Dialogue/world peace

Dialogue/world peace
Message de flocon94 posté le 10-10-2012 à 12:55:04 (S | E | F)
Bonjour tout le monde !

J'ai un dialogue à rendre ce vendredi ! Et j'aimerais savoir s'il vous plaît si quelqu'un voudrait avoir la gentillesse de corriger ces quelques phrases que j'a sélectionnées de mon dialogue.

-I think Tom is relistic. As he says, the humans can make war without weapons,like using theirs legs to fight with each other.
The humans are humans after all. Furthermore he proved this theorie, which we see at the end of the story by himself.

-I see your point but Tom tries to kill his friend, even if he was acting nice with him before. He is a officier, his duty is to do everything to maintain the peace in the world. Therefore,he should be proud that his friend wants to keep peace. Even if he knows that, this fact is impossible, he has to talk kindly with his friend and not to try to kill him ! He has to keep his calm.

Merci beaucoup de corriger ce texte !

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Modifié par lucile83 le 10-10-2012 16:15

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Réponse: Dialogue/world peace de gerondif, postée le 10-10-2012 à 15:05:11 (S | E)
Bonjour,

Vous avez laissé des mots en français dans le texte.... l'ordre des mots est bien français aussi.....

-I think Tom is relistic(orthographe). As he says, the humans can make war without weapons,like using theirs legs to fight with each other.
The humans are humans after all. Furthermore he proved this theorie, which we see at the end of the story by himself(quel sens? l'histoire elle-même, il le prouve lui même ? il le prouve tout seul ?).

-I see your point but Tom tries to kill his friend, even if he was acting nice with him before. He is a officier, his duty is to do everything to maintain the peace in the world. Therefore,he should be proud that his friend wants to keep peace. Even if he knows that, this fact (maladroit)is impossible, he has to talk kindly with his friend and not to try to kill him ! He has to keep (his) calm.

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Réponse: Dialogue/world peace de bluestar, postée le 10-10-2012 à 15:33:37 (S | E)
Bonjour..

"..like using theirs legs to fight with each other" ???
Qu'est-ce que cela signifie?..do you mean "arms"?
Like using their arms to fight each other..?

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Réponse: Dialogue/world peace de flocon94, postée le 10-10-2012 à 18:42:41 (S | E)
Bonjour, merci beaucoup de vos corrections ! Oui je sais l'ordre est typique français !

Est ce que cela est juste maintenant ?

I think Tom is realist(orthographe). As he says, humans can make war without weapons,like using their legs or arms to fight with each other.
Humans are humans after all. Furthermore he proved this theory by himself, which we see at the end of the story. (je veux dire qu'il le prouve lui même).

-I see your point but Tom tries to kill his friend, even if he was acting nice with him before. He is a officer, his duty is to do everything to maintain peace in the world. Therefore,he should be proud that his friend wants to keep peace. Even if he knows that is impossible, he has to talk kindly with his friend and not to try to kill him ! He has to keep calm.

Et oui bluestar je veux dire : they will fight with their legs or arms. En fait ce Tom, un officier, pense que la paix est impossible. Même s'il n 'y a pas d'armes, les humain chercheront à se battre avec leurs pieds ou leurs mains.

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Réponse: Dialogue/world peace de gerondif, postée le 10-10-2012 à 18:49:54 (S | E)
Bonsoir,

I think Tom is realist(il faudrait l'adjectif). As he says, humans can make war without weapons,like using their legs or arms to fight with each other.
Humans are humans after all. Furthermore(Moreover est plus courant) he proved this theory by himself, which we can see at the end of the story. (je veux dire qu'il le prouve lui même).

-I see your point but Tom tries to kill his friend, even if he was acting nice with him before. He is a(devant un o, a devient ...) officer, his duty is to do everything to maintain peace in the world. Therefore,he should be proud that his friend wants to keep peace. Even if he knows that it is impossible, he has to talk kindly with his friend and to try not to kill him ! He has to keep calm.

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