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Message de tenaelle posté le 09-05-2014 à 10:38:15 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je suis étudiante et on me demande d'écrire une lettre de motivation pour une candidature au programme Erasmus. Malheureusement je n'ai aucun professeur, ni aucune connaissance pour me corriger.
Si vous pouviez me corriger même sur une petite partie, ça m'aiderait beaucoup.
Merci de votre aide.
Dear Madam, Sir
I am really interested by the opportunity of doing my third year of Master in the University of XXX, with the Erasmus exchange program. This project, I thought about it even before I integrated XXX (My University) and I have since ceased to work out my English practice in order to succeed the TOEIC test and be able to participate to the Erasmus program. I already done the first one with a result of 895 points. Having the chance to study Serious Game for 4 months in in Sweden represents for me an enormous opportunity.
Indeed, on a professional approach, be able to adapt and to develop broader outlooks on the world are two indispensable qualities in engineering. Furthermore, spent 4 months in a foreign country will be the guarantee of my English skill that is now needed for a career in IT.
On a schools approach, having the opportunity to study serious game will be really interesting. It’s a field who haven’t enough attention in regards on what he can change in the world. Be a part on this revolution is truly exciting and challenging. Beside, studies in a foreign country will allow me to experience a new pedagogy.
At the end, on a personal way, I intent to use this exchange to discover a new country and his culture and meet new people from around the world. In resume, create the experience of a life as it’s described by people who participate to the Erasmus program.
I hope very much to be nominated for a place at University of XXX.
Thank you in advance for considering my application.
Yours sincerely,
AH
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Modifié par lucile83 le 09-05-2014 12:24
Message de tenaelle posté le 09-05-2014 à 10:38:15 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je suis étudiante et on me demande d'écrire une lettre de motivation pour une candidature au programme Erasmus. Malheureusement je n'ai aucun professeur, ni aucune connaissance pour me corriger.
Si vous pouviez me corriger même sur une petite partie, ça m'aiderait beaucoup.
Merci de votre aide.
Dear Madam, Sir
I am really interested by the opportunity of doing my third year of Master in the University of XXX, with the Erasmus exchange program. This project, I thought about it even before I integrated XXX (My University) and I have since ceased to work out my English practice in order to succeed the TOEIC test and be able to participate to the Erasmus program. I already done the first one with a result of 895 points. Having the chance to study Serious Game for 4 months in in Sweden represents for me an enormous opportunity.
Indeed, on a professional approach, be able to adapt and to develop broader outlooks on the world are two indispensable qualities in engineering. Furthermore, spent 4 months in a foreign country will be the guarantee of my English skill that is now needed for a career in IT.
On a schools approach, having the opportunity to study serious game will be really interesting. It’s a field who haven’t enough attention in regards on what he can change in the world. Be a part on this revolution is truly exciting and challenging. Beside, studies in a foreign country will allow me to experience a new pedagogy.
At the end, on a personal way, I intent to use this exchange to discover a new country and his culture and meet new people from around the world. In resume, create the experience of a life as it’s described by people who participate to the Erasmus program.
I hope very much to be nominated for a place at University of XXX.
Thank you in advance for considering my application.
Yours sincerely,
AH
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 09-05-2014 12:24
Réponse: Lettre motivation/Erasmus de bluduck2, postée le 09-05-2014 à 16:09:10 (S | E)
Bonjour tenaelle ,
Voici quelques suggestions de correction
-ligne 1 :to be interested in ;
-ligne 3: "chance" veut dire "hasard", préférez "opportunity"
-ligne 3 :to do, present perfect
-ligne 5: "be" au gérondif (même remarque pour "spend" ,create" ,"be" ,plus loin dans le texte)
-ligne 7 :"school "au singulier
-ligne 7 :pour "domaine",préférez "area" ;c'est un mot neutre et le verbe est conjugué à la 3ème personne du singulier .
-ligne 9 :faute de frappe à "to intend"
-ligne 10:"country" est un mot neutre
-ligne 10 : "to resume "est un faut ami (il veut dire "reprendre une activité" )
"a résumé" est un C.V . Vous voulez sans doute dire "As a conclusion"
-ligne 10 :to take part in
I hope this helps !
Bluduck2
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