Cover letter/Correction

Cover letter/Correction
Message de skiz posté le 04-09-2014 à 11:04:00 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
Je suis tout juste diplômé d'une école d'ingénieur et je recherche un VIE (Volontariat international en entreprise).
Pourriez-vous s'il vous plait me relire ma lettre de motivation ? La voici :

I am writing to you regarding the VIE offer 'XXX' you posted on XXX. As I have been graduated from the XXX in XXX, France, I am currently looking for a VIE in Germany.
This offer caught my attention since I think I have both the skills and the background you are looking for. The general courses at the XXX give the scientifical and social knowledges to meet the actual company needs. Moreover, my differents hobbies give me a lot of technical skills in the automotive fields, which can only be learn by the practice. As part of my studies in the Mechanical department, I have done several internships, including one in Germany, and I have been one semester abroad as an Erasmus exchange programme student at the D-E University in Germany. It gave me the opportunity to practice foreign languages, German and English, and to gain experiences in anoter country.
It would be an outstanding opportunity for me to do a VIE as a CAD-consultant in the XXX company which provides internationally leading engineering and consulting service. In addition, it would be a perfect start to continue later to work in the German automotive industry.
Please find attached my CV for your review.
I thank you in advance for your consideration of my willingness to work in your company. I would be happy to make myself available for interviews at your convenience.
Yours faithfully,


Merci par avance!

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Modifié par lucile83 le 04-09-2014 11:26

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Réponse: Cover letter/Correction de skiz, postée le 23-09-2014 à 10:48:48 (S | E)
S'il vous plait, quelqu'un pourrait m'aider ? c'est assez urgent ...

Merci beaucoup !

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Réponse: Cover letter/Correction de here4u, postée le 23-09-2014 à 11:51:05 (S | E)
Hello !
Allez, on y va !

I am writing to you regarding the VIE offer 'XXX' you posted on XXX. As I have been graduated from the XXX in XXX, France, I am currently looking for a VIE in Germany.
This offer caught my attention since I think I have both the skills and the background you are looking for. The general courses at the XXX give the scientifical and social knowledges to meet the actual company needs(needs of your company 'would be better). Moreover, my differents(adj,invariables!) hobbies give me a lot of technical skills in the automotive fields, which can only be learn by the practice. As part of my studies in the Mechanical department, I have done several internships, including one in Germany, and I have been one semester abroad as an Erasmus exchange programme student at the D-E University in Germany. It gave me the opportunity to practice foreign languages, German and English, and to gain experiences in anoter country.
It would be an outstanding opportunity for me to do a VIE as a CAD-consultant in the XXX company which provides internationally leading engineering and consulting service. In addition, it would be a perfect start to continue later to work in the German automotive industry.
Please find attached my CV XXX(attached) for your review.
I thank you in advance for your consideration of my great willingness(and motivation) to work in your company. I would be happy to make myself available for interviews at your convenience.(and am really looking forward to hearing from you soon).
Yours faithfully,

If I were you, I'd insist more clearly that my experience and motivation could be a real asset for them !
Hope it will help !

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Réponse: Cover letter/Correction de skiz, postée le 23-09-2014 à 12:08:30 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour la réponse !
J'ai essayé de corriger les erreurs mais j'ai du mal avec certaines ...

I am writing to you regarding the VIE offer xxx you posted on xxx. As I have graduated from the xxx School in xxx, France, I am currently looking for a VIE in Germany.

This offer caught my attention since I think I have both the skills and the background you are looking for. The general courses at the xxx give ("the general courses" pluriel donc pas de S à give, si ?) the scientific and social knowledge ("Knowledge is uncountable") to meet the needs of your company . Moreover, my different hobbies give me a lot of technical skills in the automotive fields, which can only be learned by the practice (pas de THE ?). As part of my studies in the Mechanical department, I have done several internships, including one in Germany, and I have been one semester abroad as an Erasmus exchange programme student at the xxx University in Germany. It gave me the opportunity to practise (verbe practise / nom practice ) foreign languages, German and English, and to gain experience in another country.

It would be an outstanding opportunity for me to do a VIE as a CAD-consultant in the xxx company which provides internationally leading engineering and consulting service. In addition, it would be a perfect start to continue later to work in the German automotive industry.

Please find my CV for your review.

I thank you in advance for your consideration of my willingness and motivation to work in your company. I would be happy to make myself available for interviews at your convenience and am really looking forward to hearing from you soon.


J'espère que j'ai bien corrigé mes fautes et si vous pouviez s'il vous plait juste m'aider pour les dernières. Merci par avance

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Modifié par skiz le 23-09-2014 12:08

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