Correction/Adolescence

Correction/Adolescence
Message de korimizu posté le 27-10-2014 à 16:30:57 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Pourriez-vous corriger ma rédaction s'il vous plaît ?
Merci beaucoup !
Le sujet était : "Would you say that teen years are the best or the best of your life ? Why(not)?"
Voici mon texte:

I have a mixed opinion about teen years are the best of my life.
Teen years could be the best of my life because when we are teenagers, we don't have a lot of responsabilities like pay the rent, take care of the family if we have one, work, to be independent, own up to what you've done,save money etc.
We have also lots of time to spare during teenage years(go out with friend,go shopping) because parents do everything or almost, cook, housework, earn money.. We just have to work at school and do homework. For exemple, when we would buy a game, these are the parents who buy this for us or when we do a silly thing, these are the parents who fix this.
Maybe adults years could be better than teen years because we are free, we can travel, go to party or nightclub, buy everything if we have money without parents' consent.
We also have more right like vote,drive freely,drink alcohol,get a passport or identity card...
In conclusion,I think,I could decide what period of my life is the best when I will live my majority.

Et encore merci d'avance !

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Modifié par lucile83 le 27-10-2014 17:13

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Réponse: Correction/Adolescence de here4u, postée le 27-10-2014 à 16:58:32 (S | E)
hello

bleu = error
souligné = maladroit
vert = suggestions
XXX éléments manquants.

I have a mixed opinion about teen years XXXX are the best of my life. revoir toute la construction)
Teen years could be the best of my life because when we are teenagers, we don't have a lot of responsabilities like pay the rent, take care of the family if we have one, work, to be independent, own up to what you've done,save money etc.
We have also lots of time to spare during teenage years(go out with friend,go shopping) because parents do everything or almost, cook XXXX housework, earn money.. We just have to work at school and do homework. For exemple, when we do a silly thing, these are the parents who fix this.
Maybe adults years could be better than teen years because we are free, we can travel, go to party or nightclub, buy everything if we have money without xxx parents' consent.
We also have more right like vote,drive freely,drink alcohol,get a passport or identity card...

In conclusion,I think,I could decide what period of my life is the best when I will live my majority.

Bon courage !

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Réponse: Correction/Adolescence de korimizu, postée le 27-10-2014 à 18:16:27 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Merci beaucoup pour votre aide,
Si vous avez encore du temps pourriez-vous vérifier s'il y a encore des erreurs?

I have a mixed opinion about teen years are the best of my life.(je n'ai pas compris comment rectifier cela..)
Teen years could be the best of my life because when we are teenagers, we don't have a lot of responsibilities like paying the rent, taking care of the family if we have one, working, being independent, owning up to what you've done,saving money etc.
We have also lots of time to spare during teenage years(go out with friend,go shopping) because parents do everything or almost, cook, do the housework, earn money.. We just have to work at school and do homework. For example, when we would buy a game, they are the parents who buy this for us or when we do a silly thing, they are the parents who fix this.
Maybe adults years could be better than teen years because we are free, we can travel, go to parties or nightclubs, buy everything if we have money without the parents' consent.
We also have more rights like voting,driving freely,drinking alcohol,getting a passport or identity card...

In conclusion,I think,I could decide what period of my life is the best when I will be an adult.

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Réponse: Correction/Adolescence de korimizu, postée le 29-10-2014 à 13:19:47 (S | E)
Il y a quelqu'un?

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Réponse: Correction/Adolescence de notrepere, postée le 29-10-2014 à 16:15:59 (S | E)
Hello

I have a mixed opinion(1) about the teen years being the best of my life.
The teen years could be the best of my life because when we are teenagers, we don't have a lot of responsibilities like paying the rent, taking care of the family (if we have one), working, being independent, owning up to what you've done, saving money etc.
We also have lots of time to spare during the teenage years(go out with friends,go shopping) because parents do everything or almost, cook, do the housework, earn money.. We just have to work at school and do homework. For example, when we would buy a game, it is the parents who buy this for us or when we do a silly thing, they are(idem) the parents who fix this.
Maybe adults(2) years could be better than teen years because we are free, we can travel, go to parties or nightclubs, buy everything if we have money without the parents' consent.
We also have more rights like voting,driving freely,drinking alcohol,getting a passport or identity card...

In conclusion,I think,I will decide what period of my life is the best when I will be(3) an adult.

(1) mettre au pluriel sans article
(2) mettre au singulier avec un article
(3) futur en français, présent en anglais

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Réponse: Correction/Adolescence de korimizu, postée le 29-10-2014 à 17:39:08 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour votre aide !
Par contre je ne comprends pas pourquoi dans cette phrase ' the teen years being the best of my life" nous mettons being.

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