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Correction/robbery
Message de krol64 posté le 28-10-2011 à 14:10:22 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je cherche désespérément de l'aide ... Est ce qu'il serait possible s'il vous plaît d'avoir une correction de ce texte ? On voit toujours mieux les fautes des autres ;)
Je ne suis pas très douée en anglais ...
Merci pour vos réponses !
He was rubbing his head, thinking about the hardship who was waiting him. He was trying to retrace in his head the plan that he was on the verge of achieving. Indeed, first, he will have to enter inside the building. For that he will have to face many row of fencing, alarms, and guards ... But Kit Oxenford had planned everything, he had thought of a way around that, he had stolen the identity card of his father, his card-pass, and he had made a copy of his fingerprints, he will have only to wear an elegant costume from the closet of his father. He looked like his father, nobody will be able to suspect him, no one would will suspect that it's the boss's son. But to be even more careful, he will be inside early in the morning before the arrival of personnel.
Once he will carry out all this successfully, he will go to the laboratory for his main aim which is to steal secret recipes for drugs, and a few of samples of drug.
Kit had organized all this because he is in conflict with his father that’s why he wanted to take a revenge on him. Indeed, during his childhood, his father was never there. He had spent all his time for the creation of his business Oxenford Medical, forgetting his son.
The alarm clock rang, everything was timed, so he threw himself out of bed, still anxious and impatient...Once ready, he took the road in direction to Oxenford Medical.
A few days later, on the front page of all newspapers, we can read :
Oxenford Medical stolen, ruined.
Kit had succeeded in ruining his father's work, now he had planned to sell the drugs. With the money, he would build his own business.
Since this day, Kit who had rarely planned anything in his life, decided to plan a lot of things to become proud of himself.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 28-10-2011 16:04
Message de krol64 posté le 28-10-2011 à 14:10:22 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je cherche désespérément de l'aide ... Est ce qu'il serait possible s'il vous plaît d'avoir une correction de ce texte ? On voit toujours mieux les fautes des autres ;)
Je ne suis pas très douée en anglais ...
Merci pour vos réponses !
He was rubbing his head, thinking about the hardship who was waiting him. He was trying to retrace in his head the plan that he was on the verge of achieving. Indeed, first, he will have to enter inside the building. For that he will have to face many row of fencing, alarms, and guards ... But Kit Oxenford had planned everything, he had thought of a way around that, he had stolen the identity card of his father, his card-pass, and he had made a copy of his fingerprints, he will have only to wear an elegant costume from the closet of his father. He looked like his father, nobody will be able to suspect him, no one would will suspect that it's the boss's son. But to be even more careful, he will be inside early in the morning before the arrival of personnel.
Once he will carry out all this successfully, he will go to the laboratory for his main aim which is to steal secret recipes for drugs, and a few of samples of drug.
Kit had organized all this because he is in conflict with his father that’s why he wanted to take a revenge on him. Indeed, during his childhood, his father was never there. He had spent all his time for the creation of his business Oxenford Medical, forgetting his son.
The alarm clock rang, everything was timed, so he threw himself out of bed, still anxious and impatient...Once ready, he took the road in direction to Oxenford Medical.
A few days later, on the front page of all newspapers, we can read :
Oxenford Medical stolen, ruined.
Kit had succeeded in ruining his father's work, now he had planned to sell the drugs. With the money, he would build his own business.
Since this day, Kit who had rarely planned anything in his life, decided to plan a lot of things to become proud of himself.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 28-10-2011 16:04
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