Correction/Internship

Correction/Internship
Message de hpv posté le 07-06-2013 à 14:45:46 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à toutes et à tous,

Je prépare un oral d'anglais, et sur ce paragraphe je ne suis pas sûr du tout de mon anglais et j'aurais voulu avoir votre avis.
Merci à vous pour votre aide.

Then the second year, I did my internship in a Commission Scolaire in xxx, Canada. A commission scolaire is a form of local government which manages the public elementary, middle school, high school) + centers (adult education) on a definite portion of territory and in one of the official languages(tongues) of Canada (French and English).
In the province of xxx, there are 5 commissions scolaires.

I worked in the administrative building at the “commission XXX scolaire”. We find the human, financial and material ressources in this building. All directors send to it the expenses and incomes of their school.

I was the assistant of the accountant who manages all incomes and expenses of these academic institutions. I learnt a lot from his experience and helped him in his job. I loved it because it was not boring and I know many things now about the establishment of the budget. In the same year, we wrote the end of the budget of the previous year and we prepared the budget for the year to come. So we had to be organized in our work, and not go crazy about the figures. I checked, for each school, all expenses and incomes per schools and if it was necessary I made an appointment with the director to talk about the situation of his school, when it was bad.

Merci à vous tous.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 07-06-2013 15:20

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Réponse: Correction/Internship de jxbrown, postée le 08-06-2013 à 01:18:25 (S | E)
Hello

Then during the second year, I did my internship at a Commission Scolaire in xxx, Canada. A commission scolaire is a form of local government which manages the public elementary, middle school, high school) and centers (adult education) for a section of a province and in one of the official languages of Canada (French and English).
In the province of xxx, there are 5 commissions scolaires.

I worked in the administrative building at the “commission XXX scolaire” which supportedthe human, financial and material ressources administration for this part of the province. All schools would report expenses and incomes to this center.

I was the assistant to the accountant who manages all incomes and expenses of these academic institutions. I learned a lot from his experience and helped him in his job. I loved it because it was not boring and I know many things now about the establishment of the budget. In the same year, we completed the previous year's budget and we prepared the budget for the year to come. So we had to be organized in our work, and not go crazy ("go crazy" is slang and too informal for a job application)about the figures. I checked, for each school, all expenses and incomes and if it was necessary, I made an appointment with the director to talk about the situation of his school, when there were problems.

"Territory" has a specific meaning in Canada

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Modifié par lucile83 le 08-06-2013 08:15

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Réponse: Correction/Internship de hpv, postée le 08-06-2013 à 11:30:17 (S | E)
Thanks a lot !

In this sentence : So we had to be organized in our work, and not go crazy ("go crazy" is slang and too informal for a job application)about the figures.

I can say : So we had to be organized in our work, and conscious because I worked with important amount.

Thanks

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Réponse: Correction/Internship de sherry48, postée le 08-06-2013 à 13:11:02 (S | E)
Hello.

Here are a few small details to look at.

1.Please look up conscious in the dictionary; it is not the right form.

2.I worked with large (rather than important) sums /amounts of money.

3.adult education centers

4.incomes

5...the establishment of the budget

6. I checked for each school, (all) expenses and incomes for each school,

Sherry

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Réponse: Correction/Internship de hpv, postée le 10-06-2013 à 11:14:33 (S | E)
Thanks for your corrections.

I can say : So we had to be organized in our work, and become aware of the huge figures. It was not a game.
No "s" for income ?
Thanks a lot

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