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Message de sckabook56 posté le 19-11-2014 à 21:34:59 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir à tous,
je vous transmets ci-dessous un dialogue court qui met en avant (de façon relative) la consommation du "paraître".
Seulement, je ne suis pas sûre de ma rédaction et j'aimerais s'il vous plaît que quelqu'un me corrige ou m'aide à corriger mes fautes d'orthographe, de grammaire... Voici mon texte (je vous mets aussi le texte en français que j'ai dû traduire):
FRANCAIS :
Dylan et Sarah sont deux amis qui discutent pendant la récréation. Sarah est fière de sa nouvelle tenue qu'elle a acheté la veille :
S : - Tu as vu j'ai fais du shopping hier ! Je me suis achetée le dernier pantalon le temps des cerises. Tu sais, de grandes stars portent ce genre de chose comme Emma Watson !
D : - Il est très beau mais il a du coûter extrêmement cher ?
S : - Oui mais c'est un jean de marque .. Je me suis fait plaisir j'ai aussi acheté ce tee short qui vient de chez Guess ! C'est un article de leur nouvelle collection automne hiver !
D : - Alors toi tu achètes tous ce qui est a la mode en ce moment ? Une personne célèbre, un nouvel article de marque et tu consommes sans réfléchir ? Peut-être que dans un mois, tes vêtements ne seront plus du tout fashion. Et tu as vu les prix ? Moi je porte des vêtements sans marque, ils sont moins chers et je reçois aussi des compliments. Tu n'as visiblement pas ton propre style.

TRADUCTION :
Dylan and Sarah are two friends who discuss ?? during the recretion. Sarah is proud of her new dress that she bought the day before :
S : - Looking, I went shopping yesterday ! I bought the last pants « The time of cherries ». You know, great stars wear this sort of thing like Emma Watson !
D : - It is very gorgeous but it ??(je n'arrive pas à transcrire : "il a dû". expessive ?
S : - Yes though it is a brand jean... I indulged myself and I also bought this tee shirt which comes from Guess ! It is an article of their new autumn-winter collection !
D : - Then, you buy all what is considered "fashionnable" at that moment ! A celebrity, a brand new item and you consume without thinking ? Maybe in one month, your clothes won't any more fashionnable. And you have already watched out for the price ? I wear clothes unbranded, it is cheaper and I receive compliment too. You have not obviously your own style.

beaucoup pour votre aide.
PS : j'ai reçu le sujet seulement ce matin....

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Modifié par lucile83 le 20-11-2014 00:10

Réponse: Translation/Aide de notrepere, postée le 20-11-2014 à 06:36:09 (S | E)
Hello

TRADUCTION :
Dylan and Sarah are two friends who discuss(autre mot + forme progressive) during the recretion(autre traduction + orthographe). Sarah is proud of her new dress that she bought the day before(OK) :
S : - Looking(mal dit), I went shopping yesterday ! I bought (mot manquant - verbe pronominal) the last(mauvaise traduction - le plus récent) pants « The time of cherries ». You know, great stars wear this sort of thing like Emma Watson !
D : - It is very gorgeous but it (modal - le verbe 'devoir' se traduit souvent comme quoi en anglais ?) expessive(orthographe) ?
S : - Yes though it is a brand jean... I indulged myself and I also bought this tee shirt which comes from Guess ! It is an article of their new autumn-winter collection !
D : - Then, you buy all that is considered "fashionnable"(orthographe) at the moment ! A celebrity, a brand new item and you consume without thinking ? Maybe in one month, your clothes won't (verbe manquant - il faut traduite 'seront')~~any more~~ fashionnable(orthographe) any longer. And you have already watched out for (mal dit) the price ? I wear clothes unbranded(mal dit), it is(pluriel) cheaper and I receive compliment too. You have not obviously (mal dit - le verbe 'have' ne va pas) your own style.

Réponse: Translation/Aide de sckabook56, postée le 20-11-2014 à 11:36:21 (S | E)
Bonjour notrepere,
voici ma correction, je ne suis pas sûre pour certains mots ou expressions, comme par exemple : "And you have already paid attention to the price?"...
TRADUCTION :
Dylan are talking to Sarah, his friends during the playtime. Sarah is proud of her new dress that she bought the day before :
S : - Look, I went shopping yesterday ! I bought myself the latest pants « The time of cherries ». You know, great stars wear this sort of thing like Emma Watson !
D : - It is very gorgeous but it must cost expensive ?
S : - Yes though it is a brand jean... I indulged myself and I also bought this tee shirt which comes from Guess ! It is an article of their new autumn-winter collection !
D : - Then, you buy all that is considered "fashionable" at the moment ! A celebrity, a brand new item and you consume without thinking ? Maybe in one month, your clothes won't be fashionable any longer. And you have already paid attention to the price ? I wear non-branded clothes , there are cheaper and I receive compliment too. You don't find obviously your own fashion style.

J'espère que je n'ai pas fait trop de fautes dans ma correction mais rien n'est moins sûr...
En tout cas, merci beaucoup pour votre aide précieuse!

Réponse: Translation/Aide de notrepere, postée le 20-11-2014 à 17:45:37 (S | E)
Hello

Your text is a lot better. Still a few corrections.

Dylan is talking to Sarah(1), his friends(2) during the playtime(3). Sarah is proud of her new dress that she bought the day before :
S : - Look, I went shopping yesterday ! I bought myself the latest pants « Le temps des cerises(4) ». You know, great stars wear this sort of thing like Emma Watson !
D : - It is very gorgeous but it must cost a lot/must have been expensive ?
S : - Yes though it is a branded(5) jean... I indulged myself and I also bought this tee shirt which comes from Guess ! It is an article of their new autumn-winter collection !
D : - Then, you buy(6) all that is considered "fashionable" at the moment ! A celebrity, a brand new item and you consume without thinking ? Maybe in one month, your clothes won't be fashionable any longer. And have you seen the price ? I wear non-branded clothes , they are cheaper and I receive compliments too. You don't find obviously(7) your own fashion style.

(1) Oui, mais le sens est perdu.
(2) ses amis ?
(3) playtime c'est pour les enfants. Autre mot demandé
(4) Le temps des cerises is the branded name. You don't need to translate it.
(5) branded brand-name
(6) la forme progressive vaudrait mieux
(7) you + obviously + verbe "to have" (au négatif) + verbe "to find" au prétérit

Réponse: Translation/Aide de sckabook56, postée le 22-11-2014 à 16:22:14 (S | E)
Good afternoon,
thanks a lot for your help ! I hope I managed to correct my last mistakes...

Dylan is talking to Sarah, his friend, during the recess. Sarah is proud of her new dress that she bought the day before :
S : - Look, I went shopping yesterday ! I bought myself the latest pants « Le temps des cerises ». You know, great stars wear this sort of thing like Emma Watson !
D : - It is very gorgeous but it must cost a lot/must have been expensive ?
S : - Yes though it is a branded jean... I indulged myself and I also bought this tee shirt which comes from Guess ! It is an article of their new autumn-winter collection !
D : - Then, you are buying all that is considered "fashionable" at the moment ! A celebrity, a brand new item and you consume without thinking ? Maybe in one month, your clothes won't be fashionable any longer. And have you seen the price ? I wear non-branded clothes , they are cheaper and I receive compliments too. You obviously have not found your own fashion style.

Cordially,
sckabook56.

Réponse: Translation/Aide de notrepere, postée le 22-11-2014 à 17:57:35 (S | E)
Bonjour

Très bien.

Réponse: Translation/Aide de sckabook56, postée le 22-11-2014 à 18:57:04 (S | E)
Okay, super, merci encore!
Bonne soirée.

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