English sentences/cover letter

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English sentences/cover letter
Message from kyal posted on 11-01-2012 at 14:30:18 (D | E | F)
Hello,

I'm a French student currently trying to get an internship in England and I've got some problems with my cover letter.
There are some sentences I just can't get right so I would like to know whether it would be possible to get some help. Maybe they're already correct but.. I'm not sure anyway so I prefer to check.
Here are the sentences :

- As a student in Master « Languages and Intercultural Negotiations » at the Edam University
(not sure about the "as a student" part)

- Moreover, I'm someone really motivated concerning the professional field.
(What I want to say is that I'm motivated about all the professional matters/environment and so on)

- I send you this letter to demonstrate the interest I have for your enterprise.
(not sure about how to phrase this)

Thanks in advance.

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Edited by lucile83 on 11-01-2012 14:39

Re: English sentences/cover letter from may, posted on 12-01-2012 at 02:57:46 (D | E)
Hello,

I am trying to make sense what you would like to put here:
- As a student in Master « Languages and Intercultural Negotiations » at the Edam University
(not sure about the "as a student" part)

The point is:
It's not a sentence. It's a phrase.
So if it's really a phrase as you would want, then the phrase must be completed after all, for example:

As a student in Master « Languages and Intercultural Negotiations » at the Edam University, I......

Re: English sentences/cover letter from notrepere, posted on 12-01-2012 at 03:59:51 (D | E)
Hello

- As a student in Master « Languages and Intercultural Negotiations » at the Edam University
(not sure about the "as a student" part)

As a master's student in ... at Edam University (no 'the' before Edam)

- Moreover, I'm someone really motivated concerning the professional field.
(What I want to say is that I'm motivated about all the professional matters/environment and so on)

I don't understand what you mean.

- I send you this letter to demonstrate the interest I have for your enterprise.
(not sure about how to phrase this)

I am sending you this letter because of the interest I have for your company.

It would help to see your whole letter. It's hard to understand it from these short sentences.

Re: English sentences/cover letter from yummysukey, posted on 19-01-2012 at 04:55:00 (D | E)
Hello,

- As a student in Master « Languages and Intercultural Negotiations » at the Edam University
(not sure about the "as a student" part)

- Moreover, I'm someone really motivated concerning the professional field.
(What I want to say is that I'm motivated about all the professional matters/environment and so on)

- I send you this letter to demonstrate the interest I have for your enterprise.
(not sure about how to phrase this)

The first sentence, if you mean that you've got a master degree in that discipline or you're trying to get one, so you can say [I am a student of Edam University who is major in Language and International Negotiations ]

The second one,[Furthermore, I am the one who are competitive in doing the professional tasks and brave enough to face new challenges.

The last one, [I am really interested in your enterprise and I sincerely hope that I can get the opportunity and become an intern of your company.I'm looking for forward for your reply.]

Hope that I can help you.

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Edited by lucile83 on 19-01-2012 08:05

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