Help /Internship email

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Help /Internship email
Message from kev1 posted on 05-01-2014 at 11:42:34 (D | E | F)
Hello,

Could you please help me to improve or correct my dunning email for my internship ?
Thanks in advance !

"Dear Mr. XXX,

I am writing with regard to the internship application that I sent to you on the 6th december 2013. To this day, I haven't received any answer from you regarding my application.
Allow me to remind you that I am very motivated and work in your company should be a great experience.
Feel free to contact Mr. XXX if you need more information on me.

Sincerely,"

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Edited by lucile83 on 05-01-2014 12:02

Re: Help /Internship email from carr30, posted on 05-01-2014 at 14:03:48 (D | E)
Hi
'Dunning' is a very rare word that means asking for payment of a bill. I would describe your mail as a 'chase-up' or 'reminder'.
There is nothing grammatically wrong but the phrasing, to my so British mind appears to be a little impolite.
I suggest the following changes and I hope you hear something soon.

"Dear Mr. XXX,

I am writing with regard to the internship application that I sent to you on the 6th december 2013. ~~To this day~~ As I write, I ~~haven't~~ appear to have not received (..i.e. you need to acknowledge that you may have missed the reply) any ~~answer~~ reply from you regarding my application.

Please Allow me to remind you that I am very motivated and working in your company ~~should~~ would be a great experience for me.

Please Feel free to contact Mr. XXX if you need more information on me.

Sincerely,"

Re: Help /Internship email from bluestar, posted on 05-01-2014 at 15:02:48 (D | E)
Hello,

Carr30 is correct about the lack of politeness and his corrections remedy this fault. If the company in question is British, perhaps the student needs to bear in mind that British companies frequently take long Christmas holidays and this may partly account for the delay.
I would amend the first two sentences as follows:

I am writing with regard to the internship application that I sent to you on the 6th Ddecember 2013.As I write, I do not appear to have received any reply from you.

I wish to emphasise that I am highly motivated etc.

Re: Help /Internship email from kev1, posted on 06-01-2014 at 15:42:41 (D | E)
Thank you for your help !
I understand now why it could appear impolite. It will be very useful for further.
This is for an Irish company, I take note for long Christmas holidays.
Thanks again.

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Edited by lucile83 on 06-01-2014 15:46

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