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Message de hardjo posté le 03-05-2015 à 11:16:08 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous, comme vous le savez le Bac arrive très vite, c'est pourquoi j'ai déjà un peu travaillé mes notions, mais j'aimerais que vous corrigiez ma notion myths and heroes s'il vous plait.
Merci pour vos réponses.
I’m going to talk about Myths and heroes. To begin with I’d like to give their definition. A myth is a story that may or may not be true. Some myths may have started as ‘true’ stories but as people re-told them some parts may have changed by mistake, or take them more interesting. However, a hero is a person who is admired for their courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities. It can be the main character in a book or a film or a person with superhuman qualities. It can also be a modern-day hero, a person who has performed a heroic act. So, the question is: What really is a hero, and can everybody be a hero? First we will see some appearance of a hero, then we will focus on myths.
First of all, we can use the document “a hard decision”. It is a story narrates by the American pilot’s son. He testifies to what his father lived. During the WW2 the father’s plane crashed down, so he was badly wounded. Fortunately he met a German priest that rescued him. The priest took care of him, he protected him from Germans. Thus, the Priest disobeyed the orders to save an enemy, he is a hero. Moreover, the pilot was fighting against Germans to defend freedom, so we can say that he is a hero too.
Then, to take another example we can focus on the movie “Imitation Game” through the trailer and a testimony. It is a true story. During the same war, Alan Turing, a mathematician and autistic person, broke Enigma it was the code which Germans sent coded messages. To accomplish this, he created a machine. Thus, he decrypted the nazi code and anticipated the German attacks. Thereby, his work helped save approximately 22million lives. Despite his problems at communication and his solitary live, Alan created the computer’s ancestor. Thus, we can say that he is hero. However some time later, he had to choose between jail and chemical castration because he was gay, and it was illegal.
Therefore, there are several types of hero. A hero can be the person who saves a life when he had to kill him. It can be the person who fights to freedom, or the person who fights hard to prevent deaths of millions of people. So, everybody can be a hero, providing that its acts are courageous, brave, and worthy of a hero
Moreover we also talk about myths to evoke heroes.
“Troy” is a film’s poster about an antiquity story. Achilles is a half-god whose father was a king and mum was a nymph. He is the hero of the battle of Troy, a story based on the Iliad by Homer. Actually, Helen of Sparta was kidnapped by Paris of Troy, which caused that war. Achilles gives the image of an invincible, invulnerable being with a lot of strength except he has got a weakness: his heel, which is also a symbolical proof of his humanity He is a character of fiction who never existed and he gives the image of a super-hero who is above men.
Thus, a hero can also be an imaginary person which is a model of viewers who can identify with him.
To conclude, a hero is a person who fights for values, for peace or to save lives. However, the qualification of “hero” is very subjective because a person can be a hero to someone and not for another. A hero can be real or not, it can only be a character of fiction that makes you want to follow his example and become a good person. Therefore, everybody can become a hero as soon as he acts like a hero.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 03-05-2015 12:29
Message de hardjo posté le 03-05-2015 à 11:16:08 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous, comme vous le savez le Bac arrive très vite, c'est pourquoi j'ai déjà un peu travaillé mes notions, mais j'aimerais que vous corrigiez ma notion myths and heroes s'il vous plait.
Merci pour vos réponses.
I’m going to talk about Myths and heroes. To begin with I’d like to give their definition. A myth is a story that may or may not be true. Some myths may have started as ‘true’ stories but as people re-told them some parts may have changed by mistake, or take them more interesting. However, a hero is a person who is admired for their courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities. It can be the main character in a book or a film or a person with superhuman qualities. It can also be a modern-day hero, a person who has performed a heroic act. So, the question is: What really is a hero, and can everybody be a hero? First we will see some appearance of a hero, then we will focus on myths.
First of all, we can use the document “a hard decision”. It is a story narrates by the American pilot’s son. He testifies to what his father lived. During the WW2 the father’s plane crashed down, so he was badly wounded. Fortunately he met a German priest that rescued him. The priest took care of him, he protected him from Germans. Thus, the Priest disobeyed the orders to save an enemy, he is a hero. Moreover, the pilot was fighting against Germans to defend freedom, so we can say that he is a hero too.
Then, to take another example we can focus on the movie “Imitation Game” through the trailer and a testimony. It is a true story. During the same war, Alan Turing, a mathematician and autistic person, broke Enigma it was the code which Germans sent coded messages. To accomplish this, he created a machine. Thus, he decrypted the nazi code and anticipated the German attacks. Thereby, his work helped save approximately 22million lives. Despite his problems at communication and his solitary live, Alan created the computer’s ancestor. Thus, we can say that he is hero. However some time later, he had to choose between jail and chemical castration because he was gay, and it was illegal.
Therefore, there are several types of hero. A hero can be the person who saves a life when he had to kill him. It can be the person who fights to freedom, or the person who fights hard to prevent deaths of millions of people. So, everybody can be a hero, providing that its acts are courageous, brave, and worthy of a hero
Moreover we also talk about myths to evoke heroes.
“Troy” is a film’s poster about an antiquity story. Achilles is a half-god whose father was a king and mum was a nymph. He is the hero of the battle of Troy, a story based on the Iliad by Homer. Actually, Helen of Sparta was kidnapped by Paris of Troy, which caused that war. Achilles gives the image of an invincible, invulnerable being with a lot of strength except he has got a weakness: his heel, which is also a symbolical proof of his humanity He is a character of fiction who never existed and he gives the image of a super-hero who is above men.
Thus, a hero can also be an imaginary person which is a model of viewers who can identify with him.
To conclude, a hero is a person who fights for values, for peace or to save lives. However, the qualification of “hero” is very subjective because a person can be a hero to someone and not for another. A hero can be real or not, it can only be a character of fiction that makes you want to follow his example and become a good person. Therefore, everybody can become a hero as soon as he acts like a hero.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 03-05-2015 12:29
Réponse: Bac/Myths and heroes de gerondif, postée le 03-05-2015 à 11:52:35 (S | E)
Bonjour,
votre texte se lit bien. assez peu d'erreurs.
Bonjour à tous, comme vous le savez le bac arrive très vite, c'est pourquoi j'ai déjà un peu travailler(j'ai déja écrire, voir, travailler? ou j'ai déja écrit, vu, travaillé mes notions?) mes notions, mais j'aimerais que vous corrigiez ma notion myths and heroes
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert
I’m going to talk about Myths and heroes. To begin with I’d like to give their definition. A myth is a story that may or may not be true. Some myths may have started as ‘true’ stories but as people re-told them some parts may have changed by mistake, or to make
First of all, we can use the document “a hard decision”. It is a story narrates(racontée par, participe passé) by the American pilot’s son. He testifies to what his father lived. During the(à supprimer) WW2 the father’s plane crashed down, so he was badly wounded. Fortunately he met a German priest that(that est restrictif et ne va pas, utilisez who) rescued him. The priest took care of him, he protected him from the Germans. Thus, the Priest disobeyed the orders to save an enemy, he is a hero. Moreover, the pilot was fighting against Germans to defend freedom, so we can say that he is a hero too.
Then, to take another example, we can focus on the movie “Imitation Game” through the trailer and a testimony. It is a true story. During the same war, Alan Turing, a mathematician and autistic person, broke Enigma. it was the code with which the Germans sent coded messages. To accomplish this, he created a machine. Thus, he decrypted the nazi code and anticipated the German attacks. Thereby(très correct, super classe et super rare!), his work helped save approximately 22 million lives. Despite his problems at communication (faites un nom composé) and his solitary live, Alan created the computer’s ancestor (cas possessif limite entre deux objets). Thus, we can say that he is a hero. However some time later, he had to choose between jail and chemical castration because he was gay, and it was illegal.
Therefore, there are several types of heroes. A hero can be the person who saves a life when he had to(alors qu'il aurait dû la tuer, erreur de temps) kill him. It can be the person who fights to for freedom, or the person who fights hard to prevent deaths of millions of people. So, everybody can be a hero, providing that its(avec everybody, on met their) acts are courageous, brave, and worthy of a hero
Moreover(n'est pas logique, de plus indique qu'on rajoute un argument alors que là, vous changez de sujet) we also talk about myths to evoke heroes.
“Troy” is a film’s poster (ne va pas film n'ets pas un humain) about an antiquity story (sonne faux). Achilles is a half-god whose father was a king and mum was a nymph. He is the hero of the battle of Troy, a story based on the Iliad by Homer. Actually, Helen of Sparta was kidnapped by Paris of Troy, which caused that war. Achilles gives the image of an invincible, invulnerable being with a lot of strength except(sauf qu'il a une faiblesse! Yo man, c'est du langage de jeunes, ça, ça ne va pas dans ce devoir!!) he has got a weakness: his heel, which is also a symbolical proof of his humanity. He is a character of fiction who never existed and he gives the image of a super-hero who is above men.
Thus, a hero can also be an imaginary person which(person est un être humain) is a model of for viewers who can identify with him.
To conclude, a hero is a person who fights for values, for peace or to save lives. However, the qualification of “hero” is very subjective because a person can be a hero to someone and not for another. A hero can be real or not, it can only be a character of fiction that makes you want to follow his example and become a good person. Therefore, everybody can become a hero as soon as / as long as/ he acts like a hero.
Réponse: Bac/Myths and heroes de hardjo, postée le 06-05-2015 à 21:36:16 (S | E)
beaucoup, j'ai encore 2 ou 3 problèmes que je n'arrive pas à résoudre, je ne comprends pas l'erreur du "at" et donc je ne sais pas comment le remplacer. Ensuite le "moreover", je ne sais pas comment le remplacer. Et sinon j'ai proposé une solution en remplacant "antiquity story" par "ancient story". Merci d'avance de votre aide, pour cela je vous reposte mon texte corrigé:I’m going to talk about Myths and heroes. To begin with I’d like to give their definition. A myth is a story that may or may not be true. Some myths may have started as ‘true’ stories but as people re-told them some parts may have changed by mistake, or to make them more interesting. However, a hero is a person who is admired for his courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities. It can be the main character in a book or a film or a person with superhuman qualities. It can also be a modern-day hero, a person who has performed a heroic act. So, the question is: What really is a hero, and can everybody be a hero? First we will see some appearance of a hero, then we will focus on myths.
First of all, we can use the document “a hard decision”. It is a story narrated by the American pilot’s son. He testifies to what his father lived. During WW2 the father’s plane crashed down, so he was badly wounded. Fortunately he met a German priest who rescued him. The priest took care of him, he protected him from the Germans. Thus, the Priest disobeyed the orders to save an enemy, he is a hero. Moreover, the pilot was fighting against Germans to defend freedom, so we can say that he is a hero too.
Then, to take another example we can focus on the movie “Imitation Game” through the trailer and a testimony. It is a true story. During the same war, Alan Turing, a mathematician and autistic person, broke Enigma it was the code with which the Germans sent coded messages. To accomplish this, he created a machine. Thus, he decrypted the nazi code and anticipated the German attacks. Thereby, his work helped save approximately 22million lives. Despite his problems at communication and his solitary live, Alan created the computer ancestor. Thus, we can say that he is a hero. However some time later, he had to choose between jail and chemical castration because he was gay, and it was illegal.
Therefore, there are several types of hero. A hero can be the person who saves a life when he has to kill him. It can be the person who fights for freedom, or the person who fights hard to prevent deaths of millions of people. So, everybody can be a hero, providing that their acts are courageous, brave, and worthy of a hero
Moreover we can also talk about myths to evoke heroes.
“Troy” is a film poster about an antiquity story(an ancient story?). Achilles is a half-god whose father was a king and mum was a nymph. He is the hero of the battle of Troy, a story based on the Iliad by Homer. Actually, Helen of Sparta was kidnapped by Paris of Troy, which caused that war. Achilles gives the image of an invincible, invulnerable being with a lot of strength. Yet he has got a weakness: his heel, which is also a symbolical proof of his humanity He is a character of fiction who never existed and he gives the image of a super-hero who is above men.
Thus, a hero can also be an imaginary person who is a model for viewers who can identify with him.
To conclude, a hero is a person who fights for values, for peace or to save lives. However, the qualification of “hero” is very subjective because a person can be a hero to someone and not for another. A hero can be real or not, he can only be a character of fiction that makes you want to follow his example and become a good person. Therefore, everybody can become a hero as long as he acts like a hero.
Réponse: Bac/Myths and heroes de gerondif, postée le 06-05-2015 à 21:50:37 (S | E)
Bonsoir
I’m going to talk about Myths and heroes. To begin with I’d like to give their definition. A myth is a story that may or may not be true. Some myths may have started as ‘true’ stories but as people re-told them some parts may have changed by mistake, or to make them more interesting. However, a hero is a person who is admired for his courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities. It can be the main character in a book or a film or a person with superhuman qualities. It can also be a modern-day hero, a person who has performed a heroic act. So, the question is: What really is a hero, and can everybody be a hero? First we will see some appearance(sens?) of a hero, then we will focus on myths.
First of all, we can use the document “a hard decision”. It is a story narrated by the American pilot’s son. He testifies to what his father lived. During WW2 the father’s plane crashed down, so he was badly wounded. Fortunately he met a German priest who rescued him. The priest took care of him, he protected him from the Germans. Thus, the Priest disobeyed the orders to save an enemy, he is a hero. Moreover, the pilot was fighting against Germans to defend freedom, so we can say that he is a hero too.
Then, to take another example we can focus on the movie “Imitation Game” through the trailer and a testimony. It is a true story. During the same war, Alan Turing, a mathematician and autistic person, broke Enigma it was the code with which the Germans sent coded messages. To accomplish this, he created a machine. Thus, he decrypted the nazi code and anticipated the German attacks. Thereby, his work helped save approximately 22 million lives. Despite his communication problems(un nom composé, ce n'est pas si dur à faire!) and his solitary live, Alan created the computer ancestor. Thus, we can say that he is a hero. However, some time later, he had to choose between jail and chemical castration because he was gay, and it was illegal.
Therefore, there are several types of heroes. A hero can be the person who saves a life when he has to(alors qu'il aurait dû, changer la conjonction et le temps) kill him. It can be the person who fights for freedom, or the person who fights hard to prevent the deaths of millions of people. So, everybody can be a hero, providing(participe passé) that their acts are courageous, brave, and worthy of a hero
Moreover(remplacer par cependant, pourtant) we can also talk about myths to evoke heroes.
“Troy” is a film poster about a story that took place in antiquity. Achilles is a half-god whose father was a king and mum was a nymph. He is the hero of the battle of Troy, a story based on the Iliad by Homer. Actually, Helen of Sparta was kidnapped by Paris of Troy, which caused that war. Achilles gives the image of an invincible, invulnerable being with a lot of strength. Yet he has got a weakness: his heel, which is also a symbolical proof of his humanity He is a character of fiction who never existed and he gives the image of a super-hero who is above men.
Thus, a hero can also be an imaginary person who is a model for viewers(des spectateurs?) who can identify with him.
To conclude, a hero is a person who fights for values, for peace or to save lives. However, the qualification of “hero” is very subjective because a person can be a hero to someone and not for another. A hero can be real or not, he can only bemight be simply a character of fiction that makes you want to follow his example and become a good person. Therefore, everybody can become a hero as long as he acts like a hero.
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