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Cover Letter
Message de yasmine1014 posté le 25-10-2011 à 14:13:30 (S | E | F)
Good Afternoon,
Could you please correct my Cover Letter for a work placement? If you have some advice to perfect it, I'd be very grateful.
Thanks.
Object: Application for work placement in the sales department, IBM UK.
Dear Mr Hxx,
I am writing to apply for the work placement in your sales team based in UK which was publish on your website with the reference S_D-0441189.
I am at present a student in a Bachelor of International Trade and I am looking for a three months’ work placement, from June 4th to August 24th 2012. I am very much interested in the position advertised because it will specify my professional project putting on practice my knowledge of International Trade. Moreover, I am very attracted by the fact that the offer is based in United Kingdom, since I have got a first succeed work experience in London. It will also give me the opportunity to go abroad and work taking intercultural specificities into account.
During my course, I had the opportunity to do two work placements. I was in a company specialized in providing refurbished IT components. We were, among others, reselling IBM spare parts so I already have some knowledge of your products which could be an advantage if I came to work in your sales team. It has familiarized me with specificities of the IT market too.
Moreover, my first work placement was in London and allowed me to perfect my English. I also have good knowledge of Spanish, which, I am sure, will be improved after 6 months spent in Spain in Alicante’s university, for Erasmus program.
As you can see from my enclosed Curriculum Vitae, I also worked as Sales and Logistics Assistant for two months last summer, a job that I found after a work placement. During this job, I proved that I was able to work well in a team and that I am at ease dealing with people on the telephone. Indeed, the logistics assistant is really the mainstay of the communication between each participant of a company.
It will be useful to add that I am proficient in the use of common computer applications (Word, Excel, Outlook, PowerPoint…)
I am available for interview at your convenience and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours sincerely,
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Edited by lucile83 on 25-10-2011 15:54
Message de yasmine1014 posté le 25-10-2011 à 14:13:30 (S | E | F)
Good Afternoon,
Could you please correct my Cover Letter for a work placement? If you have some advice to perfect it, I'd be very grateful.
Thanks.
Object: Application for work placement in the sales department, IBM UK.
Dear Mr Hxx,
I am writing to apply for the work placement in your sales team based in UK which was publish on your website with the reference S_D-0441189.
I am at present a student in a Bachelor of International Trade and I am looking for a three months’ work placement, from June 4th to August 24th 2012. I am very much interested in the position advertised because it will specify my professional project putting on practice my knowledge of International Trade. Moreover, I am very attracted by the fact that the offer is based in United Kingdom, since I have got a first succeed work experience in London. It will also give me the opportunity to go abroad and work taking intercultural specificities into account.
During my course, I had the opportunity to do two work placements. I was in a company specialized in providing refurbished IT components. We were, among others, reselling IBM spare parts so I already have some knowledge of your products which could be an advantage if I came to work in your sales team. It has familiarized me with specificities of the IT market too.
Moreover, my first work placement was in London and allowed me to perfect my English. I also have good knowledge of Spanish, which, I am sure, will be improved after 6 months spent in Spain in Alicante’s university, for Erasmus program.
As you can see from my enclosed Curriculum Vitae, I also worked as Sales and Logistics Assistant for two months last summer, a job that I found after a work placement. During this job, I proved that I was able to work well in a team and that I am at ease dealing with people on the telephone. Indeed, the logistics assistant is really the mainstay of the communication between each participant of a company.
It will be useful to add that I am proficient in the use of common computer applications (Word, Excel, Outlook, PowerPoint…)
I am available for interview at your convenience and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours sincerely,
-------------------
Edited by lucile83 on 25-10-2011 15:54
Réponse: Cover Letter de notrepere, postée le 25-10-2011 à 15:29:08 (S | E)
HelloI am writing to apply for the work placement position in your sales team based in [article manquant] UK which was publish[ed] on your website with the reference S_D-0441189.
I am at present a student in a Bachelor of International Trade and I am looking for a three months’ work placement, from June 4th to August 24th 2012. I am very much interested in the position advertised because it will specify (1) my professional project putting on (2) practice my knowledge of International Trade. Moreover, I am very attracted by the fact that the offer is based in (3) United Kingdom, since I have got a first succeed (4) work experience in London. It will also give me the opportunity to go abroad and work taking intercultural specificities (1) into account.
During my course, I had the opportunity to do two work placements. I was in a company specialized (5) in providing refurbished IT components. We were, among others, reselling IBM spare parts so I already have some knowledge of your products which could be an advantage if I came to work in your sales team. It has familiarized me with specificities (4) of the IT market too.
Moreover, my first work placement was in London
(1) use another word
(2) wrong preposition, check a dictionary
(3) article missing
(4) form of word wrong
(5) gerund
As you can see from my enclosed Curriculum Vitae, I also worked as (3) Sales and Logistics Assistant for two months last summer, a job that I found after a work placement. During this job, I proved that I was able to work well in a team and that I am at ease dealing with people on the telephone. Indeed, the logistics assistant is really the mainstay of the communication between each participant of a company.
It will be useful to add that I am proficient in the use of common computer applications (Word, Excel, Outlook, PowerPoint…)
I am available for an interview at your convenience and I look forward to hearing from you so
-------------------
Edited by notrepere on 25-10-2011 15:33
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