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Correction/WW II
Message de rayane07 posté le 21-03-2012 à 21:55:04 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'aimerais que vous corrigiez les erreur de ma rédaction, s'il vous plait (Celle-ci contient de la voix passive).
Merci pour vos réponses.
Dear, my dearest mummy,
I miss you so much! During the trip several children get sick but not me. I’m in a host family very naughty: Mr and Mrs. Barksdale. They are farmers. They make me sleep on straw in basement and make me eat the rest of the food. I’m obliged to milk cows and goats mornings.
At school, has all student make fun of me and the master does not even punished. Even children of Mr and Mrs. Barksdale: Teddy and Betty make fun of me. For example yesterday, I was catapulted cow dung as I finished my shower. I want to runaway but I'm afraid of bombs.
I miss you much and I hope that World War II is over to come see you. Dad and grandmother, I miss them too! I love you with all my heart.
PS: When I get home maybe, I made your apple pie that I love so much!
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Modifié par lucile83 le 21-03-2012 22:05
Message de rayane07 posté le 21-03-2012 à 21:55:04 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'aimerais que vous corrigiez les erreur de ma rédaction, s'il vous plait (Celle-ci contient de la voix passive).
Merci pour vos réponses.
Dear, my dearest mummy,
I miss you so much! During the trip several children get sick but not me. I’m in a host family very naughty: Mr and Mrs. Barksdale. They are farmers. They make me sleep on straw in basement and make me eat the rest of the food. I’m obliged to milk cows and goats mornings.
At school, has all student make fun of me and the master does not even punished. Even children of Mr and Mrs. Barksdale: Teddy and Betty make fun of me. For example yesterday, I was catapulted cow dung as I finished my shower. I want to runaway but I'm afraid of bombs.
I miss you much and I hope that World War II is over to come see you. Dad and grandmother, I miss them too! I love you with all my heart.
PS: When I get home maybe, I made your apple pie that I love so much!
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 21-03-2012 22:05
Réponse: Correction/WW II de gerondif, postée le 21-03-2012 à 22:21:41 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Dear, my dearest mummy,(bizarre, ce dear isolé en début de phrase.)
I miss you so much! During the trip several children get (prétérit)sick but not me (I didn't irait aussi). I’m in a host family very naughty(1) l'adjectif vient devant le nom! 2) nasty serait plus fort que naughty): Mr and Mrs. Barksdale. They are farmers. They make me sleep on straw in the basement (j'aurais dit: in the barn, dans la grange) and make me eat the rest of the food.(dans ce cas, vous êtes bien nourri, on vous fait une faveur. "les restes" se dit "left-overs") I’m obliged to (pas très naturel, I have to est bien plus courant)milk cows and goats mornings (in the morning est plus courant).
At school, has(que vient faire ce verbe avoir ici ? il y a tous les élèves qui se moquent de moi ??) all student(pluriel) make fun of me and the master does not even punished them. Even children of(un cas possessif('s) serait mieux) Mr and Mrs. Barksdale: Teddy and Betty make fun of me. For example yesterday, I was catapulted cow dung as I finished my shower. I want to run away but I'm afraid of bombs.
I miss you so much and I hope that World War II is(ce présent est surprenant) over to come and see you. Dad and grandmother, I miss them too! I love you with all my heart.
PS: When I get home, maybe I made (1) il faut du futur, pas du prétérit 2) vous êtes sure du sujet I ? j'aurais plutôt mis "you") your apple pie that I love so much!
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