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IELTS /mobile phone
Message de elasista posté le 27-05-2011 à 01:23:34 (S | E | F)
Hello,
Can you help me with my essay please?
Write about the following topic:
The increase in mobile phone use in recent years has transformed the way we live, communicate and do business. Mobile phones can also be the cause of social or medical problems. What forms do these problems take?
Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of mobile phones?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
The development of technology has completely changed the way people interact with each other in our society. Since the end of the twenty century, it is more and more common to see someone owing a mobile phone. This tool is essential if you want to be and to stay connected to the word. Even though, it is quite impossible to live without it, you have to admit that mobile phones can also be the source of some medical and social problems.
First, we daily depend on this tool because it may contain some information need for your day (agenda, appointment, call phone you have to make, etc.). Also certain people spend too much time on their phone, talking to someone for hours instead speaking face to face. The use of this tool makes our live easier but less sociable. The mobile phone can also enable someone to directly do some bank operation or at home or during a break instead of taking time they might not have in order to go to the bank. Second, all new technology has influenced on her body and health. It has been proof that spending too much time at the phone is very bad and can cause damage to your health. But this argument is not very taken in consideration by a lot of users. Some people just do prefer to close their eyes.
We can conclude this essay by saying that mobile phone make our live easier even though it makes people less sociable and more and more dependent on technology.
Thank you for your answers.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 27-05-2011 06:13
Message de elasista posté le 27-05-2011 à 01:23:34 (S | E | F)
Hello,
Can you help me with my essay please?
Write about the following topic:
The increase in mobile phone use in recent years has transformed the way we live, communicate and do business. Mobile phones can also be the cause of social or medical problems. What forms do these problems take?
Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of mobile phones?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
The development of technology has completely changed the way people interact with each other in our society. Since the end of the twenty century, it is more and more common to see someone owing a mobile phone. This tool is essential if you want to be and to stay connected to the word. Even though, it is quite impossible to live without it, you have to admit that mobile phones can also be the source of some medical and social problems.
First, we daily depend on this tool because it may contain some information need for your day (agenda, appointment, call phone you have to make, etc.). Also certain people spend too much time on their phone, talking to someone for hours instead speaking face to face. The use of this tool makes our live easier but less sociable. The mobile phone can also enable someone to directly do some bank operation or at home or during a break instead of taking time they might not have in order to go to the bank. Second, all new technology has influenced on her body and health. It has been proof that spending too much time at the phone is very bad and can cause damage to your health. But this argument is not very taken in consideration by a lot of users. Some people just do prefer to close their eyes.
We can conclude this essay by saying that mobile phone make our live easier even though it makes people less sociable and more and more dependent on technology.
Thank you for your answers.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 27-05-2011 06:13
Réponse: IELTS /mobile phone de notrepere, postée le 27-05-2011 à 04:46:39 (S | E)
HelloThe development of technology has completely changed the way people interact with each other in our society. Since the end of the twenty century (le vingtième siècle), it is more and more common to see someone ow?ing a mobile phone. This tool is essential if you want to be and to stay connected to the wor?d. Even though, it is quite impossible to live without it, you have to admit that mobile phones can also be the source of some medical and social problems.
First, we daily (1) depend on this tool because it may contain some information needed for your day (agenda, appointment, call phone you have to make, etc.). Also, certain people spend too much time on their phone, talking to someone for hours instead of speaking face to face. The use of this tool makes our lives easier but less sociable. The mobile phone can also enable someone to directly do some bank operation or at home or during a break instead of taking time they might not have in order to go to the bank. Second, all new technology has influenced on her body and health. It has been proof that spending too much time at the phone is very bad and can cause damage to your health. But this argument is not very taken into consideration by a lot of users. Some people just do prefer to close their eyes.
We can conclude this essay by saying that mobile phones make our live_ easier even though it makes people less sociable and more and more dependent on technology.
(1) mot mal placé mais l'expression 'on a daily basis' est mieux
En rouge, à corriger.
Réponse: IELTS /mobile phone de elasista, postée le 03-06-2011 à 10:22:14 (S | E)
of the twentieth-century
world
our bodies and healths ou On people's bodies and healths ( I am not sure)
It is been proof
on the phone
really
Réponse: IELTS /mobile phone de notrepere, postée le 03-06-2011 à 18:53:04 (S | E)
HelloPresque parfait.
of the twentieth-century (sans tiret)
world
our bodies and healths (health is invariable)
It is been proof (Je dirais: It proves)
on the phone
really
Vous avez manqué une correction donnée:
that mobile phones make our lives (c'est vendredi, je vous donne la bonne résponse)
Réponse: IELTS /mobile phone de elasista, postée le 03-06-2011 à 19:04:21 (S | E)
Thanks a lot. I will let you know if I succeed or not.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 03-06-2011 19:49
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