Correction/mail

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Correction/mail
Message de gadocartoon posté le 23-08-2013 à 20:16:55 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,

Je m’entraîne encore et toujours à écrire en anglais et j'aimerais votre avis sur ce petit texte que j'ai fait par rapport à une mise en situation. Il s'agit d'un mail que j'envoie à un client.
Je vous remercie d'avance pour le temps que vous m'accorderez.
Gianni

Dear Mister Jones,
As I told you by mail, you can find hereunder all the informations about your order.

There will have four consignments in all. The shipment of the first cargo (freight?) will be by boat (ship?) and the shipment date will be on the 13th of February. The loading of the second consignment will be on the 25th of February. The (freight?) forwarder must arrive in Rotterdam on the 12th of March and you will be probably delivered around the 15th or 16th of March. The (freight?) forwarders are Johnson&Drake and Brothers Inc.

I please you to verify the sizes of all the parcels with your delivery note.
The sizes are: 300 mm of height, 400mm of width, 250mm of depth and each parcel weigh 3,5kg.

In the case of a late delivery, you can join on my email: xxx
Regards,

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 23-08-2013 21:48

Réponse: Correction/mail de bluestar, postée le 24-08-2013 à 13:18:12 (S | E)
Hello...

Dear Mister (généralement abrégé à 'Mr.') Jones,
As I told you by mail, you can find hereunder all the informations about your order.

There will have four consignments in all. The shipment of the first cargo (freight?) will be by boat (ship?) and the shipment date will be on the 13th of February. (généralement écrit '13th February').The loading of the second consignment will be on the 25th of February . The (freight?) forwarder must arrive in Rotterdam on the 12th of March and you will be probably delivered (a reformuler)around the 15th or 16th of March. The (freight?) forwarders are Johnson & Drake and Brothers Inc.

I please you (a reformuler)to verify the sizes of all the parcels with your delivery note.
The sizes are: 300 mm of height 300mm, 400mm of width 400mm, 250mm of depth 250mm and each parcel weigh (accorde) 3,5kg.

In the case of a late delivery, you can join on my (il faut un autre verbe)email: xxx
Regards,

Réponse: Correction/mail de gadocartoon, postée le 24-08-2013 à 14:21:49 (S | E)
Hello Bluestar,
Thank you a lot for your your explanations! I do my best to correct what I wrote. You can read it hereunder.

Dear Mr. Jones,
As I told you by mail, you can find hereunder all the informations about your order.

There will have four consignments in all. The shipment of the first cargo will be by boat and the shipment date will be on the 13th February. The loading of the second consignment will be on the 25th February. The freight forwarder must arrive in Rotterdam on the 12th March and you will probably be delivered around the 15th or 16th March. The freight forwarders are Johnson & Drake and Brothers Inc.

Please verify the sizes of all the parcels with your delivery note when you collect the goods on arrival.
The sizes are: height 300mm, width 400mm, depth 350mm and each parcel weighs 3,5kg.

In the case of a late delivery, you can contact me on my email: xxx

Regards,

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 24-08-2013 18:11

Réponse: Correction/mail de bluestar, postée le 24-08-2013 à 22:01:40 (S | E)
Bonsoir..

As I told you by mail, you can find hereunder all the informations (pas le pluriel ici) , about your order.

There will have ('have' ne va pas, you need a different verb) four consignments in all. The shipment of the first cargo will be by boat and the shipment date will be on the 13th February. The loading of the second consignment will be on the 25th February. The freight forwarder must arrive in Rotterdam on the 12th March and you will probably be delivered take delivery around the 15th or 16th March. The freight forwarders are Johnson,Drake and Brothers Inc.

Please verify the sizes of all the parcels with your delivery note when you collect the goods on arrival.
The sizes are: height 300mm, width 400mm, depth 350mm and each parcel weighs 3,5kg.

In the case of a late delivery, you can contact me on my email: xxx

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