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Message de arnaud7914 posté le 16-04-2013 à 20:00:18 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Comme dit dans le titre, je vais bientôt passer l'expression orale d'anglais pour le bac. Je viens de faire un résumé type sur un de mes thèmes : India on the move
J'espère que vous pourrez corriger mes éventuelles fautes,
Merci d'avance
Is India on the move ? This is a good question which we studied many documents in the beginning of the year. First of all, we are going to present India today, then we’ll see what changed between before and now, at last we’ll determine what India is going to become in the future.
In 2011, India’s population represented 17.5% of the world’s population (1.2 billion), life expectancy was only about 67, which is low. We could count 55 billionaires in India whereas, at the same time, 42 % of Indians lived below 80 pounds a day in 2005, as we can see, inequality is extremely strong in that country between the haves and the have-nots, there is a huge social gap. The Indians are mainly Hinduism (80%). Moreover, 600 000 girls go missing every years and in three generations, more than 50 million women have been selectively eliminated through infanticide, dowry-related murders and other gendercide practices. We can only be disgusted with all this.
Yet, we can have noticed many shifts for several years. Agriculture and Industry are sectors of activity that are declining in favor of the services, population is fast-growing and the percentage of people living below 80 pounds decreased from 60% in 1981 to 42% in 2005 and cast system is over. Nowadays, everyone can go from poverty to wealth, which is a huge shift. India jumped full-force onto the microfinance bandwagon and the industry has been growing at 70% annually over the past five years. Many Indians stemming from the poorest villages use microfinance to extricate themselves and their families from poverty. Earlier, people wanted to leave India while today, people want to stay.
What’s going to happen next ? India’s population is going to continue growing until 1.7 billion in 2050, cities will become more and more modern. Hopefully, inequality will be lower and most people will be on an equal footing. Gendercide pratices will disappear and all together, the Indians will work to build a better country as they respect equality of anybody wherever they come from. Therefore, they will be glad of their country and what it became.
To conclude, India is on the move, it’s beginning better, inequality is falling while gendercide pratices won’t exist anymore, India is turning into a modern country but a big trouble is going to accentuate itself, it is its population. The numbers of citizens will be so big that it’s maybe what is going to brake India evolution.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 16-04-2013 21:43
Message de arnaud7914 posté le 16-04-2013 à 20:00:18 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Comme dit dans le titre, je vais bientôt passer l'expression orale d'anglais pour le bac. Je viens de faire un résumé type sur un de mes thèmes : India on the move
J'espère que vous pourrez corriger mes éventuelles fautes,
Merci d'avance
Is India on the move ? This is a good question which we studied many documents in the beginning of the year. First of all, we are going to present India today, then we’ll see what changed between before and now, at last we’ll determine what India is going to become in the future.
In 2011, India’s population represented 17.5% of the world’s population (1.2 billion), life expectancy was only about 67, which is low. We could count 55 billionaires in India whereas, at the same time, 42 % of Indians lived below 80 pounds a day in 2005, as we can see, inequality is extremely strong in that country between the haves and the have-nots, there is a huge social gap. The Indians are mainly Hinduism (80%). Moreover, 600 000 girls go missing every years and in three generations, more than 50 million women have been selectively eliminated through infanticide, dowry-related murders and other gendercide practices. We can only be disgusted with all this.
Yet, we can have noticed many shifts for several years. Agriculture and Industry are sectors of activity that are declining in favor of the services, population is fast-growing and the percentage of people living below 80 pounds decreased from 60% in 1981 to 42% in 2005 and cast system is over. Nowadays, everyone can go from poverty to wealth, which is a huge shift. India jumped full-force onto the microfinance bandwagon and the industry has been growing at 70% annually over the past five years. Many Indians stemming from the poorest villages use microfinance to extricate themselves and their families from poverty. Earlier, people wanted to leave India while today, people want to stay.
What’s going to happen next ? India’s population is going to continue growing until 1.7 billion in 2050, cities will become more and more modern. Hopefully, inequality will be lower and most people will be on an equal footing. Gendercide pratices will disappear and all together, the Indians will work to build a better country as they respect equality of anybody wherever they come from. Therefore, they will be glad of their country and what it became.
To conclude, India is on the move, it’s beginning better, inequality is falling while gendercide pratices won’t exist anymore, India is turning into a modern country but a big trouble is going to accentuate itself, it is its population. The numbers of citizens will be so big that it’s maybe what is going to brake India evolution.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 16-04-2013 21:43
Réponse: Expression orale/ BAC de violet91, postée le 16-04-2013 à 22:14:06 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Is India on the move ? This is a good question which we studied X (omission /préposition) many documents in the beginning of the year. First of all, we are going to present India today, then we’ll see what changed ( present perfect) between before and now, at last we’ll determine what India is going to become in the future.
, at(in) the same time, 42 % of Indians lived below 80 pounds a day in 2005, as we can see, inequality is extremely strong( un autre adj.?) The Indians are mainly Hinduism( nom) (80%). Moreover, 600 000 girls go missing every years( oh!) and : assertion suivante un peu dangereuse à amener ici : sauf si c'est écrit noir/blanc dans vos livres scolaires
Yet, we can have noticed many shifts for several years. Agriculture and Industry are sectors of activity that are declining in favour( anglais) of the services, population is fast-growing and the percentage of people living below 80 pounds X ( aux.present perfect) decreased from 60% in 1981 to 42% in 2005 and cast system( the system of...) is over. Nowadays, everyone ( are you convinced?)can go from poverty to wealth, which is a huge shift. India X (aux.present perfect : vous faites un constat aujourd'hui)jumped( to leap is better) full-force onto the microfinance bandwagon and the industry has been growing at 70% annually over the past five years. , people want ( tend to..) to stay.
. Gendercide pratices will disappear ( trop d'assertions encore) and all together, the Indians will work to build a better country as they respect equality of anybody wherever they come from. Therefore, they will be glad of their country and what it X( aux.present perfect). became.
To conclude, India is on the move, it’s beginning better, inequality is falling while gendercide pratices won’t exist anymore, India is turning into a modern country but a( art.défini) big trouble which is going to accentuate itself( mal dit), it is its population. The numbers of citizens will be so big that it’s maybe it might brake India evolution.
Hello,
Je suis allée à l'essentiel . Le texte est long . Ce qui paraît évident , c'est que vous déclarez les faits et l'avenir comme une certitude . Ce point de vue si 'péremptoire' est absolument déconseillé partout et au bac , encore plus. Il faut dire les choses même vraies
en les 'atténuant' et non en les assénant comme vérités brutales . On attend de la modération et que votre point de vue personnel ne s'exprime ( prudemment ) que si on vous le demande . Good luck .
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Modifié par lucile83 le 16-04-2013 22:26
Réponse: Expression orale/ BAC de arnaud7914, postée le 22-04-2013 à 19:36:28 (S | E)
Tout d'abord merci pour cette réponse rapide, je me pose cependant quelques questions par rapport aux corrections apportées.
Vous avez dit "This is a good question which we studied X (omission /préposition) many documents", la préposition est-elle "with" ? J'admets que même en français, je ne vois pas trop comment je pourrais tourner cette phrase ...
Vous me reprenez le "at the same time" en le remplacant par "in the same time", je ne comprend pas ...
Peu après, dans cette phrase "the percentage of people living below 80 pounds X ( aux.present perfect) decreased from 60% in 1981 to 42% in 2005", vous m'indiquez de mettre le present perfect, or c'est un évènement qui est daté (1981, 2005)
Puis, vous me soulignez : they respect equality of anybody wherever they come from. J'avoue ne pas savoir comment former cette phrase qui, en francais, voudrait dire "ils respectent l'égalité de quiconque d'où qu'ils viennent"
Enfin, je cherche à traduire "s'accentuer" qui, je m'en doute bien, ne se traduit pas par "accentuate itself"
Merci.
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Modifié par arnaud7914 le 22-04-2013 19:41
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Modifié par lucile83 le 23-04-2013 05:33
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