Texte /Au pair

Texte /Au pair
Message de coralista posté le 30-10-2012 à 23:37:04 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,

J'ai rédigé un texte car j'aimerais postuler en tant que fille au pair et j'aimerais que quelqu'un corrige mes fautes s'il vous plait.
Merci beaucoup !

I am writing in response to your advertisement and I would like, if you wish, to be an au pair girl in your family. As indicated in my profile, I am student of law in first year, and I wish to specialize in the international law, that's why I would like to improve my English. An experience as an au pair girl is for me the more enriching experience which could arrive at me especially that I love children: to go for a walk, play with them, laugh with them. In my country, I am already used to baby-sit, I am close to them. I find your boys are so cute!

To travel for me is a big passion and I wish to discover the Canadian culture, your lifestyle, the beautiful landscapes of your country. I am used to living in a populated city, so for me to try an experience in the countryside would be fantastic. Especially with animals ;)

I don't have my driver's license for the moment (but I am in driving accompanied by a qualified driver with my parents, so I think to my driver's license before June) but I would like that you make me discover your country with excursions with your boys.

I practise English for 8 years already, Spanish for 5 years, Chinese during 3 years. My parents are both of Polish origin, so I have some knowledge in this language. And of course, I am fluent in French. I can make you learn French, it would be great ;)

I really hope that my application caught your attention, because you are my favorite family.

If you have questions, don't hesitate !

I look forward to hearing from you.


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Modifié par coralista le 30-10-2012 23:45

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Modifié par lucile83 le 30-10-2012 23:46

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Réponse: Texte /Au pair de bernard02, postée le 31-10-2012 à 01:02:21 (S | E)
Bonjour,

je ne fais qu'un survol rapide de votre texte car je suis trop fatigué pour le vérifier en détail. Mais, ne vous inquiétez-pas car des personnes plus expertes que moi et des anglophones vont s'en charger dans peu de temps.

En attendant, je vous laisse déjà 2 ou 3 points à revoir, je vous les ai repérés en bleu dans votre texte ci-dessous:

I am writing in response to your advertisement and I would like, if you wish, to be an au pair girl in your family. As indicated in my profile, I am student of law in first year, and I wish to specialize(autre orthographe en anglais/britannique) in the international law, that's why I would like to improve my English. An experience as an au pair girl is for me the more enriching experience which could arrive at me especially that I love children: to go for a walk, play with them, laugh with them. In my country, I am already used to baby-sit, I am close to them. I find your boys are so cute!

To travel for me is a big passion and I wish to discover the Canadian culture, your lifestyle, the beautiful landscapes of your country. I am used to living in a populated city, so for me to try an experience in the countryside would be fantastic. Especially with animals ;)

I don't have my driver's license for the moment (but I am in driving accompanied by a qualified driver with my parents, so I think to my driver's license before June) but I would like that you make me discover your country with excursions with your boys.

I practise English for 8 years already, Spanish for 5 years, Chinese during 3 years. My parents are both of Polish origin, so I have some knowledge in this language. And of course, I am fluent in French. I can make you learn French, it would be great ;)

I really hope that my application caught your attention, because you are my favorite (autre orthographe en anglais/britannique) family.

If you have questions, don't hesitate !

I look forward to hearing from you.

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Réponse: Texte /Au pair de notrepere, postée le 31-10-2012 à 04:30:41 (S | E)
Bonjour

I am writing in response to your advertisement and I would like, if you wish, to be an au pair girl in your family. As indicated in my profile, I am student of law in first year(1), and I wish to specialize in the international law, that's which is why I would like to improve my English. An experience as an au pair girl is for me the more enriching experience which could arrive at me especially (2) that I love children: to go for a walk, play with them, laugh with them. In my country, I am already used to baby-sit (3), I am close to them. I find your boys are so cute!

To travel for me (4) is a big passion and I wish to discover the Canadian culture, your lifestyle, the beautiful landscapes of your country. I am used to living in a populated city, so for me to try an experience in the countryside would be fantastic. Especially with animals ;)

I don't have my driver's license for the moment (5) (but I am in driving accompanied by a qualified driver with my parents, so I think to my driver's license before June (2)) but I would like that you make me discover your country with excursions with your boys (6).

I practise (7) English for 8 years already, Spanish for 5 years, Chinese during (8) 3 years. My parents are both of Polish origin (9), so I have some knowledge of this language. And of course, I am fluent in French. I can make you (10) learn French, it would be great ;)

I really hope that my application caught (11) your attention, because you are my favorite family (12).

If you have questions, don't hesitate !

I look forward to hearing from you.

(1) mal construit : I am a first year law school student
(2) cet extrait n'a aucun sens
(3) je comprends, mais on dirait: I am already an experienced babysitter.
(4) mal construit : Travelling, for me, is...
(5) at the moment
(6) construction trop française
(7) temps (le mot 'already' demande un temps particulier)
(8) during ne va pas
(9) 'descent' est plus courant
(10) construction très impolie en anglais ; il faut que vous appreniez le français ?
(11) present perfect vaut mieux
(12) vous connaissez cette famille ??

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Réponse: Texte /Au pair de coralista, postée le 31-10-2012 à 10:08:50 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup de votre aide

J'ai rectifié les erreurs :

I am writing in response to your advertisement and I would like to be an au pair in your family. As indicated in my profile, I am a first year law school student, and I wish to specialize in international law, which is why I would like to improve my English. An experience as an au pair is for me the more enriching experience, especially that I love children: to go for a walk, play with them, laugh with them. In my country, I am already an experienced babysitter , I am close to them. And I find your boys are so cute!

Travelling for me is a big passion and I wish to discover the Canadian culture, your lifestyle, the beautiful landscapes of your country. I am used to living in a populated city, so for me to try an experience in the countryside would be fantastic. Especially with animals ;)

I don't have my driver's license at the moment but I would like that you make me discover your country with excursions with your boys.

I have practiced English for 8 years already, Spanish for 5 years, Chinese for 3 years. My parents are both of Polish descent, so I have some knowledge of this language. And of course, I am fluent in French. Ici, je voulais dire "Je pourrai vous faire apprendre le français" mais c'est un peu compliqué

I really hope that my application has caught your attention. If you have questions, don't hesitate !

I look forward to hearing from you.

Par contre, je n'ai pas trouvé d’équivalent à "spécialiser".

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Réponse: Texte /Au pair de bernard02, postée le 31-10-2012 à 11:52:16 (S | E)
Bonjour,

"Par contre, je n'ai pas trouvé d’équivalent à "spécialiser"."

je voulais dire que si vous vous exprimez en anglais/britannique (c'est ce qui est privilégié par les professeurs d'anglais en France, me semble-t-il), vous devez changer une lettre dans le mot que vous avez écrit. Par contre, son orthographe en l'état est correcte en anglais/américain.

Je suis désolé car je n'ai pas encore le temps de regarder votre nouveau texte pour le moment, et je n'aurai probablement pas le temps avant ce soir. Tant pis, mais "don't worry", de beaucoup plus grands experts vous répondront sûrement avant moi.

Bon courage.

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Modifié par bernard02 le 31-10-2012 11:53

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Réponse: Texte /Au pair de bluestar, postée le 31-10-2012 à 12:27:20 (S | E)
Bonjour..J'ai fait quelques suggestions ci-dessous..

I am writing in response to your advertisement and I would like to be an au pair in your family. As indicated in my profile, I am a first year law school student, and I wish to specialize in international law, which is why I would like to improve my English. An experience as an au pair is would be for me the more a very enriching experience, especially that since I love children: to go for a walk with them, play with them, laugh with them. In my country, I am already an experienced babysitter , so I am close to them. And I find your boys are so cute!

Travelling for me is a big passion and I wish to discover the Canadian culture, your lifestyle, the beautiful landscapes of your country. I am used to living in a populated big city, so for me to try an experience in the countryside would be fantastic,. Especially with animals ;)

I don't have my driver's license at the moment but I would like that you make me perhaps I could discover your country with through excursions with your boys.

I have practiced English for 8 years already, Spanish for 5 years, Chinese for 3 years. My parents are both of Polish descent, so I have some knowledge of this language. And of course, I am fluent in French. Ici, je voulais dire "Je pourrai vous faire apprendre le français" mais c'est un peu compliqué (I will help you learn French)I really hope that my application has caught your attention. If you have questions, don't hesitate to ask me!

I look forward to hearing from you.

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Modifié par bluestar le 31-10-2012 12:28

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