DM/Coldplay

DM/Coldplay
Message de sasihaj posté le 24-04-2014 à 14:10:27 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,

Je n'arrive vraiment pas à faire cet exercice; pouvez-vous m'aider please s'il vous plaît ?
Je suis mauvaise en anglais, c'est pour cela que j'ai besoin de votre aide.
Merci pour vos réponses..
Voici la consigne:
Write a few lines now:
Look at the card summing up Coldplay's involvement in charities.
Write a short paragraph about what they have done and how.

COLDPLAY
British Rock band since 1996
-Help Hurricane Katrina victims financially/record a charity single wirem Micheal Stipe.
-Support Amnesty International and Cancer Active/gice 10% of their profits.
-Ask that any gift intended for them are donated to charity.
-Support 23 charities/donated items for auctions.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 24-04-2014 18:48
Un plan est très bien; maintenant on attend votre texte correctemnt rédigé.

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Réponse: DM/Coldplay de sherry48, postée le 24-04-2014 à 16:31:28 (S | E)
Hello.

What you have written is a list of ideas or points, and not a paragraph. It's a good idea to start by rephrasing the prompt. For example: The British rock band, Coldplay, is involved in many charities. Then continue with complete sentences giving the evidence to support your first sentence.
I have pointed you in the right direction, but it's up to you to write the paragraph and post it for correction.

Sherry

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Réponse: DM/Coldplay de sasihaj, postée le 25-04-2014 à 13:27:18 (S | E)
Hello,
J'ai fait ces trois textes et je voudrais prendre le meilleur d'entre eux.
Merci de votre aide.
Voilà les textes :

1) Coldplay is a british rock band which formed in 1996. They did many things to help victims and the less fortunate. Some of the actions they took were: helping the victims or Hurricane Katrina by recording a charity single with Micheal Stripe, supporting Amnesty International and Cancer Active by donating 10% of their profits, asking that any gift that was intended for them to be donated to charity, and supporting 23 charities in total by auctioning donated items.


2) Cold Play have been one of the most famous British rock band since 1996. Since then, they have helped much through their involvement in many charities : They have financially helped the victims of hurricane Katrina by recording a charity single written by Mickael Stipe. They have also supported organizations like Amnesty International and Cancer Active by giving them 10% of their profits. Moreover, they have also asked that any gift intented for them should be donated a charities.


3) Since 1996, Coldplay is one of the most famous British rock band . They are quite involved in charities. For example, they financially helped Katrina hurricane victims (by) recording a charity single written by Michael Stipe (who is the singer and composer of the R.E. M band). They support Amnesty International and are Cancer Active : they always give them 10% of their profits. Moreover, they ask that any gift intended for them has to be donated to charities.



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Modifié par lucile83 le 25-04-2014 13:31

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