Préparation toefl /aide

Préparation toefl /aide
Message de belively posté le 24-01-2013 à 10:55:23 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,

Je ne sais pas si c'est trop en demander, mais comme vous le savez sûrement je me prépare pour le toefl. Mais, je ne peux pas me corriger toute seul. Donc si vous pouviez y jeter un coup d'oeil ce serait sympa.
J'ai fait d'autres rédactions mais je n'ose pas les mettre. :/
Merci pour vos réponses.,

Subject : 2) Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In school, thanks to our teachers we learn how to solve a mathematical problem, a new language nonetheless there are some things that we can not learn in school and that requiere parents’ knowledge. On my opinion,I disagree with the statements “ parents are the best teachers”, to some extent.

First of all, on the personal plan parents are not the best teachers but the most important. Since our childhood until our ripe age, parents teach us things like how to walk, how to talk. For instance, a father learn to his little boy how to use toillets.My former philosopher teacher, told me about a survey that had pouve until 10 years, boys and girl saw their parents like heros. The example that had been given was a father and his little boy. After a long while and work, the sociologist came to the observation that the boy was repeting the same action that his father was doing : same expression when he was angry, cheerful. Thus, that prove that parents have a control ( on the good way) on us that give them the opportunity to use it with the aim of doing their parental teaching role. They have this kind of an unbroken link with their children that no one else have ont them. In that way we can hardly not say, parents are the most important teachers. On the tof of being teachers, parents are also example to their children.
Unfortunatly, sometimes parents are not the best teachers but the worse. For instance, after the first year of college, we have to choose our orientation, a friend of mine choose to go in the literrature section but her father did not saw things on that way. He want that her daughter go in the scientist section, despite of the teachers’, advice in order to be a doctor. As a result, she failed on the sit baccalaureat exam and even more important she was not studing what she want it to do, she lost a year and she was unhappy. Plus, sometimes parents love for their children can block off their judgement. What I mean is that they offer all the child want, he have no bounderies. Parents think that if they offer him gifts, we will be more serious in school. I have already seen that once with my own little brother. As a matter of fact, my parents tough that if they encourage him with gifts, he will be a better student at school. Luckily, they understand fast enough and became more stringent with him. And, I noticed an increase of his marks.

Finally, I desagree with the statements “ parents are the best teacher “ because that one does not involve others way to learn. It has been said “ we learn from our mistake”. As far as I am concerned, our own experience is a noteworthy way to learn. Returning the earlier example about my friend, next time she would take her own decision regarding her orientation.

To put it in a nutshell, It seems to me that parents are not the best teachers but the most important. In fact, our own experiences and mistackes are good teachers, too.

Juste une petite question de vocabulaire, comment auriez-vous dit "je parle en connaisance de cause".
Encore une fois merci beaucoup !!!!!!!!!!!!

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Modifié par lucile83 le 24-01-2013 11:17
Vous pouvez poster vos rédactions bien sûr; elles seront corrigées selon la disponibilité des membres.

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Réponse: Préparation toefl /aide de ariette, postée le 24-01-2013 à 19:46:18 (S | E)

Revoir la punctuation et la forme des verbes en particulier la 3° personne du sing du présent.

In prep school, thanks to our teachers we learn how to solve a mathematical problem, a new language nonetheless there are some things that we can not learn in school and that require parents’ knowledge. in my opinion dans la conclusion ,I disagree with the statement “ parents are the best teachers”, to some extent.

First of all, on the personal plan parents are not the best teachers but the most important. Since our childhood until our ripe voc age, parents teach us things like how to walk, how to talk. For instance, a father learn voc to his little boy how to use toilets. My former philosopher teacher, told me about a survey that had proved until 10 years construction , boys and girl saw their parents like heroes. The example that had been given was a father and his little boy. After a long while and work, the sociologist came to the observation that the boy was repeating the same action that his father was doing : same expression when he was angry, cheerful. Thus, that prove form verb. that parents have a control (on the good way) on us that give them the opportunity to use it with the aim of doing their parental teaching role. They have this kind of unbroken link with their children that no one else have on them. In that way we can hardly. not say, parents are the most important teachers. On the tof ??of being teachers, parents are also example to their children.
Unfortunately, sometimes parents are not the best teachers but the worse. For instance, after the first year of college, we have to choose our orientation, a friend of mine choose temps to go in the literature section but her father did not saw things on that way. He want that constr her daughter go in the scientist section, despite of the teachers’ advice in order to be a doctor. As a result, she failed [on the sit] baccalaureat exam and even more important she was not studying what she want it ? to do, she lost a year and she was unhappy. Plus, sometimes parents love for their children can block off their judgement. What I mean is that they offer all the child want, he have no boundaries. Parents think that if they offer him gifts, we will be more serious in school. I have already seen that once with my own little brother. As a matter of fact, my parents tough that if they encourage him with gifts, he will be a better student at school. Luckily, they understand concordance fast enough and became more stringent with him. And, I noticed an increase of his marks.

Finally, I disagree with the statement “ parents are the best teacher “ because that one does not involve others way to learn. It has been said “ we learn from our mistake une seule ? ”. As far as I am concerned, our own experience is a noteworthy way to learn. Returning the earlier example about my friend, next time she would take her own decision regarding her orientation.

To put it in a nutshell, It seems to me that parents are not the best teachers but the most important. In fact, our own experiences and mistakes are good teachers, too.

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Réponse: Préparation toefl /aide de belively, postée le 28-01-2013 à 21:06:42 (S | E)
Bonsoir,

First of all thanks you very much for your time and your help. I'm really greatful.
I don't understand why we can not say " In school" ?
It is not in my opinion but on my opinion.
Adulthood instead of ripe age.
Vocabulary-wise, I don't understand why learn is not correct ? Maybe teach would be more appropriate. It isn't a father learn but learns.
My former philosopher teacher, told me about a survey that had proved until 10 years. It is more correct : has proved for ten years.
Thus, it proves instead of thus that prove.
I don't understand why "give" is wrong.
No one else "have", I don't understand why it is wrong ?
It is on the top and not " tof" it is I guess a typing error.
Examples and not example.
Not choose but chose.
did not see instead of did not saw.
Not he want that her ... but he want her ...
Not despite of but despite or in spite of.
Why " what she want" is not correct ?
Not plus but moreover.
all the child wantS, I guess.
Not he have no boundaries but he has no boundaries.
They understand fast enough and become more ...
" parents are the best teachers".
others wayS.
Why returning is not correct ?
Thanks a lot.

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Réponse: Préparation toefl /aide de ariette, postée le 29-01-2013 à 15:33:45 (S | E)
Hello,

I don't understand why we can not say «In school»?