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Message de lili1234 posté le 15-05-2013 à 13:40:39 (S | E | F)
Bonjour ,
pourriez-vous m'aider à corriger ma présentation d'oral d'anglais car mon professeur est malade et n'a pu me la corriger.
Merci beaucoup.
Spaces and exchanges
Intro : I'm going to talk about the notion Spaces and exchanges. To begin with, I'd like to give a definition of exchange. The different spaces of the world are nowadays more and more connected to each other. The exchanges can appear on many forms: people, trade, information . The immigration is linked to this notion as it implies the motion of legal and illegal people to other countries. Immigration: from dream to disillusion. We will focus on the journey of immigrants to the USA by showing the pros and cons of these trips.
I.in search of the American dream
First of all, we studied an extract entitled « Why America » from the book The Vendor of Sweets. Jagan is a sixty-year-old shopkeeper in a small town in India. He would like to know more about the future plans of his son Mali, an arts student aged twenty.
At the beginning of the text, Jagan learns from his cousin that Mali intends to leave India to continue his studies in America. Jagan is both shocked by the news because he can’t understand Mali’s reasons not only for leaving his country, but also for going to America.
Mali’s first reason is that there are far more opportunities for learning novel-writing and creative writing in America than in India. For him is “the only country where they teach such things.”. However, we can easily imagine that there are deeper reasons behind Mali’s decision. Mali is a young, modern man who has had to live with a traditional father since he was born and who certainly dreams of breaking away from the stifling way of life imposed on him by his father and his country.
He must be fed up with having to comply with rules, customs and traditions which he thinks belong to the past.. He wants to live the American dream just like some people who have taken the plunge and succeed in USA
Transition : The hope to live the American dream made of immigrants, individuals wanting at all costs to settle in the USA even if it means to cross the line of legality.
II.from dream to reality
The number of illegal immigrants entering the US from Mexico is falling. This is the result of both a worsening employment problems in the US and improving law enforcement measures.Efforts to secure the border completely are unlikely to succeed while the incentives for illegal immigration remain so great.
We have seen a video entitled « on the border » which deals with the passage of illegal immigrants at the border Mexico-USA. The border between Mexico and the USA is the most crossed over in the world .However, this trip is very risked beacause they take illegaly the train , they risk their lives to cross the border ; they can be robbed and raped, they can can get hurt and lose a body part falling train.
This video shows the journey of illegal immigrants is very dangerous, and that the dream can quickly toggle into a nightmare. Nevertheless, some people manage by arrive at the destination. This is the case of Jose Antonio Vargas .
He is a Pulitzer Price winner and former Washington Post reporter. At the age of 12, Vargas said goodbye to his mother and the Philippines and moved to the San Francisco to live with his grandparents He shares his moving story in “My Life as an Undocumented Immigrant” in New York Times Magazine. he convinced himself that if he worked hard enough he would be rewarded with citizenship. Vargas says he’s lived the American Dream, but, “he's still an undocumented immigrant.”, that means having the fear of being discovered one day.
To conlude, I think immigrate in USA can be a real opportunity because there are lots of Hispanic celebrities who have lived their American dream by succeeding a career in the usa.For example, Eva Longoria who grew up on a ranch near Corpus Christi, in Texas. After graduating from college, she entered a talent contest that brought her to Los Angeles. Eva Longoria became well known worldwide thanks to "Desperate Housewives" . She also has a contract with L'Oreal and has been named one of the most beautiful people.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 15-05-2013 14:43
Message de lili1234 posté le 15-05-2013 à 13:40:39 (S | E | F)
Bonjour ,
pourriez-vous m'aider à corriger ma présentation d'oral d'anglais car mon professeur est malade et n'a pu me la corriger.
Merci beaucoup.
Spaces and exchanges
Intro : I'm going to talk about the notion Spaces and exchanges. To begin with, I'd like to give a definition of exchange. The different spaces of the world are nowadays more and more connected to each other. The exchanges can appear on many forms: people, trade, information . The immigration is linked to this notion as it implies the motion of legal and illegal people to other countries. Immigration: from dream to disillusion. We will focus on the journey of immigrants to the USA by showing the pros and cons of these trips.
I.in search of the American dream
First of all, we studied an extract entitled « Why America » from the book The Vendor of Sweets. Jagan is a sixty-year-old shopkeeper in a small town in India. He would like to know more about the future plans of his son Mali, an arts student aged twenty.
At the beginning of the text, Jagan learns from his cousin that Mali intends to leave India to continue his studies in America. Jagan is both shocked by the news because he can’t understand Mali’s reasons not only for leaving his country, but also for going to America.
Mali’s first reason is that there are far more opportunities for learning novel-writing and creative writing in America than in India. For him is “the only country where they teach such things.”. However, we can easily imagine that there are deeper reasons behind Mali’s decision. Mali is a young, modern man who has had to live with a traditional father since he was born and who certainly dreams of breaking away from the stifling way of life imposed on him by his father and his country.
He must be fed up with having to comply with rules, customs and traditions which he thinks belong to the past.. He wants to live the American dream just like some people who have taken the plunge and succeed in USA
Transition : The hope to live the American dream made of immigrants, individuals wanting at all costs to settle in the USA even if it means to cross the line of legality.
II.from dream to reality
The number of illegal immigrants entering the US from Mexico is falling. This is the result of both a worsening employment problems in the US and improving law enforcement measures.Efforts to secure the border completely are unlikely to succeed while the incentives for illegal immigration remain so great.
We have seen a video entitled « on the border » which deals with the passage of illegal immigrants at the border Mexico-USA. The border between Mexico and the USA is the most crossed over in the world .However, this trip is very risked beacause they take illegaly the train , they risk their lives to cross the border ; they can be robbed and raped, they can can get hurt and lose a body part falling train.
This video shows the journey of illegal immigrants is very dangerous, and that the dream can quickly toggle into a nightmare. Nevertheless, some people manage by arrive at the destination. This is the case of Jose Antonio Vargas .
He is a Pulitzer Price winner and former Washington Post reporter. At the age of 12, Vargas said goodbye to his mother and the Philippines and moved to the San Francisco to live with his grandparents He shares his moving story in “My Life as an Undocumented Immigrant” in New York Times Magazine. he convinced himself that if he worked hard enough he would be rewarded with citizenship. Vargas says he’s lived the American Dream, but, “he's still an undocumented immigrant.”, that means having the fear of being discovered one day.
To conlude, I think immigrate in USA can be a real opportunity because there are lots of Hispanic celebrities who have lived their American dream by succeeding a career in the usa.For example, Eva Longoria who grew up on a ranch near Corpus Christi, in Texas. After graduating from college, she entered a talent contest that brought her to Los Angeles. Eva Longoria became well known worldwide thanks to "Desperate Housewives" . She also has a contract with L'Oreal and has been named one of the most beautiful people.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 15-05-2013 14:43
Réponse: Oral/ Spaces and exchanges de diduell, postée le 01-06-2013 à 16:02:07 (S | E)
Bonjour, ton oral m'a l'air plutôt bien rédigé mon niveau d'orthographe n'est pas très bon donc je laisse d'autres utilisateur te corriger. Cependant, il y a une chose importante que tu as oublié et sûrement plus que des fautes de syntaxes, c'est une problématique. Il n'y a pas de recherche s'il n'y a pas de problème. Il n'est pas très compliqué de d'en trouver une quand on a un plan donc trouve une problématique qui correspond a ton plan, exemple :
Does Immigration always bring benefits?
What can be the advantages and disadvantages of immigration?
J'espère t'avoir aider, bon courage pour ton oral
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