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Message de niah posté le 08-03-2014 à 13:38:53 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, j'aurais besoin que l'on me corrige un texte : je suis en seconde et le sujet étant d'écrire un article sur un meurtre en anglais .
Voici mon texte :
After the identification, forensics scientists discovered that the body belongs to Elizabeth SMITH. She died from a blow in the head. The 15th February, at 3 a.m, a woman alerts the police because she heard a girl's cry which came from the house of her neighbor. She said“My neighbor don't have any family and friends , so it was weird that I heard a girl voice.” .The accused, John RICHARD, has already been arrested for raspe. But , he denies the facts. Telling his versionof the events, he said that he was at a night club.
The police has set up an appeal of witnesses to confirm his words. Some days later, the authorities declare that the suspect has a good alibi.
Is he really te murderer or a victim of false acusations? The FBI is currently investigating about this question. If you know anything , don't hesitate to conatct police at 101 .
d'avance
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Modifié par lucile83 le 08-03-2014 14:21
Message de niah posté le 08-03-2014 à 13:38:53 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, j'aurais besoin que l'on me corrige un texte : je suis en seconde et le sujet étant d'écrire un article sur un meurtre en anglais .
Voici mon texte :
After the identification, forensics scientists discovered that the body belongs to Elizabeth SMITH. She died from a blow in the head. The 15th February, at 3 a.m, a woman alerts the police because she heard a girl's cry which came from the house of her neighbor. She said“My neighbor don't have any family and friends , so it was weird that I heard a girl voice.” .The accused, John RICHARD, has already been arrested for raspe. But , he denies the facts. Telling his versionof the events, he said that he was at a night club.
The police has set up an appeal of witnesses to confirm his words. Some days later, the authorities declare that the suspect has a good alibi.
Is he really te murderer or a victim of false acusations? The FBI is currently investigating about this question. If you know anything , don't hesitate to conatct police at 101 .
d'avance -------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 08-03-2014 14:21
Réponse: Correction/devoir de titi98, postée le 08-03-2014 à 14:02:02 (S | E)
Hello niah ! Etant moi aussi en seconde, je vais essayer de corriger ton texte du mieux que je peux.
After the identification, forensics scientists discovered that the body belongs to Elizabeth SMITH. She died by a blow in the head. The 15th February, at 3 a.m, a woman alerted the police because she had heard a girl's cry which came from her neighbour's house. She said“My neighbour doesn't have any family and friends , so it was weird that I heard a girl voice.” .The accused, John RICHARD, has already been arrested for raspe. But , he denied the facts. Telling his version of the events, he said that he was at a night club.
The police has set up an appeal of witnesses to confirm his words.A few days later, the authorities declared that the suspect has a good alibi.
Is he really te murderer or a victim of false acusations? The FBI is currently investigating about this question. If you know anything , don't hesitate to conatct police at 101 .
Réponse: Correction/devoir de niah, postée le 08-03-2014 à 14:08:30 (S | E)
Hi ! Merci beaucoup titi98 !! Pour te dire la vérité je pensais avoir fait plus de fautes, tu me sauves ^^
Réponse: Correction/devoir de titi98, postée le 08-03-2014 à 14:11:49 (S | E)
Hihi de rien niah !
Je trouve que ton texte est super bien, tu as eu de très bonnes idées ! Réponse: Correction/devoir de niah, postée le 08-03-2014 à 14:16:00 (S | E)
Haha merci c'est gentil, maintenant est-ce que ça va plaire à la prof? j'espère en tout cas
Réponse: Correction/devoir de titi98, postée le 08-03-2014 à 14:24:00 (S | E)
J'espère moi aussi que ça lui plaira !
Mais ne t'inquiète pas, je suis sûre qu'elle l'aimera ! Bonne continuation !
Réponse: Correction/devoir de here4u, postée le 08-03-2014 à 14:25:30 (S | E)
Hum hum ... Just read one line and think I might help ...
bleu = false
X = something missing
After the identification, forensics scientists discovered that the body belongs to Elizabeth SMITH. She died by a blow in the head.XThe 15thXFebruary, at 3 a.m, a woman alertedbofff ! the police because she had heard a girl's cry which came from her neighbour's house. She said“My neighbour doesn't have any family and friends , so it was weird that I boff boff!heard a girl X voice.” .The accused, John RICHARD, has already been arrested for raspe. But , he denied the facts. Telling his version of the events, he said that he was at a night club.
The police has set up an appeal of witnesses to confirm his words.A few days later, the authorities declared that the suspect has tempsa good alibi.
Is he really te murderer or a victim of false acusations? The FBI is currently investigating about this question. If you know anything , don't hesitate to conatct X police at 101 (I'd dial 911).
Good luck to both of you !
Réponse: Correction/devoir de niah, postée le 08-03-2014 à 14:25:53 (S | E)
En tout cas je remercie encore ! Bonne continuation à toi aussi
Réponse: Correction/devoir de titi98, postée le 08-03-2014 à 14:30:13 (S | E)
Merci !
Réponse: Correction/devoir de titi98, postée le 08-03-2014 à 14:41:27 (S | E)
Hello here4u !
Après avoir lu votre correction, j'ai corrigé quelques fautes, est-ce correct ?
After the identification, forensic scientists discovered that the body belongs to Elizabeth SMITH. She died by a blow in the head. On the 15th of February, at 3 a.m, a woman alerted the police because she had heard a girl's cry which came from her neighbour's house. She said“My neighbour doesn't have any family and friends , so it was weird that I heard a girl's voice.” .The accused, John RICHARD, has already been arrested for raspe. But , he denied the facts. Telling his version of the events, he said that he was at a night club.
The police has set up a witnesses's appeal to confirm his words.A few days later, the authorities declared that the suspect had a good alibi.
Is he really the murderer or a victim of false acusations? The FBI is currently investigating about this question. If you know anything , don't hesitate to conatct the police at 101.
Réponse: Correction/devoir de titi98, postée le 08-03-2014 à 14:43:28 (S | E)
J'ai oublié de corriger ceci : il y a deux "c" à "accusation".
See you !
Réponse: Correction/devoir de niah, postée le 08-03-2014 à 14:45:22 (S | E)
J'étais en train de le faire mais merci pour ton aide titi98 ^^ ( j'ai fais pareil que toi )
Réponse: Correction/devoir de titi98, postée le 08-03-2014 à 14:46:16 (S | E)
Derien niah ! ^^
Réponse: Correction/devoir de niah, postée le 08-03-2014 à 14:47:35 (S | E)
And thank you here4u !
Réponse: Correction/devoir de niah, postée le 08-03-2014 à 15:36:10 (S | E)
J'ai cherché et c'est "an appeal for witnesses"
Réponse: Correction/devoir de titi98, postée le 08-03-2014 à 17:33:59 (S | E)
Super ! Merci pour l'information !
Réponse: Correction/devoir de here4u, postée le 08-03-2014 à 19:21:01 (S | E)
You're both GREAT !
I've just posted a new 'game'about idioms where you could learn a lot ! (you can work in a pair ... !)
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