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Correction/ bac oral

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/ bac oral
Message de stle posté le 11-05-2013 à 10:44:33 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,

le Bac oral approche et je vous serais reconnaissante si vous pouviez corriger les fautes qu'il y a dans ma fiche de synthèse !
Merci d'avance à tous.

When we talk about power, we think to government, economy, but we can think at the fourth branch of power: the media. Indeed, they helped the civil rights movements broadcasting (en diffusant) the fight of Martin Luther King, the students of Little Rock. If they can help, they can manipulate public opinion. They can accent/ focus (mettre l’accent sur) on some topics and not mentioning others. Moreover, the Medias emphasize/ accentuate (accentue) the power of fame. Furthermore, the fame is an excellent power, a great influence which can change mentalities.
We can wonder in what sense the media and the fame are a power?

I/ Power of media
a) Globalisation, single information.
With globalisation (mondialisation), everyone can access to media easily, but everyone access to the same information. Indeed, some agencies share information to every newspaper, TV channels so they can choose the information they decide to share. This way, they can manipulate public opinion, particularly these ones who use only one type of media to inform themselves. But, media can be a precious help by broadcasting causes..

b) Medias can broadcast causes like civil rights movement in sixties in USA.
Thanks to Medias, civil rights movements could make progress. Indeed, Medias is a stimulant for social advances. For instance, when TV channel filmed the students of little rock, it helps the population to accept the fact that segregation became unconstitutional in school. These students had needed police officers to come in school. Because the others students didn’t want to accept black people in their school. Besides, when Rosa parks decided to boycott Montgomery buses, Medias broadcast this and de facto, a lot of people join us to boycott buses. Thus, segregation in buses was forbidden. Well, Medias help causes by permitting public opinion to know problems. However, Media can manipulate Public opinion by not mentioning some problems, and accent on others.

c) Medias: a power who need money.
It’s important to precise that Medias need financing, private capital (des capitaux privés). So they broadcast the information which ”interests” public opinion, it can be absolutely useless like press people. There are fewer journalists making investigations (enquêtes). So there is the problem of the quality of information. Besides, we can say that media is the fourth branch of power(“la 4ème forme de pouvoir”) because a lot of people only use TV channels to inform themselves. In some countries, all TV channels are controlled by the government which make manipulation easier. We can quote the example of North Korea, which broadcast videos which shows the virtual bombing of the White House. Clearly, it’s propaganda. In this case, the manipulation is evident. But we have to not forget that even in a democratic system, we can be manipulated. Actually, like we said before, Medias needed capital. And if the newspape's owner( propriétaire de journaux) wants to accent on one topic, he has just to say it to his staff. Far too much(beaucoup trop) information can go unreported (être passées sous silence).

II/ The power of fame
a) Why famous people have power?
At first, famous people have fans, which love them. The first example is the young people who impersonate (imitent) their idols. But it can be more useful. Indeed, we can deduct that, if a star defends one cause, his fans will be interested by this cause. So, when a star helps poor people and encourages his fans to do the same, some fans will help poor people too, and it’s an interesting power. Secondly, given that(étant donné que, ) people have fans, they can put pressure on governments, decisions taking by heads of states (Chefs d’etats). For these two mains (principales) reasons, we can say that famous people have really a power, an influence. But in what sense do they have power? What causes do they help?

b) The action of the famous people
Famous people can make concerts, like the Live Aid. The Live aid is a charity concert. It was a concert held on 1985 in two cities London and Philadelphia. It was organized by Bob Geldof and Midge Ure to raise funds for help Ethiopian people who suffered of Famine. They try to put pressure on governments with anti-globalist claiming (revendications altermondialistes) . Actually, the concert in july 2005 was while the summit of the G8. We can also name George Harrison, indeed, “the Concert for Bangladesh” in 1971 was the first charity concert.Besides, We can think at Bono’s speech at the Labour Party Conference of Brighton 2004 a few days before G8 summit.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 11-05-2013 12:09


Réponse: Correction/ bac oral de lucile83, postée le 11-05-2013 à 18:18:51 (S | E)
Anyone?



Réponse: Correction/ bac oral de notrepere, postée le 11-05-2013 à 19:50:17 (S | E)
Bonjour

Avez-vous utilisé un traducteur en ligne ?



Réponse: Correction/ bac oral de stle, postée le 11-05-2013 à 22:10:44 (S | E)
Non je n'ai pas utilisé de traducteur en ligne! Enfin du moins, pour certains mots j'ai utilisé reverso mais reverso dictionnaire qui permet d'adapter le mot au contexte en donnant plusieurs traductions !

Mon niveau est si mauvais qu'on dirait que j'ai fait un copier/coller d'un texte français ? ^^



Réponse: Correction/ bac oral de lucile83, postée le 11-05-2013 à 22:30:42 (S | E)
Hello,

Ce qui donne un doute c'est que vous utilisez assez mal le dictionnaire, ce qui rend votre texte maladroit,avec des fautes basiques qui rendent la compréhension difficile.
Les erreurs en bleu

When we talk about power, we think to government, economy, but we can think at the fourth branch of power: the media. Indeed, they helped the civil rights movements broadcasting mal dit the fight of Martin Luther King, the students of Little Rock. If they can help, they can manipulate public opinion. They can accent/ focus (mettre l’accent sur) on some topics and not mentioning others. Moreover, the Medias emphasize/ accentuate (accentue) the power of fame. Furthermore, the fame is an excellent power, a great influence which can change mentalities.
We can wonder in what sense the media and the fame are a power?

I/ Power of media
a) Globalisation, single information.
With globalisation (mondialisation), everyone can access to media easily, but everyone access to the same information. Indeed, some agencies share information to every newspaper, TV channels so they can choose the information they decide to share. This way, they can manipulate public opinion, particularly these ones who use only one type of media to inform themselves. But, media can be a precious help by broadcasting causes..

b) Medias can broadcast causes like civil rights movement in ... sixties in ... USA.
Thanks to Medias, civil rights movements could make progress. Indeed, Medias is a stimulant for social advances. For instance, when TV channel filmed the students of little rock, it helps the population to accept the fact that segregation became unconstitutional in school. These students had needed police officers to come in school. Because the others students didn’t want to accept black people in their school. Besides, when Rosa Parks decided to boycott Montgomery buses, Medias broadcast this and de facto, a lot of people join us to boycott buses. Thus, segregation in buses was forbidden. Well, Medias help causes by permitting public opinion to know problems. However, Media can manipulate Public opinion by not mentioning some problems, and accent on others.

c) Medias: a power who need money.
It’s important to precise that Medias need financing, private capital (des capitaux privés). So they broadcast the information which ”interests” public opinion, it can be absolutely useless like press people. There are fewer journalists making investigations (enquêtes). So there is the problem of the quality of information. Besides, we can say that media is the fourth branch of power(“la 4ème forme de pouvoir”) because a lot of people only use TV channels to inform themselves. In some countries, all TV channels are controlled by the government which make manipulation easier. We can quote the example of North Korea, which broadcast videos which shows the virtual bombing of the White House. Clearly, it’s propaganda. In this case, the manipulation is evident. But we have to not forget that even in a democratic system, we can be manipulated. Actually, like we said before, Medias needed capital. And if the newspape's owner( propriétaire de journaux) wants to accent on one topic, he has just to say it to his staff. Far too much(beaucoup trop) information can go unreported (être passées sous silence).



Réponse: Correction/ bac oral de stle, postée le 15-05-2013 à 14:39:29 (S | E)
Merci de votre réponse !
When we talk about power, we think AT government, economy, but we can think TO the fourth branch of power: media. Indeed, they helped the civil rights movements broadcasting (quel mot en anglais pourrait me permettre de dire "diffuser"?) the fight of Martin Luther King, the students of Little Rock. If they can help, they can manipulate public opinion. They can accent/ focus (mettre l’accent sur) on some topics and not MENTIONING (je pensais que ce mot était approprié car mon professeur me l'a conseillé) others. Moreover, the Medias emphasize/ accentuate (accentue) the power of fame. Furthermore, the fame is an excellent power, a great influence which can change mentalities.
We can wonder in what sense the media and the fame are a power?

I/ Power of media
a) Globalisation, single information.
With globalisation (mondialisation), everyone can access to media easily, but everyone ACCESSES to the same information. Indeed, some agencies share information to every newspaper, TV channels so they can choose the information they decide to share. THUS, they can manipulate public opinion, particularly these ones who use only one type of media to inform themselves. But, media can be a precious help by broadcasting causes..

b) Medias can broadcast causes like civil rights movement in THE sixties in THE USA.
Thanks to Medias, civil rights movements could make progress. Indeed, Medias ARE a stimulant for social advances. For instance, when TV channel filmed the students of little rock, it helps the population to accept the fact that segregation became unconstitutional AT school. These students had needed police officers to come AT school. Because THE OTHERS (idem, je ne vois pas quoi mettre d'autre..) students didn’t want to accept black people in their school. Besides, when Rosa Parks decided to boycott Montgomery buses, Medias broadcast this and de facto, a lot of people JOIN THEM to boycott buses. Thus, segregation in buses was forbidden. Well, Medias help causes by permitting public opinion to know problems. However, Media can manipulate Public opinion by not mentioning some problems, and accent on others.

c) Medias: a power WHICH need money.
It’s important to precise that Medias need financing, private capital (des capitaux privés). So they broadcast the information which ”interests” public opinion, it can be absolutely useless like press people. There are fewer journalists making investigations (enquêtes). So there is the problem of the quality of information. Besides, we can say that media is the fourth branch of power(“la 4ème forme de pouvoir”) because a lot of people only use TV channels to INQUIRE ABOUT THE NEWS . In some countries, all TV channels are controlled by the government which make manipulation easier. We can quote the example of North Korea, which broadcast videos which SHOW the virtual bombing of the White House. Clearly, it’s propaganda. In this case, the manipulation is evident. But we HAVE TO DON'T forget that even in a democratic system, we can be manipulated. Actually, like we said before, Medias needed capital. And if the newspape's owner( propriétaire de journaux) wants to accent on one topic, he has just to say it to his staff. Far too much(beaucoup trop) information can go unreported (être passées sous silence).


Merci de votre aide, j'ai mis en bleu ce que j'ai essayé de corriger et en rouge ce que je n'ai pas changé parce que je n'ai pas trouvé comment corriger!

Pourriez-vous me dire si la correction est bonne?
merci d'avance à tous!



Réponse: Correction/ bac oral de hushpuppy, postée le 21-05-2013 à 00:00:12 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Les mots "mentioning" et "others" sont soulignés par Lucile parce qu'ils ne sont en accord ni avec le nom ni avec le sens de la phrase.
"They can .... mentioning..." ? non, quel autre ?
"...the others students..." ? non, les adjectifs ne se mettent pas au pluriel en anglais.




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