Aide/Ellis Island

Aide/Ellis Island
Message de camille7 posté le 20-04-2015 à 15:07:31 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Pouvez-vous m'aider s'il vous plait afin que je puisse corriger mes fautes?

What shaped America? Firstly, we will look at the history of Ellis Island, then we will talk about the dangers of illegal immigration, and finally we will talk about the American dream.

Firstly, I want to talk about the document Ellis Island which is a web quest: it talks about the history of Ellis Island, the island immigration station at New York who was created to select those who would be allowed to live in America. since 1880 immigrants came in greater numbers, it's called the new wave; each day a hundred of immigrants was coming from Europe. So Ellis Island was created in 1882, it was the first immigration control and it was closed in 1954 to became a museum. More than twelve million immigrants landed at the island since the first Ellis Island immigrant: Annie Moore, a 15 year old Irish girl. There were a few controls, doctors did examinate each immigrant: If they had a curable disease they were kept for further examination to the island's hospital, but if they had an incurable disease, they were often sent back to their home countries. In the virtual tour of Ellis Island, it's explained that 40% persons have ancestors who passed through E.Island and the majority was fleeing poverty.

So there were difficulties and hardships for the immigrants to overcome before being allowed to enter America and live there. But the situation still exists even there is not E.Island anymore: America is still a magnet to immigrants from all over the world. Even if the myth of the melting pot is outdated, lots of chicanos and latinos try tro enter America legally or illegaly. The document I have chosen is particularly interesting as it illustrates how hard it is for them to immigrate in America today. This New York TImes article drals with the death of Noemi, eleven years, who tried to join her parents with a smuggler, but she was found by the police in Mexico. She committed suicide a bit further. She represents the 60 thousand unaccompagnied minors who try every year to join their relatives at all costs trying to cross the dangerous desert. Those families make a hard choice: Noemi's family live in an adobe home with no running water, so no matter what they have to go through, they are ready to do everything they can to get away from their miserable life, they are ready to risk their life. It's a human tragedy.

Je publierai la suite plus tard, si déjà quelqu'un a la bonté de me corriger, j'en serai heureuse!

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Modifié par lucile83 le 20-04-2015 17:05

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Réponse: Aide/Ellis Island de bluestar, postée le 20-04-2015 à 16:26:05 (S | E)
Bonjour..

Firstly, I want to talk about the document Ellis Island which is a web quest: it talks about the history of Ellis Island, the island immigration station at New York who was created to select those who would be allowed to live in America. Ssince 1880 immigrants came(mauvaise temps) in greater numbers, it's called the new wave; each day a hundred of immigrants was coming (temps?)from Europe. So Ellis Island was created in 1882, it was the first immigration control and it was closed in 1954 to became a museum. More than twelve million immigrants landed (temps?) at the island since the first Ellis Island immigrant: Annie Moore, a 15 year old Irish girl. There were a few controls, doctors did examinate each immigrant: iIf they had a curable disease they were kept for further examination to the island's hospital, but if they had an incurable disease, they were often sent back to their home countries. In the virtual tour of Ellis Island, it's explained that 40% persons have ancestors who passed through E.Island and the majority was fleeing poverty.

So there were difficulties and hardships for the immigrants to overcome before being allowed to enter America and live there. But the situation still exists even there is not E.Island anymore: America is still a magnet to for immigrants from all over the world. Even if the myth of the melting pot is outdated, lots of Cchicanos and Llatinos try tro enter America legally or illegally. The document I have chosen is particularly interesting as it illustrates how hard it is for them to immigrate in America today. This New York TImes article drals with the death of Noemi, eleven years, who tried to join her parents with a smuggler, but she was found by the police in Mexico. She committed suicide a bit further. She represents the 60 thousand unaccompagnied minors who try every year to join their relatives at all costs trying to cross the dangerous desert. Those families make a hard choice: Noemi's family live in an adobe home with no running water, so no matter what they have to go through, they are ready to do everything they can to get away from their miserable life, they are ready to risk their life (pluriel). It's a human tragedy.

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Réponse: Aide/Ellis Island de camille7, postée le 20-04-2015 à 18:12:38 (S | E)
Bonjour, je vous remercie pour cette aide, j'ai pu me corriger, j'avais un gros problème avec le verbe "come" je crois.
Voici la suite, si vous avez le courage de m'aider s'il vous plait!

Secondly, as we saw those difficulties and the dramatic situations it generates, we can wonder if the American Dream still exists.
What are the american dream and the reasons to go to the States today? Some people are likely to leave their homeland to find a better life in Us, it's a challenge, an image of success and opportunities. Well, it's an Enduring dream. I want to talk about two personal stories we have listen in a vocal document. Fang Yi Sheu and Farah Wafacy live in America and have emigrated from Taiwan and Iran. Fang wanted to become dancer, she was looking for a new life in America, dor an international career. She believes that there are plenty of opportunities for ambitious taiwanese in the US. She wants them to believe in their dreams, because she says nobody should give up easily. At the other side, Farah come with her family. She says her mum was really proud of being immigrant though she sometimes felt as an outsider. Farah has mixed feelings because she loves America but she doesn't feel at home. Many people criticize the idea of the american dream because they say that it's impossible for everyone to be able to fulfill their dreams:indeed inequalities prevent people from living their dream. If we weigh the pros and the cons, the American Dream is the origin of tragedies as we saw it with the latinos who want to live their dream at all costs, but it also boots people to try the best to be happy, to never give up their dreams.

To conclude, America is shaped of immigrants, it's a salad bowl of cultures. Many people left their homeland and immigrated to America in search of a better life, many of them had to overcome hardships to live there. And this attraction has her origin in the American dream. But despite the fact that the US government fights against illegal immigration, a lot of companies do need immigrants to work in their firms because they are a cheap labour force. So it's harder for the immigrants to integrate.

Merci pour votre temps, (re)bonne journée!

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Réponse: Aide/Ellis Island de bluestar, postée le 21-04-2015 à 09:36:24 (S | E)
Secondly, as we saw those difficulties and the dramatic situations it generates, we can wonder if the American Dream still exists.
What are (accorde) the Aamerican Ddream and the reasons to go to the States today? Some people are likely to leave their homeland to find a better life in Us the U.S., it's a challenge, an image of success and opportunities. Well, it's an eEnduring dream. I want to talk about two personal stories we have listen(participe passé avec préposition ici) in a vocal document. Fang Yi Sheu and Farah Wafacy live in America and have emigrated from Taiwan and Iran. Fang wanted to become a dancer, she was looking for a new life in America, dor an international career. She believes that there are plenty of opportunities for ambitious Ttaiwanese in the US. She wants them to believe in their dreams, because she says nobody should give up easily. At the other side, Farah come(temps?) with her family. She says her mum was really proud of being an immigrant though she sometimes felt as an outsider. Farah has mixed feelings because she loves America but she doesn't feel at home. Many people criticize the idea of the Aamerican Ddream because they say that it's impossible for everyone to be able to fulfill their dreams: indeed inequalities prevent people from living their dream. If we weigh the pros and the cons, the American Dream is the origin of tragedies as we saw it with the Llatinos who want to live their dream at all costs, but it also boots people to try the best to be happy, to never give up their dreams.

To conclude, America is shaped of immigrants, it's a salad bowl of cultures. Many people left their homeland and immigrated to America in search of a better life, and many of them had to overcome hardships to live there. And this attraction has her origin in the American dream. But despite the fact that the US government fights against illegal immigration, a lot of companies do need immigrants to work in their firms because they are a cheap labour force. So it's harder for the immigrants to integrate.

-------Soyez prudent sur l'utilisation de lettres majuscules pour les noms propres en anglais. Vous devez être cohérent dans leur utilisation, par exemple: American Dream pas american dream,
Taiwanese pas taiwanese, Latinos pas latinos etc.

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Réponse: Aide/Ellis Island de camille7, postée le 21-04-2015 à 12:05:08 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour cette aide!

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