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Message de global posté le 09-10-2014 à 18:17:05 (S | E | F)
Dear all
I'd like to have a correction of my passage about travelling please.
Many thanks for any reply.
The travelling: going from place to place, this's dictionary definition.
I think it's a good way to go out countries for relaxing after a long working time. When a someone travel they discover news things such as : the language, the money, the habits, the costumes...
If you go on trip you should be to know the model houses and the Architure when you are walking in different cities, streets; it's a same if you would to eat something you must to discover all foods, fruits and the tradional dishes.
For me I like so much the travelling I have the chance to visit a different countries on Europe but before my first trip I alwas dream to go out my contrie for changing the atmosphere. On 2009 my dream became reality, I went to Italy by plane with my some colleagues to participate on a footbal tounament between company but misfortune I didn't participate because I had an injury in my right ankle but it was interesting travel, so our team won it.
The second trip was on 2010, I went to France I visited le mans, Paris. I met my binomial on university in Le mans, he had married with french women. I was happy to share with him some memory.
The last journey, it was with my best friend we were going to Paris when we went another friend living in France since 2000, we decided to go to Germany by car, Dusseldorf it was a beautiful city we discover the news ideas about it and we go to Amsterdam, it called city bike, it was wonderful trip.
I'd like to visit London in future, I hope.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 09-10-2014 18:51
Message de global posté le 09-10-2014 à 18:17:05 (S | E | F)
Dear all
I'd like to have a correction of my passage about travelling please.
Many thanks for any reply.
The travelling: going from place to place, this's dictionary definition.
I think it's a good way to go out countries for relaxing after a long working time. When a someone travel they discover news things such as : the language, the money, the habits, the costumes...
If you go on trip you should be to know the model houses and the Architure when you are walking in different cities, streets; it's a same if you would to eat something you must to discover all foods, fruits and the tradional dishes.
For me I like so much the travelling I have the chance to visit a different countries on Europe but before my first trip I alwas dream to go out my contrie for changing the atmosphere. On 2009 my dream became reality, I went to Italy by plane with my some colleagues to participate on a footbal tounament between company but misfortune I didn't participate because I had an injury in my right ankle but it was interesting travel, so our team won it.
The second trip was on 2010, I went to France I visited le mans, Paris. I met my binomial on university in Le mans, he had married with french women. I was happy to share with him some memory.
The last journey, it was with my best friend we were going to Paris when we went another friend living in France since 2000, we decided to go to Germany by car, Dusseldorf it was a beautiful city we discover the news ideas about it and we go to Amsterdam, it called city bike, it was wonderful trip.
I'd like to visit London in future, I hope.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 09-10-2014 18:51
Réponse: Travelling /correction de tdu6300, postée le 11-10-2014 à 14:59:10 (S | E)
Hello
I split your text in two parts because it was too long to correct it in one piece.
Here is my contribution for part 1
Blue = Errors
Green = My propositions
XXX = Missing word or punctuation
(Lien...) refer to web links at the end of the text
The (Lien articles) travelling: going from place to place, this's (No contraction) XXX dictionary definition.
I think it's a good way to go out countries (What do you mean? Go out of your country? Go out to visit other countries?) for relaxing after a long working time (Find a synonym). When a someone (Do you mean “une personne” or “quelqu’un” or “on”?) travel (Conjugation) they (You have to be coherent; If you start with “quelqu’un” or “on”, you must continue with the same person. It cannot be “quelqu’un” or “on” and then “ils”) discover (If you change the pronoun, you will have to conjugate "discover" differently) news (Plural supported by "things") things such as : the language, the money, the habits, the costumes...(Lien articles)
If you go on XXX trip you should be to know (What do you mean? Are you talking about some kind of discovery, or curiosity?) the model houses (What do you mean?) and the Architure when you are walking in different cities, (Replace the comma by a word of liaison) streets; it's a (wrong article) same if you would XXX to eat something you must to discover all foods, fruits and the (Lien articles) tradional dishes.
For me (Construction; In English, sentences don’t start with “for me”) I like so much the travelling (Construction; “travelling” is a verb, so no article. The verb is correct but in the wrong place. And if you modify your sentence, then "so much" has to be modified too) I have XXX (Conjugation) the chance to visit a (Lien articles) different countries on (Lien prepositions) Europe but before my first trip I alwas (Spelling) dream (Conjugation) to go out XXX my contrie (Spelling) for changing the atmosphere. (Do tou want to change the atmosphere of your country, of the planet? I think that what you mean is “pour changer”) On (Lien prepositions) 2009 my dream became reality, (Punctuation. Try “;”) I went to Italy by plane with my some (quelques uns de mes) colleagues to participate on (simplify your sentence; change the verb) a footbal tounament (Spelling) between company (Only one company?) but misfortune (wrong word) I didn't participate because I had an injury in (Lien prepositions) my right ankle but it was XXX interesting travel, so (wrong word; “so” = “donc”) our team won it. (Won what? The travel?)
The second trip was on (Lien 3) 2010, (Punctuation; Start a new sentence) I went to France XXX I visited le mans (initials in uppercase) , (Replace the comma by a liaison word) Paris. I met my binomial (I’m not sure you can use this word in this context. Try something simpler) on (Lien prepositions) university in Le mans, (Spelling; Uppercase. Punctuation: replace the comma (,) by a semicolon (;) or a final dot (.)) he had married with (Either you change “had” or you change “with”, but you cannot have both in that sentence) french women. I was happy to share with him (Construction; “with him” should be placed elsewhere in the sentence) some memory (Plural).
Lien articles
Lien internet
Lien 2
Lien internet
Lien prépositions
Lien internet
Lien 3
Lien internet
End part 1
Hope it helps
Best regards
Réponse: Travelling /correction de tdu6300, postée le 11-10-2014 à 15:18:16 (S | E)
Hello
I split your text in two parts because it was too long to treat it in one piece.
This is my contribution to part 2
Blue = Errors
Green = My propositions
XXX = Missing word or punctuation
(Lien...) refer to web links at the end of the text
The last journey, it was with my best friend(Modify this passage and make it become a sentence; start a new sentence after “friend”) we were going (Conjugation) to Paris when we went (Not correct; “quand nous allions” ne veut rien dire ici; Paris is a geographical place, so “when” does not correspond to the situation) another friend living in France since XXX XXX 2000, (Punctuation; Replace by (.) and start a new sentence) we decided to go to Germany by car, (Replace the comma by a preposition) DusseldorfX (Punctuation; Start a new sentence) it was a beautiful cityX (Punctuation; Start a new sentence) we discover (Conjugation) the news ideas about it (What do you mean?) and we go (Conjugation) to Amsterdam, (Punctuation; Start a new sentence) it XXX called city bike, (Punctuation; Start a new sentence) it was XXX wonderful trip.
I'd like to visit London in XXX future, I hope. (“I hope” is not necessary here as you already expressed it with “I’d like”)
End of part 2
Hope it helps you.
You have made a great effort, but there still are many mistakes. I advise you to follow the "Guide de travail" to progress.
I encourage you to carry on your work
Best regards
Réponse: Travelling /correction de global, postée le 14-10-2014 à 11:15:54 (S | E)
Thanks a lot for your correction tdu6300,
My text is corrected now
A travelling: going from place to place. It is a dictionary definition.
I think it's a good to go out to visit other contries for relaxing after a hardly time ow work. When someone travels, he descovers such as news things, a language, a money, a habit, a custumes...
If you go on the trip to find the style of houses are different than ours and the architure. When you are walking in there streets; it's the same if you would like to eat something you must to descover all foods, fruits and a tradional dishes.
However, I like so much travelling, I have had the chance to vist severals contries in Europe, but before my first trip I always dream to go out of my contry for changing the atmosphere just for my moral. In 2009 my dream became reality; I went to Italy by plane with my colleagues to play a football tournamet between companies but unfortunality I didn't participate because I had an injury on my right ankle it was an interesting travel; our team was a champion
.The second travel was in 2010 i went to France; I visited Le Mans and Paris. I met my university friend's in Le Mans; he had get married to french woman. I was happy tp share to him some memories.
Finaly, I and my best frind had being visited Paris in this voyage we met another friend who he has being living in Paris since 2000 year; we decided to go to Germany by car, we wisited Dusseldorf it was a beautiful city; after this visit we went to Amesterdam called city bike; it was an woderful trip. I'd like to visit London in the futur.
Many thanks
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