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Correction/ mes vacances
Message de lollipopz posté le 25-03-2012 à 14:50:15 (S | E | F)
Bonjour tout le monde !
Mon professeur m'a demandé d'écrire un article de magazine pour un ami anglais sur mes vacances.
C'est la première fois que je le fais, donc je ne suis pas sûre de ma mise en page, et s'il faut donner un titre. Si vous pouviez me conseiller, m'arranger quelques phrases, et mes horribles fautes, ce serait super !
(je ne sais pas si j'ai mis ce sujet au bon endroit
)
Hi readers !
My name's is Léa and I'm in Year 10, at Jules Verne's middle school. Today, I will speak about holidays. Unlike the others, my holidays always change between see, ocean, montain, cities, rivers and country.
Last year, for example,I went to the seaside. Every morning, I used to go jogging near the sea with my dad and my cousin. In the afternoon, I used to go for a swim with my family. And next, we used to walk on sand. It was really fun but really healthy ! You must try ! But the travel by car was very long and tiring.
For this year's holiday, I will go to Italy, in Toscane near Florence. I'm really joyous because this trip will allow me to improve my Italian !
This magazine's article is usual to change your holiday : playstation, xbox, computer, and web. You don't need to go halfway around the world, if you just put your nose out, you would see that you can have fun without your game consoles ! You will take advantage more of your holidays, and you will have better health !
Try to try !
Léa
Merci d'avance !
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 25-03-2012 16:00
Message de lollipopz posté le 25-03-2012 à 14:50:15 (S | E | F)
Bonjour tout le monde !
Mon professeur m'a demandé d'écrire un article de magazine pour un ami anglais sur mes vacances.
C'est la première fois que je le fais, donc je ne suis pas sûre de ma mise en page, et s'il faut donner un titre. Si vous pouviez me conseiller, m'arranger quelques phrases, et mes horribles fautes, ce serait super !
(je ne sais pas si j'ai mis ce sujet au bon endroit
)Hi readers !My name's is Léa and I'm in Year 10, at Jules Verne's middle school. Today, I will speak about holidays. Unlike the others, my holidays always change between see, ocean, montain, cities, rivers and country.
Last year, for example,I went to the seaside. Every morning, I used to go jogging near the sea with my dad and my cousin. In the afternoon, I used to go for a swim with my family. And next, we used to walk on sand. It was really fun but really healthy ! You must try ! But the travel by car was very long and tiring.
For this year's holiday, I will go to Italy, in Toscane near Florence. I'm really joyous because this trip will allow me to improve my Italian !
This magazine's article is usual to change your holiday : playstation, xbox, computer, and web. You don't need to go halfway around the world, if you just put your nose out, you would see that you can have fun without your game consoles ! You will take advantage more of your holidays, and you will have better health !
Try to try !
Léa
Merci d'avance !
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 25-03-2012 16:00
Réponse: Correction/ mes vacances de notrepere, postée le 25-03-2012 à 19:10:23 (S | E)
BonjourMy name's is Léa and I'm in Year 10, at Jules Verne's middle school. Today, I will speak about holidays. Unlike the others(1), my holidays always change between see, ocean, montain, cities, rivers and country.
Last year, for example,I went to the seaside. Every morning, I used to go jogging near the sea with my dad and my cousin. In the afternoon, I used to go for a swim with my family. And next, we used to walk on the sand. It was really fun but really healthy ! You must try it! But the travel(2) by car was very long and tiring.
For this year's holiday, I will go to Italy, in(3) Toscane (il faut traduire ce mot en anglais) near Florence. I'm really joyous (4) because this trip will allow me to improve my Italian!
This magazine's article is usual to change your holiday (5) : playstation, xbox, computer, and web. You don't need to go halfway around the world, if you just put your nose out (6), you would see that you can have fun without your game consoles! You will take advantage more (7) of your holidays, and you will have better health!
(1) Quelles d'autres? Do you mean the holidays of other people?
(2) gérondif (verbe en forme 'ing')
(3) mauvaise préposition
(4) Choisissez un autre adjectif
(5) Je ne comprends pas le sens de cet extrait
(6) ne se dit pas ; il faut une autre expression
(7) mal placé
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