Correction/Design your baby

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Correction/Design your baby
Message de lili97kat posté le 23-10-2013 à 11:24:18 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Pourriez-vous m'aider à corriger mes fautes, s'il vous plaît?
Merci d'avance.

We can see in this article that medicine well progressed, maybe even too much. Indeed, thank's to the discovery more thorough of DNA and the progression some technologies of science, the scientifics will be able, seem it, soon, power create some babys of tastes and colors of parent's wishes, for example a chil with freckles... and same at nivel intellectual parents will have the choice.

Je n'ai mis que le début de ce que j'ai fait, je mettrai la suite quand j'aurai corrigé la première partie.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 23-10-2013 17:51

Réponse: Correction/Design your baby de violet91, postée le 23-10-2013 à 13:11:23 (S | E)
Hello ,

We can see in this article that medicine ( auxiliaire present perfect 3eme sg)well ( à déplacer) progressed, maybe even too much. Indeed, than(k's) orthographe :pl to the discovery more thorough adj!) of DNA and the progression ( of) some technologies of science, (the pas d'article en généralité)) scientifics will be able, seem i( ordre , present simple 3eme sing) t, soon, power( auxiliaire) create some babys( orth.pluriel) of tastes and colo(x)rs of paren(-- pl.et génitif saxon) wishes, for example a chil(x lettre oubliée ) with freckles... and same at nivel( mot !) intellectual( ordre) xx( mots oubliés ) parents will have the choice.

Ce que je peux faire pour le moment . Bonne journée .

Réponse: Correction/Design your baby de lili97kat, postée le 23-10-2013 à 15:39:56 (S | E)
Hi,

Merci de ta réponse.
We can see in this article that medicine is progressing, maybe even too much. Indeed, thanks to the discovery more detailed of DNA and the progression some technologies of science, scientifics will be able, it seems, soon, can create some babies of tastes and colours of parents's wishes, for example a child with freckles... and same at intellectual level, thereby parents will have the choice.

Je poste la suite:
We notice that nothing is impossible for science. Nevertheless, I found that a little absurd. Give birth to a baby, with his qualities and his faults is part of life's things. Would will be the interest to give birth life, if all futurs newborns are all beautiful and intelligent.
Each human being have his charm, the difference it is that which assemble all.

Réponse: Correction/Design your baby de bluduck2, postée le 23-10-2013 à 16:25:21 (S | E)
Hello ! Il y a des fautes basiques à corriger .
Tout d'abord :-- science (nom), a scientist (nom), scientific (adjectif) --a scientific discovery
--si vous employez will be able ,n'employez pas can juste après!
--corrigez "same at" .Je suggère de faire une deuxième phrase commençant par un adverbe(similarly?)
--revoyez le gérondif (=le fait de donner)
--choisissez "giving birth" ou "giving life"
--revoyez ce qui /ce que
--l 'adjectif est invariable ,corrigez"future"
--baby /human being sont he /she (précisez his/her ... )
--que voulez-vous dire avec "life's things"?
--à la troisième personne du singulier,au present ,il faut un S
--plutôt que "to assemble",préférez "to unite"
--Voulez vous dire vraiment "all" ? pensez à everybody /everything selon votre idée.
Par ailleurs,pour que vos propos soient clairs,illustrez-les d'exemples concrêts de manipulations ,d'expériences (pris dans la presse ou la fiction). I hope this helps ! Bluduck2

Réponse: Correction/Design your baby de lili97kat, postée le 23-10-2013 à 17:49:20 (S | E)
Hello,

We can see in this article that medicine is progressing, maybe even too much. Indeed, thanks to the discovery more detailed of DNA and the progression some technologies of science, scientist will be able, it seems, soon, create some babies of tastes and colours of parents's wishes, for example a child with freckles...Similarly with intellectual level with a high QI and great personality, thereby parents will have the choice.
We notice that nothing is impossible for science. Nevertheless, I found that a little absurd. Give birthing to a baby, with his qualities and his faults is part of life's things ("des choses de la vie"). Would will be the interest to give birth life, if all futur newborns are all beautiful and intelligent.
Each human being has her charm, the difference it is what unite everybody.

La suite:
However, I'm agree with the fact that this progress will can please some mums, who unfortunately, can't give birth . They can satisfy theirs needs choising the baby who suit her, of course, in the limit of reasonable, not with yellow hairs, three eyes...

Réponse: Correction/Design your baby de bluduck2, postée le 24-10-2013 à 16:35:52 (S | E)
Hello lili97cat !
Encore un petit effort !
Fautes basiques --I AGREE
--remplacement de CAN,modal par to be able toVous conjuguez to be au futur (ligne 7)
--le "s" de present simple (ligne 6)
--Voulez-vous dire hairs=poils ou hair =chevelure ?
--baby /human being peuvent désigner un masculin ou un féminin .-Ecrivez his/her (ligne6)
--Revoyez la question ligne 5 : mot interrogatif +auxiliaire (un seul!)
--Corrigez "give" (ligne 5)
--3ème pers.pluriel (ligne7) their baby ....,donc à la fin de la phrase,elles ,eux , pronom personnel complément pluriel
--Orthographe de to choose
Quant aux choses de la vie, préferez qq chose comme "it's part of life "."They are events in a person's life " Faites simple !
All the best from Bluduck 2

Réponse: Correction/Design your baby de lili97kat, postée le 24-10-2013 à 18:28:11 (S | E)
Hi,

We can see in this article that medicine is progressing, maybe even too much. Indeed, thanks to the discovery more detailed of DNA and the progression some technologies of science, scientist will be able, it seems, soon, create some babies of tastes and colours of parents's wishes, for example a child with freckles...Similarly with intellectual level with a high QI and great personality, thereby parents will have the choice.
We notice that nothing is impossible for science. Nevertheless, I found that a little absurd. Give birthing to a baby, with his qualities and his faults, it is part of life. Would be the interest to give birth life, if all futur newborns are all beautiful and intelligent.
Each human being has her charm, the difference it is what unites everybody.
However, I agree with the fact that this progress will be able to please some mums, who unfortunately, can't give birth . They can satisfy theirs needs choosing their baby who suit them, of course, in the limit of reasonable, not with yellow hair, three eyes...

La dernière partie:
It should not that the child feels outcast, when he will grow. But how can we be sure that those newborns will not feel outcast, in a way because that they have been «conceived » and not born of chance about two parents.
We live in a period where technologie progress at a wild look, and I am well happy can to live that, but I think that create this own baby is not the welcome of everybody in our actual society.

--baby /human being peuvent désigner un masculin ou un féminin .-Ecrivez his/her (ligne6)
his/her ne désigne pas l'appartenance? Je suis obligée de préciser le genre?
Merci!

Réponse: Correction/Design your baby de lucile83, postée le 24-10-2013 à 18:45:59 (S | E)
Hello,

Je dirais ainsi:
Give birth to a baby, with their qualities and their faults it is part of life. Would ~~be the interest~~ it be interesting to give birth if all the newborns were beautiful and intelligent?
Each human being has their charm, the difference consists in the union among people. (la fin n'est pas très claire)
Quand vous ne savez pas si vous parlez d'un homme ou d'une femme vous employez le pluriel ou he/she.
Exemple: I hope everybody will come. They will be meet John Doe.

Réponse: Correction/Design your baby de violet91, postée le 24-10-2013 à 20:02:51 (S | E)
Hello lili,

Back to you briefly .Il me semble que ligne après ligne , vous n'avez pas tout exploité des conseils donnés :
- the progression of technologies in the science fields ( domaine)
-scientist > au pluriel : généralité
-it seems ( bien ) peut être remplacé par ' apparently ' ou un question tag en fin de phrase = won't they ? ( amené par le très juste will be able to )
- selon les goûts des parents : according to the tastes of parents / parents' wishes / the parents ' ideal .
- 3 eme si présent simple , déjà dit + s ou es = nothing seems to be impossible ,... a baby who suits
- what would it be like if all newborns were beautiful and ...?
- it should not ( verbe être ?) : cela ne devrait pas mener ( lead to ) ou cela amènerait( would lead to: conditionnel) à un enfant qui se sent ( feels) rejeté et qui grandit ( 3eme sg, toujours: who grows ) - Ou passez tout au conditionnel.
- subordonnée temporelle au présent anglais quand principale au futur : je t'écrirai de mon hôtel londonien dès que j'y serai . D.abord y être = when I am there , I will write to you . When + présent , proposition principale futur simple (ici) . Je parlerai anglais quand je serai à Londres = I will speak English when I am in London . Régle très importante . ( avec as, while , as soon as ...: une conjonction expriment le temps .
- par hasard ? By chance or planned by both parents ( a couple)
- technology ( 3ème ***) progress>es
- créer son propre bébé : create one ´s own baby
- what ( ce que ) our present society is concerned about whatsoever ( est en quoi que ce soit concernées ) .
- en fait , l'essentiel pour de futurs parents est déjà d'avoir un bébé en bonne santé et apte à découvrir le monde et l'amour autour de lui : un humain avec ses défauts, ses qualités et surtout son existence unique .( je suggère comme conclusion ?) .

Vous étudiez ' Brave new world ' ? Aldous Huxley ? Allez ! Un dernier effort en tenant bien compte de très près des aides de bluduck, lucile and violet .

Réponse: Correction/Design your baby de bluduck2, postée le 24-10-2013 à 20:38:45 (S | E)
Hello ,

Quelques remarques sur la fin . Vous avez écrit en français,puis tenté de traduire ...Voici quelques suggestions pour corriger les dernières phrases
--Commencez par " A child....
--Construction SHOULD + INFINITIF sans to
--Revoir WHEN+ present (sens futur)
--la remarque sur le modal CAN est toujours valable ,celle sur le gérondifégalement
--pas de "that" après because ,dans votre phrase .
--Ne traduisez pas "bien contente" par well !Trouvez un autre adverbe (très= ..../tout à fait....)
--Pour "période à laquelle" ,pensez à "A time when "
--"bienvenu" est plutôt "accepté " "approuvé" que vous devez connaître .
I do hope this helps !
Bluduck2

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Modifié par lucile83 le 24-10-2013 21:07

Réponse: Correction/Design your baby de bluduck2, postée le 25-10-2013 à 09:05:14 (S | E)
Hello !
3 remarques (mes dernières!)
-retenez que "actual"est un faux ami
-retenez que "of" ne peut pas traduire "par"
-cherchez une autre expression que "at a wild look" .
All the best !
from Bluduck2

Réponse: Correction/Design your baby de lili97kat, postée le 26-10-2013 à 13:15:48 (S | E)
Hello!

We can see in this article that medicine is progressing, maybe even too much. Indeed, thanks to the discovery more detailed of DNA and the progression of technologies in the science fields, scientists will be able, apparently, soon, create some babies according to the tastes of parents, for example a child with freckles...Similarly with intellectual level with a high QI and great personality, thereby parents will have the choice.
We notice that nothing is impossible for science. Nevertheless, I found that a little absurd. Give birthing to his baby, with his qualities and his faults is part of life. Would it be interesting to give birth, if all the newborns were beautiful and intelligent?
Each his human being has her charm, the difference consists in the union among people.
However, I agree with the fact that this progress will be able to please some mums, who unfortunately, can't give birth . They are able to satisfy theirs needs choosing their baby who suits them, of course, in the limit of reasonable, not with yellow hair, three eyes...
Should not that child feels excluded (je voulais dire "il ne faut pas que...", when he grows. But how can we be sure that those newborns will not feel outcast, in a way because they have been «conceived » and not born by chance about two parents.
We live in a time when technologie progresses at a rapid pace, and I am absolutely happy can to live that, but I think that create his own baby is not accepted by everyone in our current society.

Non, j'étudie la notion de progrès et je m'entraîne à l'expression écrite
J'ai essayé de tout corriger, mais j'en ai peut être oublié, sorry.
Et merci de m'aider!

Réponse: Correction/Design your baby de violet91, postée le 26-10-2013 à 23:36:20 (S | E)
Hello again et pour la dernière visite ,

Bravo pour la 3ème du sg du présent simple anglais ! Les points remontent .Pourtant :
- déplacez soon : will soon be able to or might soon be able to ( il se pourrait bientôt qu'ils sachent ...
- I can : je peux , je sais . Infinitif : pouvoir > être capable de ( happy to be able to ..)
-Inversez , je vous assure ! intellectual Quotient = IQ.
-give birth .
-each human being has his/her (their) charms
- theirs = le, la , les nôtres = remplace un nom ( pronom) # their needs : leurs ( adj.possessif invariable ) besoins .
- choosing the ( le , pas son ) baby who suits her
-such a baby ( un tel bébé) when he /she becomes a child and grows up, should not feel outcast at all ( du tout)
- born to parents ( pas about : au sujet de )
- technology ( orth anglaise)
- Creating one's own baby is strictly ruled and even forbidden in our current societies , thanks to doctors' ethics . ( règlements et éthique)
Well ...good night .

Réponse: Correction/Design your baby de lili97kat, postée le 27-10-2013 à 13:20:50 (S | E)
Hi

We can see in this article that medicine is progressing, maybe even too much. Indeed, thanks to the discovery more detailed of DNA and the progression of technologies in the science fields, scientists will soon be able to, apparently, create some babies according to the tastes of parents, for example a child with freckles...Similarly with intellectual level with a high IQ and great personality, thereby parents will have the choice.
We notice that nothing is impossible for science. Nevertheless, I found that a little absurd. Give birthing to his baby, with his qualities and his faults is part of life. Would it be interesting to give birth, if all the newborns were beautiful and intelligent?
Each his human being has their charm, the difference consists in the union among people.
However, I agree with the fact that this progress will be able to please some mums, who unfortunately, can't give birth . They are able to satisfy their needs choosing the baby who suits them, of course, in the limit of reasonable, not with yellow hair, three eyes...
Such a baby when he becomes a child and grows up, should not feel outcast at all. But how can we be sure that those newborns will not feel outcast, in a way because they have been «conceived » and not born to two parents by chance.
We live in a time when technologie progresses at a rapid pace, and I am absolutely happy to be able to live that, but I think that creating his own baby is strictly ruled and even forbidden in our current societies, thanks to doctors' ethics.

Deux choses que je n'ai pas compris:
-give birth
-technology

Thanks.

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