Papillon et péril /Thème et écoute

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Papillon et péril /Thème et écoute
Message de notrepere posté le 23-04-2013 à 04:54:54 (S | E | F)
Bonjour et Hello

Here is the next exercise which has an audio component. It's a piece of cake, no?

Papillon et péril
Niveau:
Correction: vers le 7 mai

I. Le Papillon (Thème)
Audio: Lien internet

(I've revealed all of the words so that everyone can participate without having to decipher the words.)

Parfois, des êtres se posent sur votre vie comme des papillons, sans prévenir. Ils arrivent chez vous par la porte...par la fenêtre. Ils peuvent être tellement insupportables que vous n'avez qu'une envie : les reconduire à la sortie. Et puis ils vous apprivoisent...on ne sait pas trop comment. Ils vous regardent vous empêtrer dans vos soucis, vos secrets, et puis vous métamorphosent...à votre insu. L'être qui s'est posé sur la vie de Julien est arrivé par la poste. Bon...j'exagère un petit peu. Disons en même temps que la poste. En même temps qu'un lot de sept cocons qu'il venait de recevoir et qui devaient donner, dix jours plus tard, de magnifiques papillons. C'était une gamine de huit ans et demi, pas plus haute que trois pommes. Ses cheveux étaient roux et ses petites joues, blanches comme la neige. Elle portait un jeans et un tee-shirt, comme ceux que les mômes portent à cet âge. La petite s'appelait Elsa. Elle n'avait pas de père et sa mère n'avait pas le temps de s'occuper d'elle.

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II. An Arrest by Ambrose Bierce
Retrouver les quatre mots manquants indiqués en bleu / Find the four missing words indicated in blue.
Audio: Lien internet
(**)

The night was pretty dark, with (4) visible, and as Brower had never dwelt thereabout, and knew nothing of the (4), he was, naturally, not long in losing himself.

He could not have said if he (4) from the town or going back to it--a most important matter to Orrin Brower. He knew that in either case a posse of citizens with a pack of bloodhounds would soon be on his track and his chance of (4); but he did not wish to assist his own pursuit. Even an added hour of freedom was worth having.

Suddenly he emerged from the forest (4), and there before him stood, indistinctively(*), the figure of a man, motionless in the gloom. It was too late to retreat: the fugitive felt that at the first movement back towards the wood he would be, as he afterward explained, "filled with buckshot." So the two (4), Brower nearly suffocated by the activity of his own heart; the other--the emotions of the other are not recorded.

Turning his back to his captor, he walked submissively away in the direction indicated, looking to neither the right nor the left; (4), his head and back actually aching with a prophecy of buckshot.

Eventually they entered the town, which was all alight, but deserted; only (4) remained, and they were off the streets. Straight towards the jail the criminal held his way. Straight up to the main entrance he walked, laid his hand upon the knob of (4), pushed it open without command, entered and found himself in the presence of a half-dozen armed men. Then he turned. Nobody else entered.

(*) This is not a real word in English. The original text says "indistinctly", which is the correct word. This word seems to be a combination of "instinctively and indistinctly".

(**) Since a couple of you have commented on the "accent" of the narrator, I asked one of my British acquaintances. She said the accent is "from the South of England...around Essex". Would you have rather had an American accent?

Réponse: Papillon et péril /Thème et écoute de violet91, postée le 23-04-2013 à 13:41:32 (S | E)
Hello and many thanks for giving a thrilling American excerpt de ce pauvre Ambroise !

Fait le 23 Avril . Je poste puisque plusieurs réponses sont maintenant arrivées.

The night was pretty dark, with neither moon nor stars visible, and as Brower had never dwelt thereabout, and knew nothing of the lay of the land he was, naturally, not long in losing himself.

He could not have said if he was getting farther away from the town or going back to it--a most important matter to Orrin Brower. He knew that in either case a posse of citizens with a pack of bloodhounds would soon be on his track and his chance of escape was very slender ; but he did not wish to assist his own pursuit. Even an added hour of freedom was worth having. ( What a splendid sentence!)

Suddenly he emerged from the forest into an open road and there before him stood, indistinctively*, the figure of a man, motionless in the gloom. It was too late to retreat: the fugitive felt that at the first movement back towards the wood he would be, as he afterward explained, "filled with buckshot." So the two stood there like trees Brower nearly suffocated by the activity of his own heart; the other--the emotions of the other are not recorded.

Turning his back to his captor, he walked submissively away in the direction indicated, looking to neither the right nor the left; hardly daring to breathe his head and back actually aching with a prophecy of buckshot.

Eventually they entered the town, which was all alight, but deserted; only the women and children remained, and they were off the streets. Straight towards the jail the criminal held his way. Straight up to the main entrance he walked, laid his hand upon the knob of the heavy iron door pushed it open without command, entered and found himself in the presence of a half-dozen armed men. Then he turned. Nobody else entered.

..........A suivre, I hope .

Réponse: Papillon et péril /Thème et écoute de mamou3, postée le 24-04-2013 à 09:01:43 (S | E)
First, thank you for this exercise. Listen and understand English people speakers is the most difficult exercise for me.
Then thank you for your choices, they are always so beautiful !
I began with the easier : Part 1

Sometimes, some beings come into your life like butterflies without warning you. They come into your house by the door, by the window. They can be so unbearable that you want only one thing : show them the way of the exit. And then, they tame you… We don’t know too much how. They watch you getting tangled up in your concerns, your secrets and then change you…without your knowledge. The being who came in Julien’s life arrived by post. Well…I have exaggerated a little bit. Let us say at the same time as the mail.
At the same time as a batch of seven cocoons which he had just received and which would become, ten days later, splendid butterflies. She was an 8 and a half year old kid high to a grasshopper. Her hair was red and her small cheeks white as snow. She wore a pair of jeans and a T-shirt like those the kids wear at this age. The little one was called Elsa. She didn’t have a father and her mother didn’t have time to take care of her.

I come back for the Part 2:

The night was pretty dark, with no moon or star visible, and as Brower had never dwelt thereabout, and knew nothing of the lay of the land, he was, naturally, not long in losing himself.

He could not have said if he was getting farther away from the town or going back to it--a most important matter to Orrin Brower. He knew that in either case a posse of citizens with a pack of bloodhounds would soon be on his track and his chance of escape was very slender; but he did not wish to assist his own pursuit. Even an added hour of freedom was worth having.

Suddenly he emerged from the forest into an open road, and there before him stood, indistinctively(*), the figure of a man, motionless in the gloom. It was too late to retreat: the fugitive felt that at the first movement back towards the wood he would be, as he afterward explained, "filled with buckshot." So the two stood there like trees, Brower nearly suffocated by the activity of his own heart; the other--the emotions of the other are not recorded.

Turning his back to his captor, he walked submissively away in the direction indicated, looking to neither the right nor the left; hardly daring to breathe, his head and back actually aching with a prophecy of buckshot.

Eventually they entered the town, which was all alight, but deserted; only the women and children remained, and they were off the streets. Straight towards the jail the criminal held his way. Straight up to the main entrance he walked, laid his hand upon the knob of the heavy iron door, pushed it open without command, entered and found himself in the presence of a half-dozen armed men. Then he turned. Nobody else entered.

Réponse: Papillon et péril /Thème et écoute de irish21, postée le 24-04-2013 à 11:00:42 (S | E)
Hello notrepere,
thank you for this exercise.
More and more difficult to translate, my brain is boiling

I- Sometimes people come into your life without prior warning, like butterflies landing on flowers. They get into your home through the door, the window.
They may be so annoying that the only thing you want is to oblige them to leave your home. And then they tame you...One doesn't know in what way.
They observe you and notice that you get enmeshed in your worries, your secrets, and then they transform you.. Behind your back.
The person who is come into Julien's life has arrived from the Post Office. Ok.. I am exaggerating a little bit. Let's say, at the same time as the Post
Office.
At the same time as a batch of seven cocoons that he had just received and from those cocoons eventually were to be born some beautiful butterflies
ten days later.
She was an eight-and a half-year-old tiny lassie, no higher than three apples. Her hair was red and her little cheeks were as white as snow.
She wore blue jeans and a t shirt, like those that nippers wear at this age. The name of the little girl was Elsa. She had no father and her mother
had no time to take care of her.

II- The night was pretty dark with neither moon nor stars visible...and knew nothing of the lay of the land...He could not have said if he was getting
farther away from the town...And his chance of escape was very slender...Suddenly he emerged from the forest into an old road...So the two stood
there like trees...Hardly daring to breathe, his head and back...Only the women and children remained...Laid his hand upon the knob of the heavy
iron door.

Réponse: Papillon et péril /Thème et écoute de ng, postée le 24-04-2013 à 23:02:06 (S | E)
Hello notrepere,

Thank you for the exercise. It was not a piece of cake for me to translate!

I. The butterfly
Occasionally, some beings come into your life, like butterflies, without warning. They come into your house by the door, through the window. They can be so unbearable you have only one desire: to shoo them away. And then, they tame you... you don't even know how.
They watch you getting tangled up in your worries, your secrets, and then they transform you, without you knowing it.
The person who settled in Julian's life arrived by post. All right, I'm exaggerating a little bit. Let's say at the same time as the post. At the same time as a batch of seven cocoons he had just received and which were supposed to become, ten days later, beautiful butterflies.
She was an eight-and-half-year old kid, knee-high to a grasshopper. She was red-haired with little cheeks, as white as snow. She was wearing jeans and a T shirt, like every kid at that age.
Her name was Elsa. She had no father and her mother didn't have any time to care for her.

II. An Arrest by Ambrose Bierce
The night was pretty dark, with neither moon or stars visible, and as Brower had never dwelt thereabout, and knew nothing of the lay of the land, he was, naturally, not long in losing himself.

He could not have said if he were getting farther away from the town or going back to it--a most important matter to Orrin Brower. He knew that in either case a posse of citizens with a pack of bloodhounds would soon be on his track and his chance of escape was very slender; but he did not wish to assist his own pursuit. Even an added hour of freedom was worth having.

Suddenly he emerged from the forest into an open road, and there before him stood, indistinctively*, the figure of a man, motionless in the gloom. It was too late to retreat: the fugitive felt that at the first movement back towards the wood he would be, as he afterward explained, 'filled with buckshot.' So the two stood there like trees, Brower nearly suffocated by the activity of his own heart; the other--the emotions of the other are not recorded.

Turning his back to his captor, he walked submissively away in the direction indicated, looking to neither the right nor the left; hardly daring to breathe, his head and back actually aching with a prophecy of buckshot.

Eventually they entered the town, which was all alight, but deserted; only the women and children remained, and they were off the streets. Straight towards the jail the criminal held his way. Straight up to the main entrance he walked, laid his hand upon the knob of the heavy iron door, pushed it open without command, entered and found himself in the presence of a half-dozen armed men. Then he turned. Nobody else entered.

and

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Modifié par ng le 24-04-2013 23:38
I'm sorry notrepere, I won't do it again...

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Modifié par ng le 25-04-2013 09:28
Thank you for your help notrepere... I corrected the translation, I hope I didn't do it worst...

Réponse: Papillon et péril /Thème et écoute de notrepere, postée le 24-04-2013 à 23:26:21 (S | E)
Hello all

You don't need to hide the English words that are the translation of the missing French words. I just wanted any English speakers to have the opportunity to decipher them. If they can decipher them from your translation, that's OK.

On n'a pas besoin de cacher les mots anglais qui manquent dans le texte français.

Réponse: Papillon et péril /Thème et écoute de aneth-estragon, postée le 25-04-2013 à 10:19:28 (S | E)
Thank you for this new exercise, and for your inspiring help
Occasionally, some beings happen to flutter into our lives like butterflies, without warning. They come in through our doors, our windows. Sometimes, they are so insufferable that our only wish is to get rid of them. But then they manage to tame us(7), nobody really knows how. They watch us entangle ourselves in our issues, our secrets, and then they transform us, without our being aware of it. The being that fluttered into Julien's life arrived through the mail. Well, I'm exaggerating. Let's say at the same time as the mail. At the same time as a set of seven cocoons he'd just received, that were to become, ten days later, wondrous butterflies. It was an eight-and-a-half-year-old girl, knee-high to a grasshopper. Her hair was red and her little cheeks were snow-white. She was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, like the ones kids wear at this age. The little girl was named Elsa. She was fatherless and her mother was lacking the time to take care of her.

I enjoyed the listening exercise that makes a nice change from the usual BBC English. Thank you for this too; I know the time it must have taken you to prepare it for us!
And above all, thank you for not picking the word "posse"
neither moon nor stars
lay of the land
were getting farther away
escape was very slender
into an open road
stood there like trees
hardly daring to breathe
the women and children
the heavy iron door

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Modifié par aneth-estragon le 07-05-2013 19:17
Dear Master, I crave your clemency; I persisted in using "tame" despite your warning me against it.
(7) Je crois que la phrase demande un verbe qui n'implique pas une délibération.
Yes, I do understand and I do deserve the bashing. But please consider my mistake as a tribute I wished to pay to Le Petit Prince

Réponse: Papillon et péril /Thème et écoute de nick27, postée le 26-04-2013 à 17:30:49 (S | E)
Hello,

Sometimes, people land on your life like butterflies land on flowers, without warning. They get into your house through the door or the window. They may be so irritating that the only thing you want is to take them right back out of the house. And then, they get you tame... no one really knows how. They watch you struggle with your issues, your secrets, and then, they change you.. without you noticing anything. The person who landed on Julien's life arrived by mail. Well... maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit. Let's say together with the mail. Together with seven cocoons that he had just received and that should turn into some wonderful butterflies ten days later. She was an eight and a half year old girl, just three apples tall. She had red hair and her small cheeks were as white as snow. She was wearing jeans and a t-shirt just like any other kid of her age. The little girl's name was Elsa. She didn't have a father and her mother didn't have time to take care of her.

neither moon nor stars
lay of the land
were getting farther away
escape was very slender
into an open road
stood there like trees
hardly daring to breathe
the women and children
the heavy iron door

Thanks notrepere !

Réponse: Papillon et péril /Thème et écoute de ariane6, postée le 27-04-2013 à 18:09:04 (S | E)
Bonjour NP !

The butterfly.
At times, some beings come into your life like butterflies, without any warning. They arrive at your home through the door or through the window.They can be so unbearable that you only have one desire: to make them leave. And then, they tame you...who knows how. They watch you caught up in your worries, your secrets, and then they change you...without you realising. The being who dropped into Julien's life arrived by post. Well...I'm exaggerating a little. Let's say at the same time as the mail. At the same time as a set of seven cocoons that he had just received and which ten days later, would turn into beautiful butterflies.
She was a kid of eight and half, knee-high to a grasshopper. Her hair was red and her little cheeks, white like snow.
She was wearing a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, like the ones kids wear at that age. The little girl was called Elsa. She had no father and her mother had no time to take care of her.

Pour la partie en anglais, j'ai entendu la même chose que mes camarades...
Merci beaucoup

Réponse: Papillon et péril /Thème et écoute de lucile83, postée le 28-04-2013 à 17:38:35 (S | E)
Hello dear

Thank you for this exercise I liked the speaker's accent though it is not the pure English accent
I am not used to ˈniːðər instead of ˈnaɪðə
Have a nice day, bright and sunny

The Butterfly
Sometimes, beings will land on your life like butterflies, without warning you.They enter your house through the door or the window. They can be so unbearable that you wish just a thing: show them the way out. And then they tame you…one doesn’t really know how they do. They watch you get trapped in your issues, your secrets, and then they change you…without letting you know it. The being that landed on Julien’s life came by mail. Well…I am overstating just a little. Let’s say at the same time as the mail. At the same time as a bundle of seven cocoons that he had just received and that would change, ten days later, into magnificent butterflies. She was a knee-high to a grasshopper kid aged 8 and a half. Her hair was red and her small cheeks were as white as snow. She was wearing jeans and a T-shirt, the same as the ones kids wear at that age. The little one was named Elsa. She had no father and her mother had no time to look after her.

Here are the English words missing in The Arrest:
neither moon nor stars
lay of the land
were getting farther away
escape was very slender
into an open road
stood there like trees
hardly daring to breathe
the women and children
the heavy iron door

Réponse: Papillon et péril /Thème et écoute de lakata, postée le 28-04-2013 à 19:09:27 (S | E)
Hello dear notrepere!

Thank you very much for the time you spend preparing such exercises. I am very grateful for it.

I'm only posting the theme as, unlike Ariane who " a entendu la même chose que ses camarades" in number two, I have understood quite nothing !!! If truth be told, my hearing isn't sharp any more...Age has alas blunted it...(sniff!)

The butterfly.

Sometimes, some beings happen to alight in your life, as butterflies do, without warning. They arrive at your home through the door, even through the window. They can be so unbearable that you cannot do anything else but wish to show them out. And then they manage to tame you, Heaven only knows how. They watch you getting trapped in your problems, your secrets, then transform you without your knowing it. The being who settled on Julien's life came by mail. Well...I am just exaggerating a little. If truth be told, at the same time as it. More exactly at the same time as a pack of seven cocoons he had just received and which were to turn into some magnificent butterflies ten days later. It was a eight-and-a-half-year-old girl, knee-high to a grasshopper. She was red-head and her little cheeks were snow-white. She was wearing jeans and a tee-shirt, like the ones worn by the same-age kids. Her name was Elisa. She had no father and her mother did not have time to look after her.

Thank you again.

Réponse: Papillon et péril /Thème et écoute de clairefr, postée le 29-04-2013 à 16:35:30 (S | E)
Hello notrepere and thank you for this exercise !

First part :

Sometimes, some beings land on your life like butterflies, without warning. They come in your home through the door, through the window. They can be such unbearable that the only thing you want to do is take them away. And then they domesticate you ... we don't really know. They watch you getting stuck in your worries, your secrets, then they metamorphose you ... without you noticing. The being who landed on Julien's life arrived by post. Well ... I'm going too far. Let's say arrived at the same time as the post. At the same time as a packet of seven cocoons he had just received and should become, ten days later, beautiful butterflies. She was a eight-and-a-half-year old kid, just about knee-high to a grasshopper. Her hair was red and her cheeks were white as snow. She was wearing blue jeans and a T-shirt, like those worn by kids at this age. The girl's name was Elsa. She didn't have any father and her mother didn't have time to take care of her.

Second part :

The night was pretty dark, with neither moon nor stars visible, and as Brower had never dwelt thereabout, and knew nothing of the lay of the land, he was, naturally, not long in losing himself.

He could not have said if he was getting further away from the town or going back to it--a most important matter to Orrin Brower. He knew that in either case a posse of citizens with a pack of bloodhounds would soon be on his track and his chance of escape was very slender; but he did not wish to assist his own pursuit. Even an added hour of freedom was worth having.

Suddenly he emerged from the forest into an open road, and there before him stood, indistinctively(*), the figure of a man, motionless in the gloom. It was too late to retreat: the fugitive felt that at the first movement back towards the wood he would be, as he afterwards explained, "filled with buckshot." So the two stood there like trees, Brower nearly suffocated by the activity of his own heart; the other--the emotions of the other are not recorded.

Turning his back to his captor, he walked submissively away in the direction indicated, looking to neither the right nor the left; hardly daring to breathe, his head and back actually aching with a prophecy of buckshot.

Eventually they entered the town, which was all alight, but deserted; only the women and children remained, and they were off the streets. Straight towards the jail the criminal held his way. Straight up to the main entrance he walked, laid his hand upon the knob of the heavy ? /n/ ? door, pushed it open without command, entered and found himself in the presence of a half-dozen armed men. Then he turned. Nobody else entered.

Réponse: Papillon et péril /Thème et écoute de clairefr, postée le 29-04-2013 à 16:39:05 (S | E)
Thanks to the others I now know the word I didn't manage to get : /n/ which is indeed /n/ well it seems I've never pronounced this word properly ;that's why I didn't recognize it.
Thanks again notrepere for this exercise !

Réponse: Papillon et péril /Thème et écoute de notrepere, postée le 30-04-2013 à 18:07:46 (S | E)
Hello all

I'm sorry some of you are struggling with the English listening exercise. I thought the British accent would help (even though it's an American text ) and even the way they anglicised the text. I didn't realize that the wide variation in British accents might be problematic. It's only BBC English for you in the future.

Ne vous découragez pas.

Réponse: Papillon et péril /Thème et écoute de lucile83, postée le 30-04-2013 à 22:35:13 (S | E)
Hello dear np

I think it is very interesting to listen to different accents! It may sound difficult at the beginning but one gets used to it after a few minutes.
What do you think of this one? isn't it amazing?
Lien internet

Réponse: Papillon et péril /Thème et écoute de notrepere, postée le 30-04-2013 à 23:05:09 (S | E)
Hello dear

Is that even English? The tricky part about the Irish and Scottish accent is not only the pronunciation but also the inflection. Do you think I should try this one next time?

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Modifié par notrepere le 01-05-2013 19:59
Hello Lakata, see Lucile's link in the message above. It's an English listening example, Scottish accent (Glasgow). Good luck!

Réponse: Papillon et péril /Thème et écoute de lucile83, postée le 30-04-2013 à 23:16:40 (S | E)
I am wondering

Réponse: Papillon et péril /Thème et écoute de lakata, postée le 01-05-2013 à 11:25:17 (S | E)
Hello notrepere!
Hmmm...What are you talking about with Lucile??? I'm wondering...

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Modifié par lakata le 02-05-2013 21:29

Hello notrepere ! I was only joking and making a little fun of myself, you know!
I watched Lucile's video and find the Scottish R much easier to pronounce than the British one and, a fortiori, the American one!!!

Réponse: Papillon et péril /Thème et écoute de vydock, postée le 02-05-2013 à 13:10:48 (S | E)
Hello notrepère,
Easier in French than English
Sometime, beings land on your life like butterflies, without notice. They arrive in your life through the door, the window. They can be so unbearable that you only want to drive them back to the exit. But then they befriend you, you really don't know how. They watch you getting trapped in your worries, your secrets, and then change you...without knowing it. The being who landed on the julien's life came by mail. Well... It's a bit too much, let's say at the same time as mails was delivered. At the same time that a seven cocoons lot he had just received and from which will hatch out, ten days later, wonderful butterflies. She was a eight-and-half years old kid, less taller than knee-hight, ginger hair and snow white little cheeks. She was clad in jeans and Teeshirt, as same age kids wear. The babe's name was Elsa. She was fatherless and her mother didn't have time to take care of her.

neither moon nor star
lay of the land
was too far away
escape was very slender
into an open road
stood there like trees
heading there in retreat
the women and children
the heavy iron door

Est ce que c'est bien caché ?
Merci.

Réponse: Papillon et péril /Thème et écoute de spoorloos, postée le 02-05-2013 à 23:57:49 (S | E)
Hi,
Merci pour l'exercice.
Here's my try:

Sometimes creatures perch on your life like butterflies, without prior notice. They come into your home through the door… or the window. They can be so unbearable that you want only one thing: to drive them back out. And then they win you over – no one really knows how. They watch you get caught up in your problems, your secrets, and then they metamorphose you, without your realizing it. The creature that landed on Julien’s life arrived through the mail. Well… I’m somewhat exaggerating. Let’s say, at the same time as the mail. Just as he’d received a lot of eight cocoons, which would turn, ten days later, into beautiful butterflies. It was an eight-years-old girl, knee-high to a grasshopper. Her hair was red and her little cheeks were white as snow. She wore a pair of jeans and a tee-shirt, of the kind kids wear at that age. The child’s name was Elsa. She had no father and her mother didn’t have time to take care of her.

Réponse: Papillon et péril /Thème et écoute de sanna6, postée le 04-05-2013 à 23:12:42 (S | E)
Bonjour,

Thanks a lot for your help and your exercises

Sometimes, beings come into your life like butterflies, without letting you know. They come to your home by the door, by the window. They can be so unbearable that you have only a wish : drive them far away. And then they win you over…we don’t know how. They watch you when you get tangled with your worries, your secrets and then they change you…without you realising it.
The person who came in Julien’s life came by mail
Ok…I’m exaggerating a little. We would say, at the same time as a (post) mail. At the same time that (a bunch) of seven cocoons which he has just receved and which should give ten days later some beautiful butterflies.
She was an eight and a half-year-old girl and she was not more than knee-high to a grasshopper. Her hair was red and her little cheeks were white as snow. She wore jeans and tee-shirt, as children at that age.
The little girl called Elsa.
She hadn’t a father and her mother hadn’t any time to look after her.

------------------------------------------------------
Second exercise

The night was pretty dark, with (4) ...moon no stars visible, and as Brower had never dwelt thereabout, and knew nothing of the (4) the … of the land, he was, naturally, not long in losing himself.
He could not have said if he will Get far away, (4) from the town or going back to it--a most important matter to Orrin Brower. He knew that in either case a posse of citizens with a pack of bloodhounds would soon be on his track and his chance of escape (out) this lander (4); but he did not wish to assist his own pursuit. Even an added hour of freedom was worth having.
Suddenly he emerged from the forest forest Into an ….road (4), and there before him stood, indistinctively(*), the figure of a man, motionless in the gloom. It was too late to retreat: the fugitive felt that at the first movement back towards the wood he would be, as he afterward explained, "filled with buckshot." So the two (stood …like street)
(4), Brower nearly suffocated by the activity of his own heart; the other--the emotions of the other are not recorded.
Turning his back to his captor, he walked submissively away in the direction indicated, looking to neither the right nor the left; hardly….. (4), his head and back actually aching with a prophecy of buckshot.
Eventually they entered the town, which was all alight, but deserted; only ......children
(4) remained, and they were off the streets. Straight towards the jail the criminal held his way. Straight up to the main entrance he walked, laid his hand upon the knob of A heavy (end) door
(4), pushed it open without command, entered and found himself in the presence of a half-dozen armed men. Then he turned. Nobody else entered.

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Modifié par sanna6 le 04-05-2013 23:13

Réponse: Papillon et péril /Thème et écoute de notrepere, postée le 07-05-2013 à 07:12:11 (S | E)
Bonjour

Merci pour votre participation

Voici ma proposition/correction :

I. Papillon

From time to time(1), beings(2) wander(3) into our lives(4) like butterflies: (5) without warning. They enter through our doors and our windows(6). They can be so annoying that we have only one wish: to get rid of them. But then a shift(7) occurs...we don't know how. They watch as we get caught up in our struggles or our secrets and then they transform(8) us without our awareness. The being who wandered into Julien's life arrived in the mail(9). Well...I'm exaggerating a little. Let's just say at the same time as the mail. At the same time as seven cocoons he had just received and which, ten days later, would metamorphose(10) into magnificent butterflies. She was a pint-sized(11) kid of eight and a half(12). Her hair was red and her little cheeks were white as(13) snow. She was wearing jeans and a t-shirt like the ones that kids wear at this age. The child's name was Elsa. She didn't have a father and her mother didn't have time to take care of her.

(1) 'Occasionally/Sometimes' conviennent aussi
(2) 'Some beings' convient aussi, mais la juxtaposition de "sometimes, some" n'est pas le meilleur choix dans un texte littéraire
------------------------------------------------
(3) This verb occurs twice in the text, so your choice of verb should work in both places. In American English, the sense of "land on your life" is a little strange. It is true that butterflies land "on" things, but can we say it is true of little girls? We usually say that things land "in" our lives, but then the metaphor of the butterfly landing on things is lost. In English, when things show/turn up unexpectedly, we often say that they "wander into" our lives.
Here is what the Macmillan dictionary says: to travel from place to place, especially on foot, without a particular direction or purpose BINGO!
We don't know how, they just appear. I thought it was the best choice. I think this is just one metaphor that doesn't translate directly from French into English.
------------------------------------------------
(4) En anglais, cette phrase peut se comprendre au singulier ou au pluriel. Ce choix n'existe pas en français. Si on emploie le pluriel, il faut mettre tous les sujets et pronoms au pluriel jusqu'à la phrase "The being who ..." .
(5) Si on comprend que la phrase répond à la question 'comment', il faut les deux-points.
(6) Sens figuré
--------------------------------------------
(7)
Most dictionaries offer the following definitions:
Collins/Robert: vt [+animal, personne difficile] to tame; [+ personne timide] to bring out his (ou her) shell Exemple: Je commence tout juste à apprivoiser l'ordinateur = I'm just beginning to get to grips with the computer.
Voici le problème: The definition of 'tame' in English does not really work in this context. Although the definition in Collins/Robert includes une personne difficile, the actual definition of this word in English is as follows:
Macmillan dictionary: to train an animal to stay calm when people are near it and to make it used to being with them
Longman dictionary: to train a wild animal to obey you and not to attack people
Chambers dictionary: 1) to make (an animal) used to living or working with people. 2) to make meek and humble; to deprive someone or something of spirit; to subdue.

En d'autres termes... This verb is generally used to refer to the domestication of animals or the subjugation of animals by someone else.

In my opinion, this is not what a butterfly or a little girl does to us. They don't have an "agenda". They don't set out to "tame" us. They are just who they are. Children and animals are innocent. There is a fine line between translation and reinterpretation... What is true is that something happens to Julien. The little girl does change or transform him. But there's no sense of volition on her part as the verb 'tame' implies. I've made a literary decision based on my knowledge of the story.
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(8) A mon avis, le verbe 'metamorphose' comporte un sens trop biologique dans ce contexte
(9) ou 'post' en anglais britannique
(10) dans ce contexte, le verbe 'metamorphose' convient
(11) ou knee-high to a grasshopper
(12) 'of' + age est très courant en anglais (e.g. she was a child of twelve, with blond hair, etc.) le mot 'year' est souvent omis
(13) 'as' est plus courant; vous connaissez Mary had a little lamb?

II. An Arrest by Ambrose Bierce

neither moon nor stars
lay of the land
were getting farther away
escape was very slender
into an open road
stood there like trees
hardly daring to breathe
the women and children
the heavy iron door

Si vous avez des questions, n'hésitez pas à me contacter.

Réponse: Papillon et péril /Thème et écoute de lucile83, postée le 07-05-2013 à 07:42:48 (S | E)

Thank you dear np for your translation and comments. They are very interesting, as usual.

Réponse: Papillon et péril /Thème et écoute de lakata, postée le 07-05-2013 à 08:08:08 (S | E)
Hello dear notrepere!

Many thanks for this correction and comments which definitely answer some interesting questions... I had even not put to myself yet!

Réponse: Papillon et péril /Thème et écoute de aneth-estragon, postée le 07-05-2013 à 19:38:33 (S | E)
Thank you for everything!

Réponse: Papillon et péril /Thème et écoute de ng, postée le 08-05-2013 à 19:15:40 (S | E)
Thank you again dear notrepere, especially for the verb "shoo" which sounds so well!

Réponse: Papillon et péril /Thème et écoute de sanna6, postée le 08-05-2013 à 20:10:01 (S | E)

Thanks a lot for your interesting comments and these exercises.

Réponse: Papillon et péril /Thème et écoute de mamou3, postée le 13-05-2013 à 12:29:36 (S | E)

Thank you for these exercises and your correction. I'm sorry to be so late to thank you but I came back yesterday from Scotland where I stayed ten days on holiday.

Réponse: Papillon et péril /Thème et écoute de ariane6, postée le 13-05-2013 à 16:22:15 (S | E)
Hello NP,
Thank you very much for these exercises, your corrections, helpful explanations and comments!

Réponse: Papillon et péril /Thème et écoute de esther1977, postée le 13-05-2013 à 17:36:45 (S | E)
Bonjour,

Je me permets de vous écrire sur ce sujet, car j’ai une question à propos de la traduction du texte. Pourquoi lorsque dans le texte il y a écrit « vous, vos, votre » vous le traduisez par « our, we »?
Je ne suis pas une littéraire et je me remets doucement à l’anglais.
Merci d’avance pour vos réponses.
Bien cordialement.
Esther

Réponse: Papillon et péril /Thème et écoute de notrepere, postée le 14-05-2013 à 07:02:19 (S | E)
Bonjour Esther

J'essaie de répondre à votre question en citant Grevisse :

Sur vous (ou les pluripossessifs de la deuxième personne : votre, etc.) renvoyant à "on" (voir 754.e), cela se produit aussi pour renvoyer à un "on" implicite, à une collectivité indéterminée qui ne s'identifie pas avec l'interlocuteur, mais parfois avec le locuteur.

To me, using the first person plural (we, our, etc.) lends a more "collective universality" to the story. This form of narration is very common in English but not so common in French. We often speak of "our lives" (each one of our lives) while French prefers to use the singular form. Take the Latin expression: sursum corda = Élevons notre cœur
Literally: Let us lift our heart
But in English we would say "Let us lift our hearts" (Let us all lift each one of our hearts).
It's a distinction that doesn't exist in French. It's a way of speaking about the individual or collective experiences that we all share, but knowing that each one is different and unique.
From time to time, beings come into our lives (=each one of our individual lives)
From time to time, beings come into your life (=your individual life)
It is not incorrect to use the 2nd person (you, your, etc.). I personally find it a bit harsh in English, especially since it's the same voice as the imperative mood in English. But it's my own personal preference as I said in my correction.
I hope this has answered your question.
Si vous avez d'autres questions, n'hésitez pas à les poser.

Cordialement

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