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Money in society/ 2e
Message de aenti posté le 31-10-2011 à 10:51:37 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Jem'excuse vous prie de m'excuser pour le traducteur.
J'ai refait mes phrases mais j'aurais besoin d'aide pour la correction.
Merci pour vos réponses.
Voici mon nouveau texte:
Since the dawn of civilization, the first money is central of our society. Yet nowadays it seems to take more part in our daily lives. Can you think that money has become the priority in modern society? Today money is essential for success but it doesn't buy happiness.
First and foremost you must know that we are in a capitalist society. In this economic system, we must have money for get good work and good life. Indeed, in principle, we certainly should have the necessary funding to meet the needs because A person with no access to cash should may not dispose of enough money for housing and for their kids to go to school, and to be able to afford a decent quality of life.This is even more obvious when we live in modern society as we spend at least a third of our time at work.
On the other hand, money to include ourselves in the mainstream society. Indeed the man must have job obligations in order to engage in any society. Thus man as more money more important it is.
To conclude money is become one of the most important things in our society. But I think it does not make us happy. Indeed the man is becoming more selfish. Indeed last month a Chinese girl of 2 years was run over by a truck and let on the low side because it was cheaper to let it die than pay for the care of the girl if she had survived.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 31-10-2011 12:20
Message de aenti posté le 31-10-2011 à 10:51:37 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je
J'ai refait mes phrases mais j'aurais besoin d'aide pour la correction.
Merci pour vos réponses.
Voici mon nouveau texte:
Since the dawn of civilization, the first money is central of our society. Yet nowadays it seems to take more part in our daily lives. Can you think that money has become the priority in modern society? Today money is essential for success but it doesn't buy happiness.
First and foremost you must know that we are in a capitalist society. In this economic system, we must have money for get good work and good life. Indeed, in principle, we certainly should have the necessary funding to meet the needs because A person with no access to cash should may not dispose of enough money for housing and for their kids to go to school, and to be able to afford a decent quality of life.This is even more obvious when we live in modern society as we spend at least a third of our time at work.
On the other hand, money to include ourselves in the mainstream society. Indeed the man must have job obligations in order to engage in any society. Thus man as more money more important it is.
To conclude money is become one of the most important things in our society. But I think it does not make us happy. Indeed the man is becoming more selfish. Indeed last month a Chinese girl of 2 years was run over by a truck and let on the low side because it was cheaper to let it die than pay for the care of the girl if she had survived.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 31-10-2011 12:20
Réponse: Money in society/ 2e de robertbrou, postée le 01-11-2011 à 17:55:46 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Beaucoup de travail à [re]faire. Voici mes suggestions.
Since the dawn of civilization,
First and foremost you must know that we are (ajouter une verbe rendra la phrase plus claire) in a capitalist society. In this economic system, we must have (doit avoir ou avoir besoin de?) money for get good work and good life (maladroit: rechercher "pour +verbe"). Indeed, in principle, we certainly should have the necessary funding to meet the needs (manque quelque chose...the needs of what?) because A person with no access to cash should may not dispose of enough money (refaire) for housing and for their kids to go to school, and to be able to afford a decent quality of life.This is even more obvious when (voir puisque) we live in a modern society as (mauvaise conjonction) and we spend at least a third of our time at work.
On the other hand, (manque sujet de la phrase) money to include ourselves in the mainstream society. Indeed the man (Utiliser people, we, one) must have job obligations in order to engage in any society . Thus man as more money more important it is. (fournir ces phrases en français, s'il vous plaît)
To conclude, money is (mauvais auxiliaire) become one of the most important things in our society. But I think it does not make us happy. Indeed the man (idem) is becoming more selfish. Indeed last month a Chinese girl of 2 years was run over by a truck and let (orthographe) on the low side (revoir bas-côté) because it was cheaper to let it (it=une chose) die than pay for the care of the girl (ce sera meilleur d'utiliser le pronom) if she had survived.
Hope this helps!
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