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Résumé/my country
Message de alexandredu29 posté le 03-11-2011 à 20:20:37 (S | E | F)
Bonjour.
Pour demain je dois faire un résumé sur un texte portant sur un extrait de "My Country" écrit par Anthony Davies.
Je souhaiterais que vous m’aidiez à rendre un travail sans faute afin de progresser.
Voici mon texte :
One day, Andefra, a immigrant went to the Immigration Officer. Maria, a civil servant told he his identity was confirmed. Moreover, his papers was confirmed. Andefra was officialy England citizen.
A few minutes later, he collected his allowance and he bought some shopping. He was so happy to be freedom ! Buy all he wants, it was so good !
Moments later, at home, he thought that he could become a friend of his neighbours ! But actually, it was false. Because he was disturbed by the neighbours' music, he decided to requested if they could turn down the music but a man called Paul told him "go home" by calling he "sponger". Andefra had insisted politely and Paul seem dislike Andefra !
At the evening, Andefra read Harry Potter.
Days later, when he came home from Sainsbury's, in front of the Elevator, he met Paul's son. He wanted to speak with the younger man, whereas Paul told him to don't speak with Andefra. A few seconds later, Paul's wife cAME and she apologized her husband and her son.
When the lift arrived, a muslim family left the Elevator and because Andrefa wanted to be polite, he said hello, and any answer ! He was confused thereafter and he didn't understand the reason why they don't answer !
He came in the lift with Thomas and his mother.
Suddenly the lift arrived at the floor twenty, they left the elevator. On the contrary of her husband, Jenny (paul's wife) was nice to meet Andefra. As regards Thomas, he wanted to shake Andrefa's hand.
Pourriez-vous me corriger les fautessvp s'il vous plaît?
Merci d'avance,
Alexandre.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 03-11-2011 21:04
Message de alexandredu29 posté le 03-11-2011 à 20:20:37 (S | E | F)
Bonjour.
Pour demain je dois faire un résumé sur un texte portant sur un extrait de "My Country" écrit par Anthony Davies.
Je souhaiterais que vous m’aidiez à rendre un travail sans faute afin de progresser.
Voici mon texte :
One day, Andefra, a immigrant went to the Immigration Officer. Maria, a civil servant told he his identity was confirmed. Moreover, his papers was confirmed. Andefra was officialy England citizen.
A few minutes later, he collected his allowance and he bought some shopping. He was so happy to be freedom ! Buy all he wants, it was so good !
Moments later, at home, he thought that he could become a friend of his neighbours ! But actually, it was false. Because he was disturbed by the neighbours' music, he decided to requested if they could turn down the music but a man called Paul told him "go home" by calling he "sponger". Andefra had insisted politely and Paul seem dislike Andefra !
At the evening, Andefra read Harry Potter.
Days later, when he came home from Sainsbury's, in front of the Elevator, he met Paul's son. He wanted to speak with the younger man, whereas Paul told him to don't speak with Andefra. A few seconds later, Paul's wife cAME and she apologized her husband and her son.
When the lift arrived, a muslim family left the Elevator and because Andrefa wanted to be polite, he said hello, and any answer ! He was confused thereafter and he didn't understand the reason why they don't answer !
He came in the lift with Thomas and his mother.
Suddenly the lift arrived at the floor twenty, they left the elevator. On the contrary of her husband, Jenny (paul's wife) was nice to meet Andefra. As regards Thomas, he wanted to shake Andrefa's hand.
Pourriez-vous me corriger les fautes
Merci d'avance,
Alexandre.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 03-11-2011 21:04
Réponse: Résumé/my country de alexandredu29, postée le 03-11-2011 à 20:58:16 (S | E)
Ce n'est pas que je veuille vous presser mais je vais bientôt devoir aller me coucher sachant qu'il faut que je recopie
Par pitié, aidez-moi !
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Modifié par lucile83 le 03-11-2011 21:07
Réponse: Résumé/my country de lucile83, postée le 03-11-2011 à 21:03:21 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Merci de patienter un peu car les membres du site sont sans doute occupés ailleurs (vie de famille ou activité professionnelle par exemple); dès qu'un membre pourra vous aider il le fera.
Cordialement.
Essayez de programmer votre travail un peu mieux si possible
Réponse: Résumé/my country de alexandredu29, postée le 03-11-2011 à 21:05:19 (S | E)
D'accord merci ah et pour organiser mieux le travail, on va dire que le professeur nous a "un peu" pris au dépourvu, le devoir en question a été annoncé ce matin...
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Modifié par lucile83 le 03-11-2011 21:14
Ah ok! un devoir sup en guise de punition...
Réponse: Résumé/my country de alexandredu29, postée le 03-11-2011 à 21:24:37 (S | E)
Oui mais c'est pour la classe entière x)
Réponse: Résumé/my country de alienor64, postée le 03-11-2011 à 23:28:12 (S | E)
Bonsoir !
Juste quelques corrections :
- " Anfreda , an immigrant , went to ....."
- " Maria , a civil servant, told him his identity......"
- " His papers were confirmed "
- " Andrefa was officialy an English citizen " .
- " he was so happy to be free " ( Free= libre ( adj.) Freedom = Liberté ( nom)
- " to buy all he wants "
- " ....he decided to request ...."
- " ...by calling him " sponger " " .
- " Anfreda politely insisted and Paul seemed to dislike Anfreda "
- " In the evening , Anfreda read ..."
- " Opposite the elevator , he met Paul's wife ."
- " He wanted to speak to the young man " ( Younger étant le comparatif de Young , n'est pas adapté ici )
- " Whereas Paul told him not to speak to Anfreda "
- " Paul' s wife came and she apologized for her husband and her son "
- " ...a muslim family went out the elevator ..."
- " and , no answser ! "
- " ...the reason they didn't answser to him "
- " ...the lift arrived at the twentieth floor "
- " Unlike her husband , Jenny ( Paul's wife )..."
- " Out of consideration for Thomas , she wanted to shake Annferda's hand "
Bonne nuit !
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Modifié par lucile83 le 03-11-2011 23:31
Merci pour votre participation mais il est préférable de signaler les fautes, et d'apporter son aide plutôt que de faire le travail qui n'aura plus qu'à être recopié.
Cordialement.
(Merci d'en tenir compte à l'avenir.)
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