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Aide/devoir
Message de fanny26 posté le 21-04-2012 à 09:19:33 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Pourriez-vous m'aider s'il vous plaît car mon devoir d'expression d'environ 300 mots doit être un dialogue.
Le sujetétait est le suivant:
une jeune esclave qui prend des cours de lecture avec une dame doit parler de cette femme à une autre esclave d'âge égal.
J'ai fait un brouillon de mon dialogue. Si vous pouviez m'indiquer les fautes que je n'ai pas eu la capacité de corriger j'en serais heureuse. Merci d'avance.
I walked quietly, joyful, because indeed, I went towards the meeting place. This is where the white woman offered me reading lessons. It had been two months that I followed the lessons delivered by the kind woman. I owed crossed cotton fields to go to the meeting point. But during the road I met another young slave:
“Hello Amanda”, I asked
“Hello Hannah”, she said, exhausted by the work. “Where are you going so happy?”
“Oh! It’s a secret you have to say it to nobody because if my teacher knows it I will be beaten”, I whispered.
“Believe me, I shall be dumb”, she repeated
“Two months ago I met a kind white woman. I was sitting beneath a large tree, when an aged white woman approached me. She suggested me learning me to read and to write. She has not prejudices about our life or our complexion. She comes from a Northern state where slavery had almost stopped. For two months on every Wednesday and on Saturday afternoon at about the five o'clock, she gives me lessons of reading and writing.”
“What luck, but if your master knows it you risk a lot.” she said with an enthusiastic tone.
“I know but this woman can change my future I feel stronger thanks to her, you can understand”, I said
“I would really like to meet her”, she interrupted me.
“If you come with me to my class this afternoon, I’m sure she can help you”, I replied
“All right but I have to escape towards my master. It is simple when he goes away to control the slaves in the cotton fields you join me under the tree you widely have time, he returns only in the evening”, I suggested, happy to help her.
“Okay, I'll say I'm going to get water to the river”, she said joyful.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 21-04-2012 09:27
Message de fanny26 posté le 21-04-2012 à 09:19:33 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Pourriez-vous m'aider s'il vous plaît car mon devoir d'expression d'environ 300 mots doit être un dialogue.
Le sujet
une jeune esclave qui prend des cours de lecture avec une dame doit parler de cette femme à une autre esclave d'âge égal.
J'ai fait un brouillon de mon dialogue. Si vous pouviez m'indiquer les fautes que je n'ai pas eu la capacité de corriger j'en serais heureuse. Merci d'avance.
I walked quietly, joyful, because indeed, I went towards the meeting place. This is where the white woman offered me reading lessons. It had been two months that I followed the lessons delivered by the kind woman. I owed crossed cotton fields to go to the meeting point. But during the road I met another young slave:
“Hello Amanda”, I asked
“Hello Hannah”, she said, exhausted by the work. “Where are you going so happy?”
“Oh! It’s a secret you have to say it to nobody because if my teacher knows it I will be beaten”, I whispered.
“Believe me, I shall be dumb”, she repeated
“Two months ago I met a kind white woman. I was sitting beneath a large tree, when an aged white woman approached me. She suggested me learning me to read and to write. She has not prejudices about our life or our complexion. She comes from a Northern state where slavery had almost stopped. For two months on every Wednesday and on Saturday afternoon at about the five o'clock, she gives me lessons of reading and writing.”
“What luck, but if your master knows it you risk a lot.” she said with an enthusiastic tone.
“I know but this woman can change my future I feel stronger thanks to her, you can understand”, I said
“I would really like to meet her”, she interrupted me.
“If you come with me to my class this afternoon, I’m sure she can help you”, I replied
“All right but I have to escape towards my master. It is simple when he goes away to control the slaves in the cotton fields you join me under the tree you widely have time, he returns only in the evening”, I suggested, happy to help her.
“Okay, I'll say I'm going to get water to the river”, she said joyful.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 21-04-2012 09:27
Réponse: Aide/devoir de gerondif, postée le 21-04-2012 à 09:40:49 (S | E)
Bonjour,
n'auriez-vous pas un peu abusé de traduction automatique, ou comme le dit Lucile, très mot à mot ?
je devais traverser les champs de coton:I owed crossed cotton fields
tu as largement le temps: you widely have time
pendant la route: during the road
vers les 5 heures ? at about the five o'clock
I walked quietly, joyful, because indeed, I went(imparfait) towards the meeting place. This is where the white woman offered me reading lessons. It had been two months that I followed the lessons delivered by the kind woman. I owed crossed cotton fields to go to the meeting point. But during the road I met another young slave:
“Hello Amanda”, I asked
“Hello Hannah”, she said, exhausted by the work. “Where are you going so happy?(structure à la française)”
“Oh! It’s a secret you have to say it to ((tell)nobody because if my teacher knows it I will be beaten”, I whispered.
“Believe me, I shall be dumb”, she repeated
“Two months ago I met a kind white woman. I was sitting beneath a large tree, when an aged(rare) white woman approached me. She suggested me learning me to read and to write. She has not prejudices about our life or our complexion. She comes from a Northern state where slavery had almost stopped. For two months on every Wednesday and on Saturday afternoon at about the five o'clock, she gives me lessons of reading and writing.”
“What luck, but if your master knows it you risk a lot.” she said with an enthusiastic tone.
“I know but this woman can change my future I feel stronger thanks to her, you can understand”, I said
“I would really like to meet her”, she interrupted me.
“If you come with me to my class this afternoon, I’m sure she can help you”, I replied
“All right but I have to escape(me sauver?) towards my master. It is simple when he goes away to control the slaves in the cotton fields you join me under the tree you widely have time, he returns(come back) only in the evening”, I suggested, happy to help her.
“Okay, I'll say I'm going to get (je dirai que je vais chercher de l'eau ?)water to the river”, she said joyful.
Réponse: Aide/devoir de lucile83, postée le 21-04-2012 à 09:44:57 (S | E)
Hello,
Vous avez traduit mot à mot de la pire façon qui soit
sans chercher à comprendre les nuances des mots.Exemple:
I owed crossed cotton fields to go to the meeting point. But during the road I met another young slave...
owe = devoir oui mais devoir quelque chose à quelqu'un
devoir/être obligé se traduit par un modal que vous connaissez vu votre âge
road = route matériellement parlant oui mais ici il s'agit de la route qu'on suit,le chemin qui nous mène à ...
teacher = maître oui mais d'école,ce qui n'est pas le cas ici
etc.
Avec un double click vous obtenez un dictionnaire en ligne;c'est très pratique
Lien internet
Il faut revoir beaucoup de vocabulaire.
Courage!
Hello gerondif,
je crois que c'est pire que le traducteur en ligne car
je devais traverser les champs de coton
est traduit correctement chez reverso
Réponse: Aide/devoir de fanny26, postée le 21-04-2012 à 13:33:15 (S | E)
Bonjour,
j'ai fait une première correction mais, je n'arrive pas à corriger certaines fautes que vous m'avez mises en évidence. Par exemple quelle chance je ne sais pas comment le corriger.
Merci.
I walked quietly, joyful, because indeed, I went towards the meeting place. This is where the white woman offered me reading lessons. It had been two months that I followed the lessons delivered by the kind woman. I had to cross cotton fields to go to the meeting point. But during the way I met another young slave:
“Hello Amanda”, I asked
“Hello Hannah”, she said, exhausted by the work. “Where are you going so happy?”
“Oh! It’s a secret you have to tell it to nobody because if my master knows it I will be beaten”, I whispered.
“Believe me, I shall be dumb”, she repeated
“Two months ago I met a kind white woman. I was sitting beneath a large tree, when an aged white woman approached me. She suggested me teaching me to read and to write. She hasn’t got prejudices about our life or our complexion. She comes from a Northern state where slavery had almost stopped. For two months every Wednesday and on Saturday afternoon at about five o'clock, she gives me lessons to read and write.”
“What luck, but if your master knows it you risk a lot.” she said with an enthusiastic tone.
“I know but this woman can change my future I feel stronger thanks to her, you can understand”, I said
“I would really like to meet her”, she interrupted me.
“If you come with me to my class this afternoon, I’m sure she can help you”, I replied
“All right but my master controls me. It is simple when he goes away to control the slaves in the cotton fields you join me under the tree you’ve got plenty of time, he comes back only in the evening”, I suggested, happy to help her.
“Okay, I'll say I'm going to get water to the river at the child of my master”, she said joyful.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 21-04-2012 15:01
Réponse: Aide/devoir de gerondif, postée le 21-04-2012 à 19:14:13 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
I walked quietly, joyful, because indeed, I went(temps à utiliser,imparfait, en ing) towards the meeting place. This is(prétérit) where the white woman offered me reading lessons. It had been two months that (ça faisait deux mois que ? transformez celà en structure avec depuis : present perfect + for + durée)I followed the lessons delivered by the kind woman. I had to cross cotton fields to go to the meeting point. But during the way I met another young slave:
“Hello Amanda”, I asked
“Hello Hannah”, she said, exhausted by the work. “Where are you going so happy?”
“Oh! It’s a secret you have to tell it to nobody because if my master knows it I will be beaten”, I whispered.
“Believe me, I shall be dumb”, she repeated
“Two months ago I met a kind white woman. I was sitting beneath a large tree, when an aged (pourquoi pas old ou elderly?)white woman approached me. She suggested me teaching me to read and to write(maladroit). She hasn’t got prejudices about our life or our complexion. She comes from a Northern state where slavery had almost stopped(sens? temps ?). For(depuis?) two months every Wednesday and on Saturday afternoon at about five o'clock, she gives(si for signifie depuis, ce présent est faux) me lessons to read and write.”
“What luck, but if your master knows it you risk a lot.” she said with an enthusiastic tone.
j'ai de la chance ne se dit pas mot à mot "
la forme exclamative avec un nom est:"What a car !!"
la forme exclamative avec un adjectif est:How beautiful your car is" Adaptez !
“I know but this woman can change my future I feel stronger thanks to her, you can understand” (do you understand serait mieux compris), I said
“I would really like to meet her”, she interrupted me.
“If you come with me to my class this afternoon, I’m sure she can help you”, I replied
“All right but my master controls (maladroit) me. (séparez, c'est l'autre fille qui répond non ?)
"It is simple: When he goes away to control the slaves in the cotton fields you join me under the tree. You’ve got plenty of time, he comes back only in the evening”, I suggested, happy to help her.
“Okay, I'll say I'm
Réponse: Aide/devoir de fanny26, postée le 22-04-2012 à 12:15:31 (S | E)
Merci, de nouveau pour ces corrections apportées à mon devoir.
Mais je ne comprends pas le temps que je dois utiliser à la première phrase: I went towards the meeting place. Pourriez-vous, s'il vous plait, m'éclaircir sur ce point.
Merci
Réponse: Aide/devoir de theo0000, postée le 22-04-2012 à 13:03:53 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Il faut utiliser le prétérit en -ing.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 22-04-2012 13:17
Mise en forme.
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