water was cold, we took pictures, then we have been eating a pancake. Wednesday we went do shopping in Royan, in the evening we returned to the Equinox, there was a magic show, then after we danced. On Thursday we went at the pool and then we prepared our business,then Friday morning we left. The week after I did my homework on Tuesday, I went to cinema on wednesday to see "number 4".
Texte 3 :
Later I would like to live in the campaign(countryside) to be able to be tranquil, eat outside, walk... without a lot of people around.
I'd like to start a family, have three children, three girl
I'd go to England to improve my English because I want create my own restaurant with my sister and her boyfriend who work in this area, able to create my menus, decorating my restaurant and to welcome my family. I would like find a way that people stop complaining, because when we see what we have and what other countries have, you realize they have absolutely nothing but they are much happier than we, I would like do humanitarian action in poor countries. Later I want also teach dance during my spare time because I love dancing, I dance since 10 years.Later I would like to have lots of animals because I love animals especially dogs and cats, I would adopt all the animals who have no shelter, but they are so many.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 09-05-2011 18:38
Réponse: Correction/textes pour oral de missaurelle, postée le 09-05-2011 à 19:37:39 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Voici les corrections que j'ai pu apporter, cependant, il est probable qu'il reste encore quelques erreurs.
Texte 1
My last holiday was with Cassandre , we were (1) in Les Mathes near La Rochelle. We arrived on Monday, April 25th at the camping in the afternoon. We were store (2) our clothes, then we were in (1) the pool. In the evening we had been (1) the Equinox which is a large room or (3) in the evening (4) there are shows, and after we danced. The next day we went to the beach, we bathed but the water was cold, we took pictures, then we have been eating (5) a pancake. Wednesday we went do (6) shopping in Royan, in the evening we returned to the Equinox. There was a magic show, then after (7) we danced. On Thursday we went to (prépo) the pool and then we prepared our business, then Friday morning we left (8). The week after I did my homework on Tuesday, I went to the cinema on wednesday to see "Number 4".
(1) Je verrais plutôt "we went", car d'après ce que je comprends, vous n'y étiez pas avant, vous y êtes donc allées. le verbe 'to be' n'indique aucun mouvement, et plutôt un état, il faut donc utiliser le verbe 'to go'. Pour 'we had been', je ne sais pas si c'est correct pour dire 'nous avons été' dasn le sens de 'nous sommes allées'... à faire vérifier par quelqu'un d'autre.
(2) Je ne comprends pas trop ce passage, qu'il faudrait, je pense, mettre à l'actif. Cependant, vous avez 'stockés' vos vêtements ?
(3) Ici, ce n'est pas le bon ou, celui-ci est le 'ou' de "du gâteau ou un yaourt". A ne pas confondre avec le 'où' de 'Où sommes-nous' (qui est celui qu'il faut utiliser ici).
(4) Afin d'éviter un peu la répétition, je te conseille de mettre ce group de mot à la fin de la proposition en mettant un 'durant la soirée'.
(5) Le present perfect continu me semble étrange ici, je verrais plus un prétérit (le présent perfect est un temps de présent, et ne traduit pas le passé composé
)(6) Je verrais juste 'we went shopping' pour dire que vous êtes allées faire du shopping.
(7) Je ne crois pas que 'then after' soit correct, tu peux mettre 'then' seul, ou 'and after'.
(8) Pour éviter la répétition de 'then', tu peux choisir une formulation différente comme 'We left on Friday morning'.
Je n'ai pas assez de place pour corriger le second texte, je vais donc devoir le faire dans un autre post, veuillez donc m'excuser du double-post.
Amicalement.
Réponse: Correction/textes pour oral de gerondif, postée le 09-05-2011 à 19:50:33 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
attention aux traductions trop automatiques comme: "nous avons préparé nos affaires" au sens de "nous avons fait notre valise" que vous avez traduit par: "we prepared our business" qui ne veut rien dire.
Réponse: Correction/textes pour oral de missaurelle, postée le 09-05-2011 à 20:01:23 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Voici mes corrections pour le deuxième texte. Il est toujours probable (assez fortement en faite) qu'il reste des erreurs.
Texte 2
Later I would like to live in the campaign(countryside) to be able to be tranquil, eat outside, walk... without a lot of people around.
I'd like to start a family, to
have three children, three girls.I'd go to England to improve my English because I want to (prepo)create my own restaurant with my sister and her boyfriend who works in this area, able to (1) create my menus, decorating (2) my restaurant and to welcome my family. I would like to find a way for people to stop complaining (3), because when we see what we have and what other countries have, you realize they have absolutely nothing but they are much happier than us, so (facultatif) I would like to do humanitarian action in poor countries. Later I want also (4) teach dance during my spare time because I love dancing, I dance since (5) 10 years.Later I would like to have lots of animals because I love animals especially dogs and cats, I would adopt all the animals who (6) haven't any (éventuellement, je ne suis pas sûre) shelter, but they are so many (many me semble ici étrange, j'aurais plutôt mis 'numerous', mais il se peut que ce soit juste).
(1) Le verbe est 'to be able to' il faut donc rajouter le verbe 'be'. Par contre, j ene comprend pas qui est capable (si c'est le petit ami de votre soeur, je verrais bien un 'et qui est capable de créer des menus'. (Area étant à double sens : soit il travaille dans les environs, soit il travaille dans la restauration).
(2) Il faut reprendre le verbe qui va avec 'to be able to' et donc, mettre la form adéquat (qui n'est pas en -ing).
(3) 'pour que les gens arrête de se plaindre => c'est un but, donc 'to + BV', mais vu qu'il y a une personne 'for someone to BV'
(4) 'Also' se place entre le sujet et le verbe (sauf cas des auxiliaires). 'Want' est suivi de 'to'.
(5) 'since' doit être précédé du present perfect lorsqu'il traduit 'depuis'.
(6) Pour les animaux, on utilise le même pronom que pour les objets : 'which'.
Amicalement.
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Modifié par missaurelle le 09-05-2011 20:01
Gerondif : j'ai pensé qu'elle s'apprêtait à faire des affaires, dans le cas de préparer ses valises, l'expression est donc 'to pack up' il me semble.
Réponse: Correction/textes pour oral de coralie41, postée le 09-05-2011 à 20:37:25 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour votre correction, cela va m'être d'une grande utilité
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