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Message de popikoju posté le 22-04-2013 à 16:04:34 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je suis étudiante en tourisme et je rentre d'un semestre en Espagne. J'ai un résumé/ commentaire de texte à réaliser en anglais sur un livre en anglais (A room with a view, E.M Forster), mais après tout ce temps à parler 24h/24 en espagnol, eh bien...l'anglais devient difficile!
C'est pourquoi j'ai besoin de votre aide, j'ai rédigé au fur et à mesure de ma lecture mon résumé mais j'aimerais avoir une correction si certains ont le temps
pour votre aide.
Lucy and Charlotte arrived in the pension Bertolini in Florence where they have reserved a room with a view but she hasn’t a view. So, Charlotte make like a scandal during the dinner, and an old man, Mr. Emerson purpose to make an exchange of room because he and his son has a view and the view over the Arno have no value for them but for the women, yes. But, at the first time Charlotte refuses because Mr. Emerson wasn’t of the same social background and Charlotte doesn’t like this. In reality, she refuses because she believes may be Mr. Emerson putting them under an obligation. Mr. Beebe, a clergyman who knows Lucy, apologizes for the lack of view but he knows Mr. Emerson and he goes to speak with him in the smoking room. During Mr.Beebe speak with Mr. Emerson; Lucy and her chaperone speak with two old ladies about the city and Mr. Emerson. After his discussion with Mr. Emerson, Mr. Beebe comes back for said at the ladies that it’s all right about the rooms. Charlotte and Lucy go in her each room with a view, Charlotte inspected all part of her room, and at the wall she find a sheet of paper with a note of interrogation and she keeps for George, Emerson’s son.
The first day, Mrs. Bartlett was tired and she wants to stay at the pension but Lucy would go outdoors. Mrs. Lavish purpose at Lucy to go to Santa Croce for a long morning, Lucy goes with her but during this walk, Mrs. Lavish, speaks too much and they are lost. But after a moment of adventure they find Santa Croce, and they saw the Emersons. Mrs. Lavish leaves Lucy for a moment and after ten minutes, Lucy wants to meet her, but she ran away. Lucy was alone, in an unknown city. She entered in the building without real interest, after she looks the tourist and especially a little boy who has failed, and at the same time, Mr. Emerson speaks at this little boy too. She joins us, with hesitation but she joins us and she spend good time with us at visit the church and speak with Emerson’s father about his son. Mrs. Bartlett was too in the church; Lucy joins us and come back to the pension.
Another day, a wet day, Lucy stay at pension for play piano and Mrs. Bartlett go to visit Torre
Lucy decides to go out when the weather is better; she goes to the piazza Signora where she was witness of a murder. She faint, fortunately here, there is George, and he carried her. Lucy doesn’t want the other people of the pension know this history; it’s a secret between us.
The next day, Mr. Beebe purpose an excursion at Torre del Galo with the Emersons and Mrs. Bartlett and Mrs. Lavish. During this excursion, Lucy kissing George and Mrs. Bartlett surprises them.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 22-04-2013 21:53
Message de popikoju posté le 22-04-2013 à 16:04:34 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je suis étudiante en tourisme et je rentre d'un semestre en Espagne. J'ai un résumé/ commentaire de texte à réaliser en anglais sur un livre en anglais (A room with a view, E.M Forster), mais après tout ce temps à parler 24h/24 en espagnol, eh bien...l'anglais devient difficile!
C'est pourquoi j'ai besoin de votre aide, j'ai rédigé au fur et à mesure de ma lecture mon résumé mais j'aimerais avoir une correction si certains ont le temps
pour votre aide.Lucy and Charlotte arrived in the pension Bertolini in Florence where they have reserved a room with a view but she hasn’t a view. So, Charlotte make like a scandal during the dinner, and an old man, Mr. Emerson purpose to make an exchange of room because he and his son has a view and the view over the Arno have no value for them but for the women, yes. But, at the first time Charlotte refuses because Mr. Emerson wasn’t of the same social background and Charlotte doesn’t like this. In reality, she refuses because she believes may be Mr. Emerson putting them under an obligation. Mr. Beebe, a clergyman who knows Lucy, apologizes for the lack of view but he knows Mr. Emerson and he goes to speak with him in the smoking room. During Mr.Beebe speak with Mr. Emerson; Lucy and her chaperone speak with two old ladies about the city and Mr. Emerson. After his discussion with Mr. Emerson, Mr. Beebe comes back for said at the ladies that it’s all right about the rooms. Charlotte and Lucy go in her each room with a view, Charlotte inspected all part of her room, and at the wall she find a sheet of paper with a note of interrogation and she keeps for George, Emerson’s son.
The first day, Mrs. Bartlett was tired and she wants to stay at the pension but Lucy would go outdoors. Mrs. Lavish purpose at Lucy to go to Santa Croce for a long morning, Lucy goes with her but during this walk, Mrs. Lavish, speaks too much and they are lost. But after a moment of adventure they find Santa Croce, and they saw the Emersons. Mrs. Lavish leaves Lucy for a moment and after ten minutes, Lucy wants to meet her, but she ran away. Lucy was alone, in an unknown city. She entered in the building without real interest, after she looks the tourist and especially a little boy who has failed, and at the same time, Mr. Emerson speaks at this little boy too. She joins us, with hesitation but she joins us and she spend good time with us at visit the church and speak with Emerson’s father about his son. Mrs. Bartlett was too in the church; Lucy joins us and come back to the pension.
Another day, a wet day, Lucy stay at pension for play piano and Mrs. Bartlett go to visit Torre
Lucy decides to go out when the weather is better; she goes to the piazza Signora where she was witness of a murder. She faint, fortunately here, there is George, and he carried her. Lucy doesn’t want the other people of the pension know this history; it’s a secret between us.
The next day, Mr. Beebe purpose an excursion at Torre del Galo with the Emersons and Mrs. Bartlett and Mrs. Lavish. During this excursion, Lucy kissing George and Mrs. Bartlett surprises them.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 22-04-2013 21:53
Réponse: Résumé/correction de popikoju, postée le 23-04-2013 à 15:53:50 (S | E)
Il est possible de changer le titre de mon sujet ?
Je souhaiterais mettre "correction de résumé".
Merci.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 23-04-2013 21:41
Titre modifié
Réponse: Résumé/correction de kourai, postée le 23-04-2013 à 16:40:19 (S | E)
Bonjour,popikoju,
je me permets de vous donner un conseil: il faut déjà complètement revoir votre texte en regardant seulement les temps: vous sautez d'un temps à l'autre avec une désinvolture qui donne le tourniquet...
Le texte est très long et un texte mal soigné ne donne pas envie de le corriger...
Donc courage, regardez les temps déjà. Ce ne sont pas les seules erreurs, mais ça sera déjà mieux.
Kouraï
Réponse: Résumé/correction de popikoju, postée le 23-04-2013 à 17:05:39 (S | E)
D'accord, je vais regarder ça! C'est une des principales remarques que me font mes professeurs à chaque fois, j'ai beaucoup de mal avec ça. Je le corrige, le complète car j'ai presque fini de le lire et je le poste de nouveau.
Merci !
Réponse: Résumé/correction de popikoju, postée le 23-04-2013 à 17:07:48 (S | E)
Pardon pour le smiley! Je voulais mettre celui-ci
Réponse: Résumé/correction de popikoju, postée le 23-04-2013 à 17:32:37 (S | E)
Lucy and Charlotte arrived in the pension Bertolini in Florence where they have been booked a room with a view but they have not a view. So, Charlotte doing a scandal during the dinner, and an old man, Mr. Emerson proposes to exchange the rooms because he and his son have a view and the view over the Arno had no value for them but for the women, yes. But, at the first time Charlotte refused because Mr. Emerson isn’t of the same social background and Charlotte doesn’t like this. In reality, she refused because she believes may be Mr. Emerson will put them under an obligation.
Mes corrections de temps sur cet extrait sont-elles bonnes ?
Réponse: Résumé/correction de kourai, postée le 23-04-2013 à 21:10:55 (S | E)
Bonsoir,popikoju,
no problem for the smiley...
Non, malheureusement, ce n'est pas encore ça. Et malheureusement, je n'aurai pas le temps ce soir...
Lucy and Charlotte arrived in the pension Bertolini in Florence where they have been booked (pourqoui un passif?0=) a room with a view but they have not a view. (pourquoi présent?)
So, Charlotte doing a scandal during the dinner, and an old man, Mr. Emerson proposes (pourquoi présent?)
to exchange the rooms because he and his son have a view and the view over the Arno had no value for them but for the women, yes. But, at the first time Charlotte refused because Mr. Emerson isn’t of the same social background and Charlotte doesn’t like this. (pourquoi le présent?)
In reality, she refused because she believes (pourquoi le présent??) may be Mr. Emerson will put them under an obligation.
Bon courage! Et essayez de faire des petites phrases, plus faciles à gérer...
Kouraï
Réponse: Résumé/correction de bernard02, postée le 24-04-2013 à 03:29:32 (S | E)
Bonjour,
il y a effectivement un gros problème de concordance des temps dans votre texte. Dans un premier temps, je vous conseille de reprendre entièrement ce texte en mettant tous les verbes au passé (preterit ou past perfect selon les cas), puis de le poster à nouveau. Je vous rappelle que le present perfect (HAVE + participe passé du verbe) n'est pas un temps du passé, il est utilisé pour une action commencée dans le passé mais qui continue dans le présent.
Cordialement.
Réponse: Résumé/correction de popikoju, postée le 24-04-2013 à 20:24:44 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Merci pour vos conseils !
Nouvelle tentative de correction :
Lucy and Charlotte arrived in the pension Bertolini in Florence where they had have booked a room with a view but they had not a view. So, Charlotte doing a scandal during the dinner, and an old man, Mr. Emerson proposed to exchange the rooms because he and his son had a view.The view over the Arno had no value for them but for the women, yes. But, at the first time Charlotte refused because Mr. Emerson isn’t of the same social background and Charlotte didn’t like this. In reality, she refused because she believed may be Mr. Emerson will put them under an obligation.
C'est mieux ? (J'espère
)Réponse: Résumé/correction de kourai, postée le 25-04-2013 à 06:54:45 (S | E)
Bonjour, popikoju,
oui, concernant les temps, c'est mieux, mais pas encore tout à fait juste
Lucy and Charlotte arrived (ok)in the pension Bertolini in Florence where they had have booked (en français, ça donnerait: où elles avaient eu réservé une chambre. Bizarre, non? c'est plutôt: où elles avaient réservé une chambre!)
a room with a view but they had not a view. (on ne dit pas: not a view...)
So, Charlotte doing a scandal during the dinner, and an old man, Mr. Emerson proposed to exchange the rooms : le"and" entre les deux phrases ne passe pas en anglais. Ca donnerait: parce que Charlotte faisait un scandale pendant le diner, et un vieux monsieur,...
because he and his son had a view.
The view over the Arno had no value for them but for the women, yes. But, at the first time (l'expression est fausse: ça donne plutôt; pour la première fois, mais vous voulez dire "d'abord", je pense) Charlotte refused because Mr. Emerson isn’t (il faut respecter le temps donné dans le récit ici aussi!)
of the same social background and Charlotte didn’t like this. In reality, she refused because she believed may be Mr. Emerson will put them under an obligation. (ici aussi, le temps n'est pas correct).
Courage!
Kouraï
Réponse: Résumé/correction de popikoju, postée le 25-04-2013 à 12:38:18 (S | E)
Bonjour Kouraï, merci pour votre aide, je fais mon maximum!
Voici le paragraphe après une nouvelle correction.
Lucy and Charlotte arrived in the pension Bertolini in Florence where they had booked
a room with a view but they hadn't a view.
So, Charlotte doing a scandal during the dinner, this is when an old man, Mr. Emerson proposed to exchange the rooms because he and his son had a view.
The view over the Arno had no value for them but for the women, yes. But, first of all (en premier lieu convient mieux ?)Charlotte refused because Mr. Emerson wasn’t of the same social background and Charlotte didn’t like this. In reality, she refused because she believed may be Mr. Emerson wanted put them under an obligation.
Bonne après-midi! & encore merci
Mélody.
Réponse: Résumé/correction de kourai, postée le 25-04-2013 à 18:53:19 (S | E)
bonsoir,
Lucy and Charlotte arrived in the pension Bertolini in Florence where they had booked
a room with a view but they hadn't a view. (mieux: it had no view)
So, Charlotte doing a scandal during the dinner, this is when an old man, Mr. Emerson proposed to exchange the rooms because he and his son had a view.
(on ne peut dire comme ça, la liaison entre la premiere et deuxieme partie n'est pas correct
The view over the Arno had no value for them but for the women, yes. But, first of all (en premier lieu convient mieux ?) - il vaut mieux dire tout simplement: but first - Charlotte refused because Mr. Emerson wasn’t of the same social background and Charlotte didn’t like this. In reality, she refused because she believed may be Mr. Emerson wanted (après want il y a l'infinitif avec "to") put them under an obligation.
kourai
Réponse: Résumé/correction de kourai, postée le 25-04-2013 à 19:00:47 (S | E)
Bonsoir, tout le monde,
en fait, je ne pourrai plus "suivre" popikoju dans ses efforts pour des raisons de santé en ce moment.
Merci de le soutenir!
Kourai
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Modifié par lucile83 le 25-04-2013 22:15
Ok kourai, we'll go on helping him.
Take care!
Réponse: Résumé/correction de popikoju, postée le 25-04-2013 à 23:46:48 (S | E)
Merci de votre aide! J'espère que quelqu'un va prendre votre relais !
Bon rétablissement !
J'ai continué ma correction, la voici :
Lucy and Charlotte arrived in the pension Bertolini in Florence where they had booked a room with a view but it had no view. So, Charlotte doing a scandal during the dinner, it is then an old man, Mr. Emerson proposed to exchange the rooms because he and his son had a view and the view over the Arno had no value for them but for the women, yes. But first, Charlotte refused because Mr. Emerson wasn’t of the same social background and Charlotte didn’t like this. In reality, she refused because she believed may be Mr. Emerson wanted to put them under an obligation.
Mr. Beebe, a clergyman who knew Lucy, apologized for the lack of view but he knew Mr. Emerson and he went to speak with him in the smoking room. During Mr. Beebe spoke with Mr. Emerson; Lucy and her chaperone spoke with two old ladies about the city and Mr. Emerson. After his discussion with Mr. Emerson, Mr. Beebe came back for said at the ladies that it’s all right about the rooms. Charlotte and Lucy went to her each room with a view, Charlotte inspected all part of her room, and at the wall she found a sheet of paper with a note of interrogation and she kept for George, Emerson’s son.
The first day, Mrs. Bartlett was tired and she wanted to stay at the pension but Lucy wanted go outdoors. Mrs. Lavish purposed at Lucy to go to Santa Croce for a long morning, Lucy went with her but during this walk, Mrs. Lavish, spoke too much and they were lost. But after a moment of adventure they found Santa Croce, and they sawed the Emersons. Mrs. Lavish leaved Lucy for a moment and after ten minutes, Lucy wanted to meet her, but she ran away. Lucy was alone, in an unknown city. She entered in the building without real interest, after she looked the tourist and especially a little boy who had failed, and at the same time, Mr. Emerson spoke at this little boy too. She joined us, with hesitation but she joined us and she spent good time with us at visited the church and spoke with Emerson’s father about his son. Mrs. Bartlett was too in the church; Lucy joined Charlotte and came back to the pension.
The wet afternoon, Lucy stayed at pension for play piano and Mrs. Bartlett & Mrs. Lavish went to the hills.
Lucy decided to go out when the weather was better; she went to the piazza Signora where she was witness of a murder. She fainted, fortunately here, there was George, and he carried her. Lucy didn’t want the other people of the pension knew this history; it was a secret between us.
The next day, Mr. Beebe proposed an excursion at Fiesole with the Emersons and Mrs. Bartlett and Mrs. Lavish. But before to go out, Charlotte and Lucy made a walk in the city, and they crossed Mrs. Lavish who said she took the murder of yesterday for the book she were writing. And, then they crossed Mr. Eager, they spoke about the Emerson’s. Mr. Eager spoke about the death of Emerson wife’s, maybe it’s Mr. Emerson who had murder her. Finally, they went to the post office where Lucy received a letter of her family where it was mentioned that the Vyse’s were in Rome, Lucy didn’t knows them but Charlotte said they were clever and nice. Lucy wanted to go here, but for the moment they went to the walk with George Emerson and Miss Lavish, Mr. Eager and Mr. Beebe, during this excursion, Lucy kissed George and Mrs. Bartlett had surprised them. Charlotte seemed to have missed her duty, and when they came back at the pension, she spoke with Lucy and decided to went to Rome the next day at the morning.
After, the history took place in Windy Corner, where Lucy’s family lived. Lucy had accepted a marriage of Cecil Vyse. Freddy, brother of Lucy and Mr. Beebe, seemed didn’t like this man. A garden party was organized by Mrs. Honeychurch, Lucy had spilt a cup of coffee over her dress, and she must clean this. During this time, Cecil was alone and he didn’t like this, he was disappointed by the situation and when Lucy came back, he said at her that he didn’t like this kind of party. They were in Summer Street and they saw two houses which one was available to rent. Lucy spoke with Sir Harry Otway about this house for Miss Catharina Alan and Miss Teresa. Then, they went to a walk in the wood, he kissed Lucy for the first time, but it was a little odd, it was as she didn’t like him.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 26-04-2013 07:52
Réponse: Résumé/correction de popikoju, postée le 26-04-2013 à 14:16:18 (S | E)
J'ai reçu un mail me notifiant une réponse à mon sujet, mais il n'y a rien...Où est-il passé ?
Réponse: Résumé/correction de taiji43, postée le 26-04-2013 à 18:05:08 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Je vais essayer de vous aider suivant mes possibilités de temps, de santé et de mes connaissances.
Vous avez mis les verbes au passé , c’est déjà l’ essentiel
Je vais regarder déjà les 10 premières lignes
Je dirais tout de suite :they had booked a room overlooking the Arno (car on ne savait pas sur quoi était la vue)
2.Au lieu du verbe to propose , il faudraitmieux employer to suggest ou to offer mais attention à la construction de ce verbe (regadez dans une grammaire l’emploi de to suggest au passé )
Vous avez 2 fois suggested dans le texte.
3.no value je mettrais pour sans attrait :a rather charmless room for them.
4. Il faudrait changerla phrase : but for the woman yes. Penser déjà à ce que vous diriez en français.
5.and Charlotte didn’t like this and Charlotte didn’t appreciated this social gap (disparité, cette différence de classe)
6.to put them under obligation je mettrais qu’ils lui soient redevables de cette offre
to be indebted to him for this offer.ëtre redevable de quelqu'un pour quelque chose
Il faut changer During par while (pendant que et apporter les modifications aux verbes qui suivent , pensez au français pendant que Mr Bee était en train de parler avec Mr Emerson...........
7.MR Beebee come back vers (en français) donc ce n’est pas for la bonne préposition
8. To say at the ladies at n’est pas la bonne préposition
9.that it’s all right je mettrais That they had found an agreement (accord) concerning the rooms
10. and she kept.... il manque le pronom)….for George.
Voilà je ne vais pas plus loin pour l’instant .
Vérifiez dans les dictionnaires pour les mots, les pépositions à employer
Il faudrait en fait refaire un résumé plus courDurant un examen on demande souvent 350 mots
Courage et demandons de l'aide aux très bons en anglais.
Réponse: Résumé/correction de popikoju, postée le 26-04-2013 à 20:12:52 (S | E)
Bonjour,
merci pour vos corrections.
Je ne peux pas faire un résumé plus court, justement je dois faire 2000 mots pour ce travail...
Voilà ce que ça donne une fois corrigé.
Lucy and Charlotte arrived in the pension Bertolini in Florence where they had booked a room overlooking the Arno but it had no view. So, Charlotte doing a scandal during the dinner, it is then an old man, Mr. Emerson offered to exchange the rooms because he and his son had a view and the view over the Arno had a rather charmless for them while for the women, yes. But first, Charlotte refused because Mr. Emerson wasn’t of the same social background and Charlotte didn’t appreciated this social gap. In reality, she refused because she believed may be were indebted to him for his offer.
Mr. Beebe, a clergyman who knew Lucy, apologized for the lack of view but he knew Mr. Emerson and he went to speak with him in the smoking room. While Mr. Beebe was speaking with Mr. Emerson; Lucy and her chaperone spoke with two old ladies about the city and Mr. Emerson. After his discussion with Mr. Emerson, Mr. Beebe came back to said to the ladies that they had found an agreement concerning the rooms. Charlotte and Lucy went to her each room with a view, Charlotte inspected all part of her room, and at the wall she found a sheet of paper with a note of interrogation and she kept it for George, Emerson’s son.
Réponse: Résumé/correction de taiji43, postée le 27-04-2013 à 18:00:14 (S | E)
Je reprends à nouveau les 10 premières lignes dont je n’avais pas tout examiné.
1.arrived in pension Bertolini : in Bertolini pension ???
2.On va changer toute la phrase à partir de Mr Emerson offra d’échanger les chambres car lui et son fils avaient une chambre avec une vue sur l’arno dont ils ne tiraient aucune satisfaction alors que les femmes étaient très intéressées par ce genre de chambre.
Essayer de traduire sans reprendre a rather charmless room. Regardez dans une grammaire pour dont.
3 ;But first , je mettrais :at the beginning
4 ; Charlotte refusa …Je pense qu’il faut mettre un complément soit she refused the offer.
5. She believed they seraient inbebted for this offer ajouter they et changer le temps du verbe.
6. Au lieu du verbe to speak je mettrais to talk. To talk to : parler à, to talk with :parler avec. Dans tout le texte où vous avez mis speak
7 ;Mr Beebe came back to said Mettre l’infinitif de ce verbe (said est au temps passé)
8 ; charlotte and lucy went to her each room .Je ne comprends pas ,elles ont 2 chambres ou une seule chambre ?
Avec une seule chambre on ne mettrait par her mais ….. puisqu’elles sont 2 dans la même chambre.
Si elles ont deux chambres j’ écrirais They went to their own room with a view.
9 ; at the wall : On the wall(si le papier est sur le mur).
Que de soucis pour remettre tout dans l’ordre. Nous appelons ceux qui voudraient bien aussi s’accrocher à ce texte.
La suite la prochaine fois. On fait ce que l’on peut.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 27-04-2013 18:29
Réponse: Résumé/correction de popikoju, postée le 27-04-2013 à 18:33:47 (S | E)
Lucy and Charlotte arrived in the pension Bertolini (je ne l'ai pas changé car le nom est comme ça tout au long du livre, un nom propre je pense) in Florence where they had booked a room overlooking the Arno but it had no view. So, Charlotte doing a scandal during the dinner, it is then an old man,Mr Emerson offered to exchange the rooms because he and his son had a room with a view over the Arno whose they earned no satisfaction whereas women were very interested by this kind of room . At the beginning, Charlotte refused the offer because Mr. Emerson wasn’t of the same social background and Charlotte didn’t appreciated this social gap. In reality, she refused because she believed may be they will be indebted to him for his offer.
Mr. Beebe, a clergyman who knew Lucy, apologized for the lack of view but he knew Mr. Emerson and he went to talk with him in the smoking room. While Mr. Beebe was talking with Mr. Emerson; Lucy and her chaperone talk with two old ladies about the city and Mr. Emerson. After his discussion with Mr. Emerson, Mr. Beebe came back to say to the ladies that they had found an agreement concerning the rooms. Charlotte and Lucy went to their own room with a view (elles ont chacune leurs chambres), Charlotte inspected all part of her room, and on the wall she found a sheet of paper with a note of interrogation and she kept it for George, Emerson’s son.
Réponse: Résumé/correction de lucile83, postée le 27-04-2013 à 19:02:43 (S | E)
Hello,
Les erreurs sont en bleu. En espérant que la correction soit faite sérieusement car on atteint quand même les 18 messages à force de devoir dire la même chose plusieurs fois.
Lucy and Charlotte arrived in the pension Bertolini (je ne l'ai pas changé car le nom est comme ça tout au long du livre, un nom propre je pense) in Florence where they had booked a room overlooking the Arno but it had no view. So, Charlotte doing a scandal during the dinner, it is then an old man,Mr Emerson offered to exchange the rooms because he and his son had a room with a view over the Arno whose they earned no satisfaction whereas women were very interested by this kind of room . At the beginning, Charlotte refused the offer because Mr. Emerson wasn’t of the same social background and Charlotte didn’t appreciated this social gap. In reality, she refused because she believed may be they will be indebted to him for his offer.
Mr. Beebe, a clergyman who knew Lucy, apologized for the lack of view but he knew Mr. Emerson and he went to talk with him in the smoking room. While Mr. Beebe was talking with Mr. Emerson, Lucy and her chaperone talk with two old ladies about the city and Mr. Emerson. After his discussion with Mr. Emerson, Mr. Beebe came back to say to the ladies that they had found an agreement concerning the rooms. Charlotte and Lucy went to their own room with a view (elles ont chacune leurs chambres), Charlotte inspected all part of her room, and on the wall she found a sheet of paper with a note of interrogation and she kept it for George, Emerson’s son.
Réponse: Résumé/correction de popikoju, postée le 27-04-2013 à 19:10:15 (S | E)
Merci!
Bien sûr qu'elle est faite sérieusement! Je fais les corrections au fur à mesure qu'on me les donne.
18 messages et nous n'en sommes qu'au 2ème paragraphe ! C'est grave ?
J'ai réellement besoin de ces corrections et de réussir au mieux ce travail pour valider mon année.
Réponse: Résumé/correction de popikoju, postée le 27-04-2013 à 19:21:57 (S | E)
Voici la correction.
En bleu, ce sont les éléments où je ne vois pas quelle est l'erreur commise.
Merci de votre aide !
Lucy and Charlotte arrived in the pension Bertolini (je ne l'ai pas changé car le nom est comme ça tout au long du livre, un nom propre je pense) in Florence where they had booked a room overlooking the Arno but it had no view. So, Charlotte made a scandal during the dinner, it is then an old man,Mr Emerson offered to exchange the rooms because he and his son had a room with a view over the Arno of which they earned no satisfaction whereas women were very interested in this kind of room . At the beginning, Charlotte refused the offer because Mr. Emerson wasn’t of the same social background and Charlotte didn’t appreciate this social gap. In reality, she refused because she believed may be they will be indebted to him for his offer.
Mr. Beebe, a clergyman who knew Lucy, apologized for the lack of view but he knew Mr. Emerson and he went to talk to him in the smoking room. While Mr. Beebe was talking to Mr. Emerson, Lucy and her chaperone talk to two old ladies about the city and Mr. Emerson. After his discussion with Mr. Emerson, Mr. Beebe came back to say to the ladies that they had found an agreement concerning the rooms. Charlotte and Lucy went to their own room with a view (elles ont chacune leurs chambres), Charlotte inspected all part of her room, and on the wall she found a sheet of paper with a question mark and she kept it for George, Emerson’s son.
Réponse: Résumé/correction de lucile83, postée le 27-04-2013 à 20:36:53 (S | E)
Hello,
Vous pouvez faire un double clic sur le mot clé et obtenir ainsi un dictionnaire en ligne qui vous donnera toutes les informations. Cherchez en anglais et en français pour croiser les infos.
Si vous ne trouvez pas, tant pis, ça restera en bleu.
Lucy and Charlotte arrived in the pension Bertolini in Florence where they had booked a room overlooking the Arno but it had no view. So, Charlotte made a scandal during the dinner, it is then an old man,Mr Emerson offered to exchange the rooms because he and his son had a room with a view over the Arno of which they earned no satisfaction whereas women were very interested in this kind of room . At the beginning, Charlotte refused the offer because Mr. Emerson wasn’t of the same social background and Charlotte didn’t appreciate this social gap. In reality, she refused because she believed may be they will be indebted to him for his offer.
Mr. Beebe, a clergyman who knew Lucy, apologized for the lack of view but he knew Mr. Emerson and he went to talk to him in the smoking room. While Mr. Beebe was talking to Mr. Emerson, Lucy and her chaperone talk...prétérit to two old ladies about the city and Mr. Emerson. After his discussion with Mr. Emerson, Mr. Beebe came back to say to the ladies that they had found an agreement concerning the rooms. Charlotte and Lucy went to their own room with a view, Charlotte inspected all part of her room, and on the wall she found a sheet of paper with a question mark and she kept it for George, Emerson’s son.
Réponse: Résumé/correction de popikoju, postée le 27-04-2013 à 20:52:44 (S | E)
Ah je ne connaissais pas cette astuce, merci!
Bon là je pense que c'est bon. Pour l'emploi du "dont" je ne vois pas ce que ça peut être si ce n'est ni "whose" ni of which ..
Lucy and Charlotte arrived in the pension Bertolini in Florence where they had booked a room overlooking the Arno but it had no view. So, Charlotte made a scene during the dinner, it is then an old man,Mr Emerson offered to exchange the rooms because he and his son had a room with a view over the Arno whose they had no satisfaction whereas women were very interested in this kind of room . At the beginning, Charlotte refused the offer because Mr. Emerson wasn’t of the same social background and Charlotte didn’t appreciate this social gap. In reality, she refused because she believed perhaps they will be indebted to him for his offer.
Mr. Beebe, a clergyman who knew Lucy, apologized for the lack of view but he knew Mr. Emerson and he went to talk to him in the smoking room. While Mr. Beebe was talking to Mr. Emerson, Lucy and her chaperone talked to two old ladies about the city and Mr. Emerson. After his discussion with Mr. Emerson, Mr. Beebe came back to say to the ladies that they had found an agreement concerning the rooms. Charlotte and Lucy went to their own room with a view, Charlotte inspected full part of her room, and on the wall she found a sheet of paper with a question mark and she kept it for George, Emerson’s son.
Réponse: Résumé/correction de lucile83, postée le 27-04-2013 à 21:12:15 (S | E)
Hello,
Lucy and Charlotte arrived in the pension Bertolini in Florence where they had booked a room overlooking the Arno but it had no view. So, Charlotte made a scene during the dinner,
Mr. Beebe, a clergyman who knew Lucy, apologized for the lack of view but he knew Mr. Emerson and he went to talk to him in the smoking room. While Mr. Beebe was talking to Mr. Emerson, Lucy and her chaperone talked to two old ladies about the city and Mr. Emerson. After his discussion with Mr. Emerson, Mr. Beebe came back to say to the ladies that they had found an agreement concerning the rooms. Charlotte and Lucy went to their own room with a view, Charlotte inspected full part of her room, and on the wall she found a sheet of paper with a question mark and she kept it for George, Emerson’s son.
-dont on est satisfait..dont n'a rien à voir avec la possession whose/of which; il faut trouver la préposition qui traduirait je suis satisfait DE ...
-toutes les parties de la chambre ou chaque partie
Réponse: Résumé/correction de popikoju, postée le 27-04-2013 à 21:27:26 (S | E)
So, Charlotte made a scene during the dinner, it is then an old man,Mr Emerson, offered to exchange the rooms because he and his son had a room with a view over the Arno with they had no satisfaction whereas women were very interested in this kind of room .
Charlotte and Lucy went to their own room with a view, Charlotte inspected (the whole room/ the room everywhere)full part of her room, and on the wall she found a sheet of paper with a question mark and she kept it for George, Emerson’s son.
Cela convient-il mieux ?
Réponse: Résumé/correction de lucile83, postée le 27-04-2013 à 23:09:21 (S | E)
Hello,
So, Charlotte made a scene during the dinner, then an old man,Mr Emerson, offered to exchange the rooms because he and his son had a room with a view over the Arno they had no satisfaction/they were not satisfied with, whereas women were very interested in this kind of room .
Charlotte and Lucy went to their own room with a view. Charlotte inspected the whole room/each part of her room, and on the wall she found a sheet of paper with a question mark. She kept it for George, Emerson’s son.
J'ai rectifié le tout. Attention à 2/3 mots supprimés, ou déplacés + ponctuation.
Vous voyez que vous êtes arrivée au bout!
Réponse: Résumé/correction de popikoju, postée le 27-04-2013 à 23:41:58 (S | E)
Oui je vais finir par avancer! Pour la suite je corrige ce que je peux et je le poste de nouveau ici ?
J'aurais besoin d'aide dans mes 2 autres sujets aussi, sur les définitions et le second sur un commentaire du même livre.
Merci!
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Modifié par lucile83 le 28-04-2013 00:03
Réponse: Résumé/correction de lucile83, postée le 28-04-2013 à 00:02:40 (S | E)
Hello
Pour la suite il vaudrait mieux couper le texte en 2 parties et ouvrir 2 topics car sinon c'est trop long et les membres qui corrigent ne sont pas toujours disponibles.Ensuite ce sera à vous de rassembler les morceaux.
Vos autres sujets sont sur le forum; merci de patienter
Réponse: Résumé/correction de taiji43, postée le 29-04-2013 à 17:15:27 (S | E)
Lucile 83 on vous remercie de votre aide. Cela est un soulagement de savoir que ce qu'on propose n'est pas stupide.
Bonne journée
Taiji43jc
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Modifié par lucile83 le 29-04-2013 18:08
You are welcome. Thanks to you as well.
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