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Message de pipao posté le 27-11-2014 à 21:26:38 (S | E | F)
Hi everyone!
I am a French student (L1 LLCE) and I was told to write an essay about Bram Stocker's novel, as everyone knows: Dracula.
This essay is very important for the rest of my school year, and I come here in order to have advice about what I wrote, style, whether I wrote mistakes or not...
Any help will be appreciated!
Dracula,by Bram Stocker :
This extract probably belongs to one of the most famous fantastic novel written during the XIXth century, a novel entitled « Dracula », by Bram Stocker.
In this story, we are following a young notary, named Jonathan Harker, who is supposed to close an important deal in Romania with a scheming character, Count Dracula.
We begin the reading at chapter three, in which the main character, Jonathan, seems to be in difficulty with three young, strange women.
By reading this extract, we will be confronted to several interesting decriptions of the characters, which will lead us to the evolution of the scene from a sort of erotism to a strong feeling of horror.
This mix of contradictory elements will finally enable us to think about the reversal of the two main characters's roles.
We don't know exactly where Jonathan is or why is he there, we only know that he already was in this place before the beginning of the extract.
The description of the place is court, not detailled, and lets the reader creates the atmosphere he wants. We just know that the scene takes place during the night, thanks to several uses of the world « moonlight » (line 2-3)
Then are evoked the three ladies, through the internal point of view of Jonathan, as the entire story is written.
Jonathan is afraid, and the fear he feels certainly comes from the animal side, the animal beauty of these girls. That's what make him « uneasy » (line 11), when he see their « red eyes » (line 6) their « brilliant teeth » (line 10) and above all, their « voluptuous lips » (line 10)
What is more, there are several expressions that make us understand that such women can't be human beings, these expressions strengthen the impression of unreality. « The sound never could have come through the softness of human lips » (line 15)
All the characters (the girls and Dracula himself) except Jonathan of course, are sharing common physical characteristics, like « red eyes » or « aquiline nose ». These similiraties are a proof that they belong to something that we can't already understand.
Despite of the strange and unexplainable waves that are constituting the atmosphere of this scene, the attraction of Jonathan for these women is strengthened by the fear that he feels, which makes him powerless, facing such a mix of dreadful beautifulness, of animal spirit.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 27-11-2014 21:31
Message de pipao posté le 27-11-2014 à 21:26:38 (S | E | F)
Hi everyone!
I am a French student (L1 LLCE) and I was told to write an essay about Bram Stocker's novel, as everyone knows: Dracula.
This essay is very important for the rest of my school year, and I come here in order to have advice about what I wrote, style, whether I wrote mistakes or not...
Any help will be appreciated!
Dracula,by Bram Stocker :
This extract probably belongs to one of the most famous fantastic novel written during the XIXth century, a novel entitled « Dracula », by Bram Stocker.
In this story, we are following a young notary, named Jonathan Harker, who is supposed to close an important deal in Romania with a scheming character, Count Dracula.
We begin the reading at chapter three, in which the main character, Jonathan, seems to be in difficulty with three young, strange women.
By reading this extract, we will be confronted to several interesting decriptions of the characters, which will lead us to the evolution of the scene from a sort of erotism to a strong feeling of horror.
This mix of contradictory elements will finally enable us to think about the reversal of the two main characters's roles.
We don't know exactly where Jonathan is or why is he there, we only know that he already was in this place before the beginning of the extract.
The description of the place is court, not detailled, and lets the reader creates the atmosphere he wants. We just know that the scene takes place during the night, thanks to several uses of the world « moonlight » (line 2-3)
Then are evoked the three ladies, through the internal point of view of Jonathan, as the entire story is written.
Jonathan is afraid, and the fear he feels certainly comes from the animal side, the animal beauty of these girls. That's what make him « uneasy » (line 11), when he see their « red eyes » (line 6) their « brilliant teeth » (line 10) and above all, their « voluptuous lips » (line 10)
What is more, there are several expressions that make us understand that such women can't be human beings, these expressions strengthen the impression of unreality. « The sound never could have come through the softness of human lips » (line 15)
All the characters (the girls and Dracula himself) except Jonathan of course, are sharing common physical characteristics, like « red eyes » or « aquiline nose ». These similiraties are a proof that they belong to something that we can't already understand.
Despite of the strange and unexplainable waves that are constituting the atmosphere of this scene, the attraction of Jonathan for these women is strengthened by the fear that he feels, which makes him powerless, facing such a mix of dreadful beautifulness, of animal spirit.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 27-11-2014 21:31
Réponse: Essai/ Dracula de pipao, postée le 27-11-2014 à 21:33:59 (S | E)
I forgot to add that it is the first part of my essay, two other parts are waiting for my creativity ahaha
Réponse: Essai/ Dracula de violet91, postée le 28-11-2014 à 13:42:26 (S | E)
Hello,
I am reading and working at your essay ! No panic . Coming in a minute .
Réponse: Essai/ Dracula de violet91, postée le 28-11-2014 à 14:04:54 (S | E)
This extract probably ( mal placé ou inutile)belongs to one of the most famous fantastic novel( pl) written during the XIXth century ( exact date ), a novel entitled « Dracula », by Bram Stocker.
In this story, we are following a young notary( voc.), named Jonathan Harker, who is supposed to close an important deal ( un peu confus, explicitez))in Romania with a scheming character, Count Dracula.
We begin the reading at chapter three, in which the main character,(virgules effaçables ) Jonathan, seems to be in difficulty with three young, ponctuation inutile strange women.
By ( autre préposition)reading this extract ( utilisez l'autre mot pour varier), we will be confronted to several interesting decriptions( barbarisme) of the characters, which will lead us to the evolution of the scene from a sort of erotism to a strong feeling of horror.( Bien !)
This mix( voc.) of contradictory elements will finally enable us to think about the reversal of the two main characters's( inutile : génitif pluriel ordinaire) roles.
We don't know exactly where Jonathan is or why is he ( inversez: interr.indirecte)there, we only know that he already was* in this( autre démonstr.plutôt) place before the beginning of the extract( pas forcément nécessaire).
The description of the place is court, not detailled (spelling), and lets the reader creates
proposition infinitive )the atmosphere he wants. We just know that the scene takes place during the night, thanks to several uses of the world « moonlight » (line 2-3) Then are evoked( à daplacer) the three ladies, through the internal point of view of Jonathan, as the entire story is written.(Bien)
Jonathan is afraid, and the fear he feels certainly comes from the animal side, the animal beauty of these girls. That's( forme pleine + tenue) what make
( 3eme sg)him « uneasy » (line 11), when he see ( idem)their « red eyes » (line 6) their « brilliant teeth » (line 10) and above all, their « voluptuous lips » (line 10) ( cette notion associée aux autres déclenche ,est très suggestive ...étoffez sur le genre littéraire auquel on a affaire ) What is more, there are several expressions that make us understand ( voilà ! bon modèle)that such women can't be human beings, these expressions strengthen the impression of unreality. « The sound never could have come through the softness of human lips » (line 15)
All the characters (the girls and Dracula himself)(mettez des tirets , à la place ) except Jonathan of course, are sharing ( autre present' definitif)common physical characteristics, like « red eyes » or « aquiline nose ». These similiraties are a proof that they belong to' something' that we can't already understand.
Despite of( inutile) the strange and unexplainable waves that are constituting( autre présent / constat) the atmosphere of this scene, the attraction of Jonathan for these women is strengthened ( cherchez un synonyme )by the fear that he feels, which makes( voilà ! bon modèle donc) him powerless, facing such a mix of dreadful beautifulness, of animal spirit.(peut-être à mieux formuler . 4trop de 'animal' too)
Lien internet
* you could use 'for a while ' therefore a present continuous .
Mind the use of 'this 'and ' that ' .'These' and 'those '.
I hope this helps . Looking forward to reading your next work .
Réponse: Essai/ Dracula de pipao, postée le 28-11-2014 à 14:47:06 (S | E)
thanks for your help! I will work more deeply on the mistakes you found
Réponse: Essai/ Dracula de pipao, postée le 28-11-2014 à 17:31:28 (S | E)
This extract belongs to one of the most famous fantastic novels written during the XIXth century (published in 1897), a novel entitled « Dracula », by Bram Stocker.
In this story, we are following a young solicitor, named Jonathan Harker, who is supposed to close an important deal in Romania with a scheming character, Count Dracula.
We begin the reading at chapter three, in which the main character, Jonathan, seems to be in difficulty with three young, inutile strange women.
In reading this extract we will be confronted to several interesting portraits of the characters, which will lead us to the evolution of the scene from a sort of erotism to a strong feeling of horror.
This blend of contradictory elements will finally enable us to think about the reversal of the two main characters roles, to finish with a court reflexion about the myth that Dracula constitutes.
We don't know exactly where Jonathan is or why he is there, we only know that he already was in that place before the beginning of the extract.
The description of the place is court, not detailled, and lets the reader create the atmosphere he wants. We just know that the scene takes place during the night, thanks to several uses of the world « moonlight » (line 2-3)
Then the three ladies are evoked, through the internal point of view of Jonathan, as the entire story is written.
Jonathan is afraid, and the fear he feels certainly comes from the animal side, the animal beauty of these girls. That is what makes him « uneasy » (line 11), when he sees their « red eyes » (line 6) their « brilliant teeth » (line 10) and above all, their « voluptuous lips » (line 10)
What is more, there are several expressions that make us understand that such women can't be human beings, these expressions strengthen the impression of unreality. « The sound never could have come through the softness of human lips » (line 15)
All the characters -the girls and Dracula himself- except Jonathan of course, share common physical characteristics, like « red eyes » or « aquiline nose ». These similiraties are a proof that they belong to something that we can't already understand, like Jonathan does not understand himself
Despite the strange and unexplainable waves that are constituting the atmosphere of this scene, the attraction of Jonathan for these women is amplificated by the fear that he feels, which makes him powerless, facing such a mix of dreadful beautifulness, of animal spirit.
Fortunately, Dracula comes just in time and prevents Jonathan from the bite of the fair-lady. It's interesting to see that here, Dracula saves the life of the pretending hero. This scene is in fact a reversal of the two main characters roles, the hero is seen in a situation of powerlessness, while the "vilain" saves him, and becomes in some way the hero of this passage. Moreover, Jonathan assumes that his attitude does not respond to the qualities that he's supposed to have, for example when he writes: "It is not good to note this down, lest some day
it should meet Mina's eyes and cause her pain, but it is the truth"
He has the role of the vilain now.
The story of Dracula takes an important place in the general belief -let us call it a myth- of vampires.
Even whether some people believed in vampires long before the publication of Bram Stocker's work, the fact to write such a famous story based on this type of character renforced this belief. Moreover, its publication openned the door to a sort of turmoil based on vampires and their pretending existence at this period, which led to a lot of other creations such as films, novels and so on...
The idea that Bram Stocker inspired himself from the story of Vlad the empalor (who really existed, and who was seen as a vampire because of his bloody actions) also contributed a lot to the renown of Dracula, but also to the renown of other persons who really existed and who took a great place in the myth of vampires too.
In fact, Dracula by Bram Stocker does not constitute the original base of the myth of vampires, but is the work that enabled the myth of vampires to be famous all around the world and to be at the center of several hundreds of fantastic creations.
Here is my whole work! I will be glad to read any positive or negative remark about the style, the mistakes and about my work in general. Many thanks for those who will take the time to read it.
Réponse: Essai/ Dracula de violet91, postée le 28-11-2014 à 20:41:31 (S | E)
Hello again ,
Funny you ! The comma in the group three strange young women ...was 'inutile ´ ...I am just teasing you ; I'll have another look through , after dinner . See you .
Réponse: Essai/ Dracula de pipao, postée le 28-11-2014 à 20:46:35 (S | E)
Sorry for this.... ridiculous forgetfulness!
Réponse: Essai/ Dracula de violet91, postée le 28-11-2014 à 22:08:40 (S | E)
Hello , as I said ,
In this story, we are following a young solicitor, named Jonathan Harker, who is supposed to close an important deal ( to finalize Dracula's acquisition of his house in London) in Romania with a scheming character, Count Dracula.
We begin the reading at chapter three, in which the main character, Jonathan, seems to be in difficulty with three strange young women. In reading this extract we will be confronted to several interesting portraits of the characters, which will lead us to the evolution of the scene from a sort of erotism to a strong feeling of horror.
This blend( mixing , miscellany) of contradictory elements will finally enable us to think about the reversal of the two main characters 'roles' apostrophe, marque /genitif ), to finish with a court(
voc!) reflexion about the myth that Dracula constitutes.(un meilleur verbe anglo-saxon ?feature, embody...)We don't know exactly where Jonathan is or why he is there, we only know that he already was in that place before the beginning of the extract ( excerpt (for a change).
The description of the place is court
, not detailled, and lets the reader create the atmosphere he wants ( to like is better). We just know that the scene takes place during the night, thanks to several uses of the worl
d ( grave confusion fréquente) « moonlight » (line 2-3)Then the three ladies are evoked, through the internal point of view of Jonathan - a first person 'an 'I'internal focalization- , as the entire story is written( wrong = several narrators in different modes - letters, diaries ...- all being eye-witnesses, like several testimonies).
Jonathan is afraid( pas assez fort), and the fear he feels certainly comes from the animal side, the animal beauty of these girls. That is what makes him « uneasy » (line 11), when he sees their « red eyes » (line 6) their « brilliant teeth » (line 10) and above all, their « voluptuous lips » (line 10)( anlysis?)
What is more, there are several expressions that make us understand that such women can't be human beings, these expressions strengthen the impression of unreality. « The sound never could have come through the softness of human lips » (line 15)
All the characters -the girls and Dracula himself- except Jonathan of course, share common physical characteristics, like « red eyes » or « x ( article indefini)aquiline nose ( ou ce mot au pl.sans article, donc) ». These similiraties are a proof that they belong to something Xunreal that we can't( forme pleine) already understand, like( fx i B.E = as : conj.subordination)) Jonathan himself does not understand ( does not either .)
Despite the strange and unexplainable waves that are constituting ( fait établi, pas progressif)the atmosphere of this scene, the attraction of Jonathan for these women is amplificated( barbarisme
) by the fear that he feels, which makes him powerless, facing such a mix of dreadful beautifulness,(and) of animal spirit. Fortunately, Dracula comes X (particule) just in time and prevents Jonathan from the bite of the fair girl.( fair lady is rather confusions because of the comedy ) It's interesting to see that here, Dracula saves the life of the pretending ( voc .so-called) hero. This scene is in fact a reversal of the two main characters roles, the hero is seen in a situation of powerlessness, while the "vilain" saves him, and becomes in some way the hero of this passage. Moreover, Jonathan assumes that his attitude does not respond to the qualities that he's supposed to have, for example when he writes: "It is not good to note this down, lest some day
it should meet Mina's eyes and cause her pain, but it is the truth"
He has the role of the vilain now.
The story of Dracula takes an important place in the general belief -let us call it a myth- of vampires.
Even whether some people believed in vampires long before the publication of Bram Stocker's work, the fact to write ( le gérondif + itself suffiraient)such a famous story based on this type of character renforced this belief. Moreover, its publication openned the door to a sort of turmoil based on vampires and their pretending existence at this period, which led to a lot ofmany other creations adaptations such as films (quote Coppola's Dracula), novels and so on...
The idea that Bram Stocker inspired himself from the story of Vlad (TBien) the empalor
( barbarisme )(who really existed, and who was seen as a vampire because of his bloody actions) also contributed a lot to the renown( fame) of Dracula, but also to the renown of other persons who really existed ( Who? examples ?)and who took a great place in the myth of vampires too. In fact, Dracula by Bram Stocker does not constitute the original base( barbarisme) of the myth of vampires, but is the work that enabled the myth of vampires to be famous all around the world and to be at the center( orth.anglaise, please) of several hundreds of fantastic creations.( insist on the genre)
Jamais vous n'expliquez ce que peut être le sens de ce Dracula et du vampire en soi ? La vie, la mort ,l'au delà ? La symbolique du sang ? En quoi cela précisément justifie son impact 'universel'.
Attention ! Cherchez dans le dictionnaire ...n'anglicisezpas des mots français ce qui débouche sur des horreurs qui ravagent l'ensemble...
Still interesting ; the first part is better ; the second one needs to be corrected, improved and a little more developed as a kind of literary style.
Good night. See you again if necessary.
Réponse: Essai/ Dracula de pipao, postée le 29-11-2014 à 15:26:39 (S | E)
Tout d'abord merci pour votre aide et votre temps dédié à la correction de mon devoir
Pour ce qui est de la symbolique de Dracula que je n'aborde pas, sachez que ceci est voulu de ma part car mon devoir est censé s'articuler autour de la thématique du mythe/héros, tout cela dans un essai concis ne devant pas dépasser les 600 mots... Comme vous le voyez, le mien est déja au-delà de cette limite ce qui ne me permet pas de rajouter tout ce que je voudrais.
Merci toutefois pour cette aide qui aurait pu m'être précieuse.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 29-11-2014 22:19
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