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Message de charlemagne91 posté le 14-05-2011 à 21:15:04 (S | E | F)
Hello,
Pour ma dernière pièce de théâtre en anglais, j' ai tenté de faire une pièce comique et très vivante. Pouvez-vous la relire et corriger les erreurs s'il vous plait?
Merci par avance.
Charlemagne.
It’s the story of a physician, who meets his old maths teacher.
(Laprof qui corrige ses copies...)
prof -No, no and no ! An other mistake ! I give him a bad mark! He doesen’t know how to write the name of Mr Pythagoras. It’s unpardonable. Children in this school are not able to jungle with numbers. Maybe I’m not a good teacher.
voix of-poor maths teatcher!
prof-Now, I am tired, I need a glass of water. (elle boit…) It’s better than. La prof fait une chute. Comment dire "aïe" en anglais?
AAAh boom aïe. Oh, no…I can’t stand up.
(elle appelle l'hopital)
prof -Hello…
médecin-Cater street’s hospital, Can I help you?
prof-Yes, my name is Miss Peterson. I broke my leg a few minutes ago because I fell in my kitchen.
médecin-In case you can’t move, we will send you an ambulance
prof-I can’t move!
médecin-Were do you live?
prof-I live in Manchester, one Atlantica street (là, je veux dire 1 rue de l’Atlantique mais je ne sais pas si une adresse se dit comme ça).
médecin-Hello…hello…Miss Peterson… ?!(la prof est évanouie)
Le médecin se rend sur place pour aler la chercher, surprise, il reconnait sa prof!
médecin-I recognize she, she is my old Maths teacher . Miss Peterson, you will awake you, won’t you?
…yes she became conscious.
Can you understand me?
prof-mmmh mmm AAAh You! Albert Crawitch! As soon as I see you, I remember of you. It was fifteen years ago. Not you, My god…
médecin-My favourite maths teacher!
prof-You were my school boy and now you are doctor? I can’t believe it !
médecin-I was your worst school nevertheless I achieve my goal…I am a famous physician.
prof-Never judge a book by its cover!
il l'examine
médecin-This hurt looks serious, that’s why, I must operate your leg.
prof-I will undergo an operation
médecin-yes miss
prof-I only I were with an other physician…
Aïe…(le médecin lui fait mal (vengence d'ancien élève
médecin-Do you remember the first mark you ascribe me?
prof-yes of course.
médecin-Zero!
prof (qui souffre)Aïe, stop working please.
médecin- Certainly not. Do you remember your first quotation on my school report? (appreciation sur le bulletin? )
prof-I prefer forget It
médecin-I never forget it.
Aïe
prof-Albert, I apologize you. Pardon for bad marks, pardon to have been strict, pardon to have been your teacher, moreover, pardon me being born!
fin
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 14-05-2011 21:27
Message de charlemagne91 posté le 14-05-2011 à 21:15:04 (S | E | F)
Hello,
Pour ma dernière pièce de théâtre en anglais, j' ai tenté de faire une pièce comique et très vivante. Pouvez-vous la relire et corriger les erreurs s'il vous plait?
Merci par avance.
Charlemagne.
It’s the story of a physician, who meets his old maths teacher.
(Laprof qui corrige ses copies...)
prof -No, no and no ! An other mistake ! I give him a bad mark! He doesen’t know how to write the name of Mr Pythagoras. It’s unpardonable. Children in this school are not able to jungle with numbers. Maybe I’m not a good teacher.
voix of-poor maths teatcher!
prof-Now, I am tired, I need a glass of water. (elle boit…) It’s better than. La prof fait une chute. Comment dire "aïe" en anglais?
AAAh boom aïe. Oh, no…I can’t stand up.
(elle appelle l'hopital)
prof -Hello…
médecin-Cater street’s hospital, Can I help you?
prof-Yes, my name is Miss Peterson. I broke my leg a few minutes ago because I fell in my kitchen.
médecin-In case you can’t move, we will send you an ambulance
prof-I can’t move!
médecin-Were do you live?
prof-I live in Manchester, one Atlantica street (là, je veux dire 1 rue de l’Atlantique mais je ne sais pas si une adresse se dit comme ça).
médecin-Hello…hello…Miss Peterson… ?!(la prof est évanouie)
Le médecin se rend sur place pour aler la chercher, surprise, il reconnait sa prof!
médecin-I recognize she, she is my old Maths teacher . Miss Peterson, you will awake you, won’t you?
…yes she became conscious.
Can you understand me?
prof-mmmh mmm AAAh You! Albert Crawitch! As soon as I see you, I remember of you. It was fifteen years ago. Not you, My god…
médecin-My favourite maths teacher!
prof-You were my school boy and now you are doctor? I can’t believe it !
médecin-I was your worst school nevertheless I achieve my goal…I am a famous physician.
prof-Never judge a book by its cover!
il l'examine
médecin-This hurt looks serious, that’s why, I must operate your leg.
prof-I will undergo an operation
médecin-yes miss
prof-I only I were with an other physician…
Aïe…(le médecin lui fait mal (vengence d'ancien élève
médecin-Do you remember the first mark you ascribe me?
prof-yes of course.
médecin-Zero!
prof (qui souffre)Aïe, stop working please.
médecin- Certainly not. Do you remember your first quotation on my school report? (appreciation sur le bulletin? )
prof-I prefer forget It
médecin-I never forget it.
Aïe
prof-Albert, I apologize you. Pardon for bad marks, pardon to have been strict, pardon to have been your teacher, moreover, pardon me being born!
fin
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 14-05-2011 21:27
Réponse: Retrouvailles mouvementées de charlemagne91, postée le 15-05-2011 à 18:45:56 (S | E)
personne ne peux m 'aider?
Réponse: Retrouvailles mouvementées de dolfine56, postée le 15-05-2011 à 19:33:41 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
prof -No, no and no ! An other mistake ! I give him a bad mark! He doesen’t know how to write the name of Mr Pythagoras cas possessif avec une personne?. It’s unpardonable. Children in this school are not able to jungle with numbers. Maybe I’m not a good teacher.
voix of-poor maths teatcher!
prof-Now, I am tired, I need a glass of water. (elle boit…) It’s better than. La prof fait une chute. Comment dire "aïe" ouch en anglais?
AAAh boom aïe. Oh, no…I can’t stand up.
(elle appelle l'hopital)
prof -Hello…
médecin-Cater street’s hospital majuscules, Can I help you?
prof-Yes, my name is Miss Peterson. I broke my leg a few minutes ago because I fell in my kitchen.
médecin-In case you can’t move, we will send you an ambulance
prof-I can’t move!
médecin-Were do you live?
prof-I live in Manchester, one Atlantica street number one(là, je veux dire 1 rue de l’Atlantique mais je ne sais pas si une adresse se dit comme ça).
médecin-Hello…hello…Miss Peterson… ?!(la prof est évanouie)
Le médecin se rend sur place pour aler la chercher, surprise, il reconnait sa prof!
médecin-I recognize she, she is my old
Maths teacher . Miss Peterson, you will awake you, won’t you? …yes she became 3è pers.sing.conscious.
Can you understand me?
prof-mmmh mmm AAAh You! Albert Crawitch! As soon as I see you, I remember
médecin-My favourite maths teacher!
prof-You were my school boy and now you are a doctor? I can’t believe it !
médecin-I was your worst school nevertheless I achieve verbe au passémy goal…I am a famous physician.
prof-Never judge a book by its cover!
Voilà pour le 1r paragraphe....
Réponse: Retrouvailles mouvementées de gerondif, postée le 15-05-2011 à 19:57:59 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
comprenez que comme prof, il faut avoir envie de corriger ce type de thème !
(La prof qui corrige ses copies...)
prof -No, no and no ! Another mistake ! I give him a bad mark! He doesen’t know how to write the name of Mr Pythagoras. It’s unpardonable(adjectif formé sur forgive). Children in this school are not able to jungle with numbers. Maybe I’m not a good teacher.
voix of-poor maths teatcher!
prof-Now, I am tired, I need a glass of water. (elle boit…) It’s better
AAAh boom aïe. Oh, no…I can’t stand up.
(elle appelle l'hôpital)
prof -Hello…
médecin-Cater Street’s Hospital, Can I help you?
prof-Yes, my name is Miss Peterson. I broke my leg a few minutes ago because I fell in my kitchen. (il serait mieux de dire: je viens de tomber et de me casser...I have just ......
médecin-In case you (if serait plus logique)can’t move, we will send you an ambulance
prof-I can’t move!
médecin-Were do you live?
prof-I live in Manchester, at number 1, Atlantic Street.
médecin-Hello…hello…Miss Peterson… ?!(la prof est évanouie)(to faint au present perfect)
Le médecin se rend sur place pour aller la chercher, surprise, il reconnait sa prof!
médecin-I recognize she(cod!), she is my old Maths teacher . Miss Peterson, you will awake you, won’t you? (mauvais temps, utilisez l'impératif:wake up !! En secourisme on dit: vous m'entendez? si vous m'entendez, ouvrez les yeux, serrez-moi la main)
…yes she became conscious.(mauvais choix de temps: présent simple ou passé proche)
Can you understand me?
prof-mmmh mmm AAAh You! Albert Crawitch! As soon as I see(prétérit) you, I remember(prétérit)
médecin-My favourite maths teacher!
prof-You were my school boy (one of my pupils)and now you are a doctor( a devant les noms de métier: je suis prof: I am a teacher)? I can’t believe it !
médecin-I was your worst school(pupil?) nevertheless I achieve(prétérit) my goal…I am a famous physician.
prof-Never judge a book by its cover!
il l'examine.
médecin-This hurt(blessure: wound) looks serious, that’s why I must operate your leg.
prof-I will undergo an operation
médecin-yes miss
prof-I only I were with an other physician…
Aïe…(le médecin lui fait mal (to hurt somebody)(vengence d'ancien élève)
médecin-Do you remember the first mark you ascribe(donner au prétérit) me?
prof-yes of course.
médecin-Zero!
prof (qui souffre)Aïe, stop working please.(working ? arrêtez d'appuyer, de tordre...)
médecin- Certainly not. Do you remember your first quotation(commentaire: comment on my school report? (appreciation sur le bulletin? )
prof-I prefer(infinitif complet) forget It
médecin-I never forget it.(prétérit)
Aïe
prof-Albert, I apologize
* je sais bien que c'est du théatre mais les notes sont le résultat d'un travail fourni et pas une méchanceté de prof. Quand on me rend feuille blanche, je suis désolé de mettre zéro mais je vais bientôt noter les dessins, il faut positiver
Réponse: Retrouvailles mouvementées de charlemagne91, postée le 15-05-2011 à 21:49:11 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
tout d'abord, merci beaucoup pour votre aide. Si vous pouvez jeter un petit coup d'oeil sur ce que j 'ai corrigé...
Ensuite, rassurez vous: cette pièce de théâtre est seulement ...une pièce de théâtre ! Je n 'ai aucune raison d'en vouloir à la plupart de mes profs
Et surtout vous qui m 'avez aidé si gentiment! A noter aussi que la prof dans la pièce n'est pas dans son tort mais seulement dans une situation difficile face à un ancien mauvais élève (il n'est pas dit que les notes qu'il avait n'étaient pas méritées !) Elle ne s'excuse que sous la torture !! En plus, c'est moi qui vais incarner le rôle de la prof...ce qui me plait bien
Bonne soirée et encore merci de votre aide.
prof -No, no and no ! Another mistake ! I give him a bad mark! He doesn’t know how to write Mr Pythagoras ‘ name . It’s unpardonable. Children in this school are not able to juggle with numbers. Maybe I’m not a good teacher.
voix off-poor maths teacher!
prof-Now, I am tired, I need a glass of water. (elle boit…) It’s better. La prof fait une chute.
AAAh ouch Oh, no…I can’t stand up.
(elle appelle l'hopital)
prof -Hello…
médecin-Cater Street’s hospital, Can I help you?
prof-Yes, my name is Miss Peterson. I broke my leg a few minutes ago because I fell in my kitchen.
médecin-In case you can’t move, we will send you an ambulance
prof-I can’t move!
médecin-Were do you live?
prof-I live in Manchester, at number 1, Atlantic Street.
médecin-Hello…hello…Miss Peterson… ?!(la prof est évanouie)
Le médecin se rend sur place pour aler la chercher, surprise, il reconnait sa prof!
médecin-I recognize her, she is my old Maths teacher . Miss Peterson, you will awake you, won’t you?
…yes she become conscious.
Can you understand me?
prof-mmmh mmm AAAh You! Albert Crawitch! As soon as I saw you, I remember you. It was fifteen years ago. Not you, My god…
médecin-My favourite maths teacher!
prof-You were one of my pupils comment je pronnonce “pupils”? and now you are a doctor? I can’t believe it !
médecin-I was your worst school pupil nevertheless I achieved verbe au passémy goal…I am a famous physician.
prof-Never judge a book by its cover!
il l'examine.
médecin-This wound looks serious, that’s why I must operate your leg.
prof-I will undergo an operation
médecin-yes miss
prof-I only I were with an other physician…
Aïe…(le médecin lui fait mal (to hurt somebody)(vengence d'ancien élève)
médecin-Do you remember the first mark you ascribed(donner au prétérit) me?
prof-yes of course.
médecin-Zero!
prof (qui souffre)OUCH, stop twisting, stop pushing please.
médecin- Certainly not. Do you remember your first comment on my school report?
prof-I prefer to forget It
médecin-I never forgot it.
OUCH
prof-Albert, I apologize . Pardon me for the bad marks, pardon me for having been strict(cela me semble sonner faux, je dois me tromper…), pardon me for having been your teacher, moreover, pardon me for being born!
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 15-05-2011 22:08
Réponse: Retrouvailles mouvementées de gerondif, postée le 15-05-2011 à 22:34:08 (S | E)
Hello,
prof -No, no and no ! Another mistake ! I'll give him a bad mark! He doesn’t know how to write Mr Pythagoras ‘ name . It’s unpardonable(unforgivable). Children in this school are not able to(can't est plus léger) juggle with numbers. Maybe I’m not a good teacher.
voix off-poor maths teacher!
prof-Now, I am tired, I need a glass of water. (elle boit…) It’s better. La prof fait une chute.
AAAh ouch Oh, no…I can’t stand up.
(elle appelle l'hôpital)
prof -Hello…
médecin-Cater Street hospital, Can I help you?
prof-Yes, my name is Miss Peterson. I broke my leg a few minutes ago because I fell in my kitchen.
médecin-In case you (va moins bien que if)can’t move, we will send you an ambulance
prof-I can’t move!
médecin-Were do you live?
prof-I live in Manchester, at number 1, Atlantic Street.
médecin-Hello…hello…Miss Peterson… ?!(la prof est évanouie)
Le médecin se rend sur place pour aller la chercher, surprise, il reconnait sa prof!
médecin-I recognize her, she is(used to be) my old Maths teacher . Miss Peterson, you will awake you, won’t you? (ce futur ne va pas, utilisez l'impératif)
…yes she become conscious(ne se dit pas, on dit: she is coming to).
Can you understand me? (pourquoi comprendre? Can you hear me ?)
prof-mmmh mmm AAAh You! Albert Crawitch! As soon as I saw you, I remember(prétérit!!) you. It was fifteen years ago. Not you, My god…
médecin-My favourite maths teacher!
prof-You were one of my pupils (p+you+paul+z) ['pju:polz]? and now you are a doctor? I can’t believe it !
médecin-I was your worst school pupil nevertheless I achieved my goal…I am a famous physician.
prof-Never judge a book by its cover!
il l'examine.
médecin-This wound looks serious, that’s why I must operate your leg.
prof-I will undergo an operation ?
médecin-yes miss
prof-I only I were with an other physician…
Aïe…(le médecin lui fait mal (to hurt somebody)(vengence d'ancien élève)
médecin-Do you remember the first mark you ascribed(remplacer par donner(to give) au prétérit) me?
prof-yes of course.
médecin-Zero!
prof (qui souffre)OUCH, stop twisting, stop pushing please.(un seul des deux aurait suffi)
médecin- Certainly not. Do you remember your first comment on my school report?
prof-I'd prefer to forget It
médecin-I never forgot it.
OUCH
prof-Albert, I apologize . Pardon me for the bad marks, forgive me for having been strict(cela me semble sonner faux, je dois me tromper oui, c'est un piège forgive me for being too strict)…), pardon me for having been (idem)your teacher, moreover, pardon me for being born!
Réponse: Retrouvailles mouvementées de charlemagne91, postée le 16-05-2011 à 18:43:54 (S | E)
merci beaucoup
charlemagne
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