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Message de berylou posté le 11-05-2015 à 22:45:44 (S | E | F)
Bonjour
je viens de rédiger mon oral d'anglais pour le Bac et j'aurais besoin d'un coup de pouce pour corriger mon oral car je sais que je fais plein de
fautes.
Merci d'avance à toute personne qui accepterait de me corriger ,ce serait super sympa.
Space and exchanges
I’m going to deal with the notion of space and exchanges through immigrating to USA before and now.
I’ll use 4 documents :
-3 pictures describing pioneer’s reality during the conquest of the West
- America from West Side Story
My first part will be devoted to the conquest of the West and in my second part I’ll speak about being an immigrant in the 20th century.
1 . The conquest of the West is mythical topic because he has become one of the fundamental values of the American that is to say this real story is embelished. These 3 pictures show what truly happened and the difficulties pioneer had to face with if they wanted to settle in the west of US. The first picture deals with train of wagons which are crossing the fields. At the bottom of the pictures we can notice a man riding a horse: he is the wagon master, a man paid by pioneers in order to show them the way, to be responsible for the train, to help them for escaping the dangers they could problably encounter. For instance the buffaloes or the Indians as we can see in the second picture depicting a fight between immigrants and Indians. Even when they had finished their travel and finally found the so research land, their hardishps are not over as is evidenced by the third picture. A pioneer’s family are going to settle as a consequence they are building a log cabin while women and children are taking care of caking and starting a fire .
2.Since all the territory of USA was conquered, immigrant’s status changed. Indeed from the second part of the twentieth centur. Indeed people who decided to migrate to US endure racism as is shown by the song America from West Side Story. This song is a sort of dialogue between boys and girls, reflecting from the one hand the American Dream, which is a lure and reality, which sounds a little pessimistic from the other hand. In a first time girls express their faith in America and in a second part boys answer them with true facts. This song prove that people are captivated by America which represents promise land but in the end they realise the American Dream is a lie: instead of being wealthy and have a better life as soon as they arrive, they have to start at the bottom of social ladder that is to say that if they want to climb this ladder they have to go through many hardships.
To conclude we can notice that immigrating to USA has never been easy for anybody. The difficulties have changed between now and then. Before they were physical hardships and now psychological and moral difficulties.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 11-05-2015 22:55
Message de berylou posté le 11-05-2015 à 22:45:44 (S | E | F)
Bonjour
je viens de rédiger mon oral d'anglais pour le Bac et j'aurais besoin d'un coup de pouce pour corriger mon oral car je sais que je fais plein de
fautes.
Merci d'avance à toute personne qui accepterait de me corriger ,ce serait super sympa.
Space and exchanges
I’m going to deal with the notion of space and exchanges through immigrating to USA before and now.
I’ll use 4 documents :
-3 pictures describing pioneer’s reality during the conquest of the West
- America from West Side Story
My first part will be devoted to the conquest of the West and in my second part I’ll speak about being an immigrant in the 20th century.
1 . The conquest of the West is mythical topic because he has become one of the fundamental values of the American that is to say this real story is embelished. These 3 pictures show what truly happened and the difficulties pioneer had to face with if they wanted to settle in the west of US. The first picture deals with train of wagons which are crossing the fields. At the bottom of the pictures we can notice a man riding a horse: he is the wagon master, a man paid by pioneers in order to show them the way, to be responsible for the train, to help them for escaping the dangers they could problably encounter. For instance the buffaloes or the Indians as we can see in the second picture depicting a fight between immigrants and Indians. Even when they had finished their travel and finally found the so research land, their hardishps are not over as is evidenced by the third picture. A pioneer’s family are going to settle as a consequence they are building a log cabin while women and children are taking care of caking and starting a fire .
2.Since all the territory of USA was conquered, immigrant’s status changed. Indeed from the second part of the twentieth centur. Indeed people who decided to migrate to US endure racism as is shown by the song America from West Side Story. This song is a sort of dialogue between boys and girls, reflecting from the one hand the American Dream, which is a lure and reality, which sounds a little pessimistic from the other hand. In a first time girls express their faith in America and in a second part boys answer them with true facts. This song prove that people are captivated by America which represents promise land but in the end they realise the American Dream is a lie: instead of being wealthy and have a better life as soon as they arrive, they have to start at the bottom of social ladder that is to say that if they want to climb this ladder they have to go through many hardships.
To conclude we can notice that immigrating to USA has never been easy for anybody. The difficulties have changed between now and then. Before they were physical hardships and now psychological and moral difficulties.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 11-05-2015 22:55
Réponse: Oral/ Espaces et échanges de gerondif, postée le 13-05-2015 à 12:09:54 (S | E)
Bonjour,
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert
Il est temps d'apprendre qu'on ne met pas the devant les noms de pays sauf quand ils sont pluriels:
I live in France, in America.
I live in the US, in the USA, in The Netherlands, in the United Arab Emirates, in the United Kingdom.
Mettre "un" (a) devant un nom singulier peut aussi s'avérer utile.
Space and exchanges
I’m going to deal with the notion of space and exchanges through immigrating to the USA before and now.
I’ll use 4 documents :
-3 pictures describing pioneer’s reality during the conquest of the West
- America from West Side Story
My first part will be devoted to the conquest of the West and in my second part I’ll speak about being an immigrant in the 20th century.
1 . The conquest of the West is a mythical topic because he(qui ça?) has become one of the fundamental values of the American people that is to say this real story is embellished. These 3 pictures show what truly happened and the difficulties pioneers had to face with if they wanted to settle in the west of the US. The first picture deals with a train of wagons which are crossing the fields. At the bottom of the pictures we can notice a man riding a horse: he is the wagon master, a man paid by pioneers in order to show them the way, to be responsible for the train, to help them
2.Since all the territory of the USA was conquered, the immigrants’ status has changed. Indeed from the second part of the twentieth century. Indeed people who decided to migrate to the US endure racism as is shown by the song America from West Side Story. This song is a sort of dialogue between boys and girls, reflecting from the one hand the American Dream, which is a lure and reality, which sounds a little pessimistic from the other hand. In a first time girls express their faith in America and in a second part boys answer them with true facts. This song proves that people are captivated by America which represents the promised land(ce sont des mots clefs, ne les déformez pas) but in the end they realise the American Dream is a lie: instead of being wealthy and have(ing) a better life as soon as they arrive, they have to start at the bottom of the social ladder that is to say that if they want to climb this ladder they have to go through many hardships.
To conclude we can notice that immigrating to the USA has never been easy for anybody. The difficulties have changed between now and then(dans l'autre sens. "in the meantime" irait aussi). Before they were ("ils étaient" ou "il y avait"?) physical hardships and now psychological and moral difficulties.
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