Comme des milliers de personnes, recevez gratuitement chaque semaine Correction /Covering letter
Forum > English only || BottomCorrection /Covering letter
Message from jimsood posted on 21-10-2013 at 09:23:32 (D | E | F)
Hello,
Could you please correct my covering letter below as I am preparing it to enclose with my resume for a job application.
Thank you for your help.
Dear Club Manager:
With the enclosed resume, I am formally indicating my interest in the Golf Outside Operation (Bagdrop, Ranger, Starter, Proshop) Assistant Golf Coach & Sports Co-ordinator/ Office & Competition Administrator position at xxx Golf Club.
In my current job as the Superintendent Golf & Tournament at The xxx Golf Club in xxx. I have improved every aspect of the golf program at this esteemed golf club. Although I am quite happy in my current situation and am appreciated for the significant improvements I have made in every area of the golf program, it has always been my goal to get associated one day with a prestigious club such as The xxx Golf Club. I am aware of the high-profile clientele you serve, and I feel certain I could add value to your operation and enhance the superior climate for which you already are known. At xxx Golf Club, I have resourcefully found new ways to save money every year while making sure customers are satisfied with all “the little things” that can drive members crazy if they’re not perfect! By those “little things” I include things such as the variety and quality of golf shop inventory, the tournament program, golf instruction, golf cart operation and bag storage, driving range administration, as well as the operation of starters and rangers.
I have taken golf instruction to a new level and, while supervising the employees, I have continually developed the instructional abilities of my assistants. I have completed PGF (xxx Golf Federation) Golf Teaching School I and II, have served with PGF and was invited by PGF officials to act as Scorer/Draws for the xxx Open Tournaments.In my present job, I gained extensive experience in organizing and managing an extensive tournament schedule including The CISM xxx Golf Championship, Asian Tour, Faldo Series xxx and Audi Quattro Cup of xxx.
You would find me a person to be a congenial individual who prides me on own ability to relate well to anyone. I believe strongly in the ability of golf to teach and refine virtues including honesty, fairness, courtesy, responsibility, and discipline.I hope you will write or call me and suggest a time when we might meet in confidence to discuss your needs. I can provide valuable/outstanding references.
Sincerely yours,
xxxxx
-------------------
Edited by lucile83 on 21-10-2013 11:43
Message from jimsood posted on 21-10-2013 at 09:23:32 (D | E | F)
Hello,
Could you please correct my covering letter below as I am preparing it to enclose with my resume for a job application.
Thank you for your help.
Dear Club Manager:
With the enclosed resume, I am formally indicating my interest in the Golf Outside Operation (Bagdrop, Ranger, Starter, Proshop) Assistant Golf Coach & Sports Co-ordinator/ Office & Competition Administrator position at xxx Golf Club.
In my current job as the Superintendent Golf & Tournament at The xxx Golf Club in xxx. I have improved every aspect of the golf program at this esteemed golf club. Although I am quite happy in my current situation and am appreciated for the significant improvements I have made in every area of the golf program, it has always been my goal to get associated one day with a prestigious club such as The xxx Golf Club. I am aware of the high-profile clientele you serve, and I feel certain I could add value to your operation and enhance the superior climate for which you already are known. At xxx Golf Club, I have resourcefully found new ways to save money every year while making sure customers are satisfied with all “the little things” that can drive members crazy if they’re not perfect! By those “little things” I include things such as the variety and quality of golf shop inventory, the tournament program, golf instruction, golf cart operation and bag storage, driving range administration, as well as the operation of starters and rangers.
I have taken golf instruction to a new level and, while supervising the employees, I have continually developed the instructional abilities of my assistants. I have completed PGF (xxx Golf Federation) Golf Teaching School I and II, have served with PGF and was invited by PGF officials to act as Scorer/Draws for the xxx Open Tournaments.In my present job, I gained extensive experience in organizing and managing an extensive tournament schedule including The CISM xxx Golf Championship, Asian Tour, Faldo Series xxx and Audi Quattro Cup of xxx.
You would find me a person to be a congenial individual who prides me on own ability to relate well to anyone. I believe strongly in the ability of golf to teach and refine virtues including honesty, fairness, courtesy, responsibility, and discipline.I hope you will write or call me and suggest a time when we might meet in confidence to discuss your needs. I can provide valuable/outstanding references.
Sincerely yours,
xxxxx
-------------------
Edited by lucile83 on 21-10-2013 11:43
Re: Correction /Covering letter from friendlyricain, posted on 23-10-2013 at 04:14:20 (D | E)
Hello,
Although I am quite happy in my current situation and am appreciated for the significant improvements I have made
By
I have completed PGF (xxx Golf Federation) Golf Teaching School I and II, have served with PGF and was invited by PGF officials to act as Scorer/Draws for the xxx Open Tournaments. Might be correct, but it sounds off to me. Perhaps try "..and I've received invitations.."?
You would find me
I believe strongly in
I hope you will write or call me
I can provide valuable/outstanding references if necessary.
Hope this helps you!
-------------------
Edited by friendlyricain on 23-10-2013 04:14
-------------------
Edited by lucile83 on 23-10-2013 06:24
Forum > English only
INDISPENSABLES : 